21 Signs of a Misogynist Husband and How to Deal

Not every hurtful comment or controlling moment shows up loudly… sometimes it slips in quietly, wrapped in “jokes,” expectations, or old beliefs that feel hard to name. You might sense a growing discomfort, a feeling of being talked over, minimized, or held to unfair standards, yet still question yourself.

Loving someone while feeling unequal can be confusing, exhausting, and emotionally draining. When respect feels conditional, or your voice seems less valued, it leaves you wondering what’s really happening beneath the surface. 

Living with a misogynist husband can create this constant tension, where doubt lingers, and self-trust slowly erodes… even on the good days.

What is the meaning of misogyny?

Misogyny simply means prejudice, or deep-rooted dislike of women — a bias that can show up as contempt, discrimination, or hostile behavior toward women in everyday life.

According to Kristen Failla, LMFT, “Misogyny, in the field of psychology, has been traditionally regarded as an individual emotion. However, the basis of this theory and related research on the topic was conducted by cisgender men. Modern psychology now perceives misogyny as an affective practice.

This shift effectively recognizes the systemic influence of misogyny, as well as patriarchy, and its disproportionate effect on intersecting identities (such as women of color, low-income, disabled women, and LGBTQIA+ individuals). Misogyny is embedded in the fabric of institutions, laws, and cultural norms, not just an instance of individual prejudice.”

It isn’t just rude comments or stereotypes; it’s an attitude that positions women as inferior or unworthy of equal respect and opportunity. 

Example: If you find yourself thinking my husband is a misogynist, it might be because your opinions are regularly brushed aside, your choices are questioned more than his. These moments can feel small on their own, yet over time they create a sense of imbalance and emotional strain.

Please note:

If this resonates, know that noticing these patterns doesn’t mean you’re overreacting or being too sensitive. Many women struggle to name what feels off in their relationships, and awareness is often the first step toward clarity, self-trust, and emotional safety.

5 common causes of misogyny

Misogyny doesn’t arise from just one thing; it’s shaped by social, cultural, and psychological influences that build and reinforce biased attitudes over time.

Coach Silvana Mici states,

Misogyny often stems from deep-seated beliefs about gender roles and superiority. It’s important to challenge these beliefs through education and empathy.

• Patriarchal cultural norms – When societies reward male dominance and traditional gender roles, bias against women becomes normalized and expected.
• Internalized beliefs – People (including women) may absorb and repeat stereotypical ideas about gender roles learned from family, media, or tradition.
• Gender stereotyping – Subtle biases like assuming men lead and women follow shape expectations and can lead to dismissing women’s contributions.
• Social reinforcement – Peer groups, media, and online spaces can echo and amplify negative attitudes toward women, reinforcing harmful beliefs.
• Backlash to change – Some people react to shifts in gender equality with resentment or resistance, which can fuel hostile attitudes toward women. 

Related Reading: 10 Ways to Spot a Misogynist

21 signs of a misogynist husband 

The signs of a misogynistic husband are not always obvious; they often appear in everyday interactions, expectations, or subtle patterns of control. 

Kristen Failla, LMFT, highlights that “Misogyny involves various dynamics including power, dominance, authority, privilege, and control- all of which can have calculatingly detrimental impacts on women.”

Over time, these behaviors can affect confidence, communication, and emotional safety within the relationship.

1. He thinks women are weak or incapable

“See, that’s why women shouldn’t drive cars!” 

He might say it as a side comment, a joke, or even a direct opinion of how a woman shouldn’t do certain things. A misogynist husband would always have the idea that women can’t do things correctly and should leave it to the ‘men’ to do it.

• How to deal: Calmly challenge stereotypes when they come up, set boundaries around disrespectful jokes, and affirm your abilities without trying to seek his approval.

2. He will not support your ambition to grow your career

“Well, what did she have to do to get into that position?”

Misogynists think that women do not belong in the corporate world. They don’t have respect for a female CEO or supervisor.

Kristen Failla highlights, “Misogyny involves various dynamics, including power, dominance, authority, privilege, and control, all of which can have calculatingly detrimental impacts on women.”

There are even times when they assume a woman would have to do so many things just to ‘get’ their position; women can’t equally achieve that because of hard work, talent, and brains.

He would often discourage you from achieving your dream job. He would recommend that you stay at home and take care of him and the kids.

• How to deal: Stay firm about your goals, seek encouragement from supportive people, and remember that your ambition is valid even if he doesn’t endorse it.

