How to Know if Someone Is Breaking up With You: 24 Serious Signs

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Relationships are hard to navigate and even harder to be secure in. It’s only natural to have moments of doubt and uncertainty, and feelings of vulnerability. However, there might be some foreshadowing signs of break up that can help you estimate when the end of your relationship will be. 

So, how to know if someone is breaking up with you? Sometimes you might feel like you’re reading too much into these signs, but if your gut is telling you to keep an eye out, something might actually be wrong. 

24 signs someone is about to break up with you

How to know if someone is breaking up with you? If you’re having trouble telling what could be a sign someone is about to break up with