3. He shows anger and disgust twomen’ss female leaders

“She could not have done that without any help from powerful men.”

A misogynist will always think that women of power are ‘useless’ and will not contribute anything to society. They can also comment on how manly they seem to be or how they try to be men, just to justify that men are still dominant in this field.

• How to deal: Avoid getting pulled into debates meant to demean women; instead, disengage and observe whether he is open to respectful conversations about leadership and merit.

4. He doesn’t believe in equality among men and women

“That’s nonsense! Men and women cannot be equals!”

Because of social media, we often see women empowerment, not to mention the equality between women and men. Whenever he sees them, he would usually have side comments about how women are still trying to pretend to be equal to men. 

• How to deal: Express your values clearly and notice whether he can respect differences in beliefs, even if he doesn’t fully agree.

5. He won’t let you earn more than he does

“So, you’re happy that you got lucky with that job? Good for you.”

A misogynistic husband will never be happy for women who want to achieve their dream job.

If you recently landed a job or have been earning more than him, he’ll take that against you. He would show no interest in your career. He might even give side comments on how women should focus on the family and kids.

On the other hand, all he does should be praised because he’s the man of the house, the breadwinner, the provider, and you should be thankful for him.

• How to deal: Keep financial independence where possible and avoid downplaying your success to protect his ego.

6. He uses degrading statements

“Give me a break! Don’t be a woman who thinks she can rule the world!”

That’s it, a misogynist right there.

Those words contain the use of the ‘female’ word to degrade or insult. It’s like showing that being a woman means you’re lower than men; that only women can do shameful things.

• How to deal: Name the behavior directly and let him know such language is hurtful and unacceptable, then step away if it continues.

7. He always puts you down

“Seriously? That’s it? Without me, you won’t be able to go anywhere with that skill!”

He may try to say it like a joke, but remember this: he means it!

Every chance he can, he would belittle, make fun of, or put you down. From your family background, education, friends, sand kills, he would find a way to make fun of you so he could feel better.

• How to deal: Stop engaging in self-defense during insults; instead, limit emotional exposure and seek validation outside the relationship.

8. You need to follow his terms, even when it comes to sex

“It’s your responsibility as a wife to please me and have sex with me.”

Sex is a beautiful thing, but if you have a misogynistic husband, you won’t have a say in your relationship.

It would seem that sex has become an obligation for a woman to please her man. You should, ‘as a woman, ‘whenever he wants it,’ oblige to his demands. If not, he’ll get angry or punish you by not talking to you.

Remember that if he tries to force you, even if you’re married, that’s considered rape.

• How to deal: Prioritize your consent and safety; seek professional or legal support if pressure or coercion is present.

9. He will not help you with “women’s tasks.”

“No. That’s a woman’s job.”

That’s right, a ‘woman’s’ job. A misogynist can never see himself doing such tasks. He should only be in the corporate world, and women shouldn’t ask ‘men’ to do chores.

He would often just watch you clean while he’s watching the game. Even if your baby is crying, the laundry has piled up, and there’s no food yet, he won’t help.

• How to deal: Set clear expectations around shared responsibilities and notice whether he respects teamwork or insists on rigid roles.

10. He thinks it’s a woman’s responsibility to stay at home

“Where are my clean clothes? Don’t tell me you haven’t cooked yet! You’re just here doing nothing while I work so hard!”

For a misogynist partner, he’s the only one doing great things. He works and gives his woman money. Without him, their family would suffer. Of course, he expects his wife to do everything for him, but still, he sees her as incompetent and useless.

• How to deal: Reassert the value of unpaid labor and recognize that dismissing your contribution is a form of disrespect.

11. He describes his exes as “crazy” women

“That woman is crazy! Good thing I left her!” 

Think about this,Why would he describe them as such? This is a red flag that you have a misogynistic husband who will discredit all his exes.

Kristen Failla, LMFT, adds that “Sociolinguistic and psychological research suggests that how a population (in this case, men) discusses another group (women) is very telling; it reveals deeply rooted cultural norms, power imbalances, and social values- all of which can be wrapped up in misogyny.
It is very important to take how men talk about other women seriously because it can be an indicator of misogyny.”

• How to deal: See this as a pattern rather than isolated stories, and be cautious about how he may later describe you. It is very important to take how men talk about other women seriously because it can be an indicator of misogyny.”

12. He would show sexism masked as concern for women

“You’re a woman. You shouldn’t be working. That’s your husband’s job to provide.”

Sounds concerned and sweet? Well, not really. For him, women are incapable of working or having a promising career. Often masked as concerned, they have hidden meaning in every phrase they say about women.

• How to deal: Listen closely to the intent behind “protective” comments and trust your discomfort when concern feels limiting.

13. He thinks highly of himself – in every aspect

“Can you imagine your life without me?”

Seems like a harmless joke, but read between the lines. One of the signs of a misogynistic man is that he thinks highly of himself, that you won’t live without him. Sometimes, he may even say that women would do everything to get a guy like him.

• How to deal: Maintain your independence and avoid shrinking yourself to keep him feeling superior.

14. He shows two different sides

“Friends, let me tell you. I’m the luckiest man alive to have a wife like her. She’s everything to me.”

So sweet! So adorable and loving, but sadly, this is just a facade when you’re with other people. He’s just shothe wing his good side, but when you are all alone, he changes and shows his true colors. 

• How to deal: Trust how he treats you in private more than how he performs in public.

15. He takes credit for your ideas and hard work

“Of course! I’m a hands-on father to my kids. Look at them. They’re precious!”

When other people are around, he becomes the best dad, but that’s just an act. When you’re at home, it becomes the woman’s job to take care of everything, but when it comes to credit, well, he has the right to claim that.

• How to deal: Claim your contributions confidently and avoid minimizing your role to keep peace.

16. He doesn’t take feminism seriously

“There is no such thing. Women make everything complicated.”

That right there is a sign of a misogynist. Of course, whenever there’s an issue, it’s the women’s fault, according to a misogynist.

• How to deal: Decide whether explaining your perspective feels safe or draining, and choose your emotional energy wisely.

17. He would convince you about other women’s ‘irrational’ ideas

“You know better than that! Don’t be like those women who are so full of themselves.”

A man who thinks feminism is a joke is a misogynist. Whenever there’s a topic about feminism, he would think that it’s just an act for attention, and he would even discredit them.

• How to deal: Notice how often women are framed as “irrational” and consider whether mutual respect truly exists.

18. He gets defensive when you talk about misogyny

“Seriously? That’s what you get by listening to those women!”

He would refuse to talk about misogyny and would even blame the thought of it as toxic or as a result of listening to ‘women’ who want attention.

• How to deal: Step back from discussions that turn hostile and focus on protecting your emotional well-being.

19. He’s abusive

“Don’t blame this on me! You did this to yourself! You deserve this!”

A misogynist would grab every opportunity to belittle and attack you. Aside from that, he would even gaslight at every chance and would remind you of how incompetent you are. You would see it in his eyes. He has that disgusted look when he stares at you.

• How to deal: Seek immediate support from trusted people or professionals; abuse is never justified or caused by you.

20. He passes his mindset to your children

“Son, you have to grow up like daddy, okay? Never let any woman boss you around!”

Sadly, a misogynist husband is a misogynist father. If he has a daughter, don’t be surprised if he treats her the same. However, a son to him is a prodigy. It would become his goal to nurture him to be like him, a misogynist.

• How to deal: Counter harmful messages with healthy values and consider external support to protect your children’s emotional development.

Watch this TED Talk by Sahana Mathiarasan, who shares how comments and jokes reinforce misogyny and harm women.

21. He controls decisions by default

“I know what’s best. Just do what I say.”

A misogynist husband often assumes authority in decisions about money, family, social plans, or life choices, leaving little room for discussion. Your input may be ignored or treated as secondary, reinforcing a power imbalance.

How to deal: Reassert your right to participate in decisions and notice whether he responds with respect or control when you do.

Finding clarity

Living with a misogynist husband can quietly affect your confidence, emotional safety, and sense of self over time. Recognizing these patterns is not about assigning blame, but about understanding what you are experiencing and why it feels unsettling. 

Coach Silvana Mici advises,

Always remember that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and trust, not control. Recognize your worth and assert your right to make decisions for yourself.

A misogynist may show a lack of empathy towards women’s experiences, dismissing their emotions or minimizing their concerns. Educate him about the impact of his words and actions. Encourage him to listen actively and empathize with women’s experiences. Seek couples therapy if communication issues persist. 

You deserve respect, mutual support, and to be treated as an equal partner in your relationship. Whether you choose to set firmer boundaries, seek outside support, or simply reflect on your needs, honoring your feelings matters. 

Awareness can be the first step toward clarity, healing, and healthier choices for your future.

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Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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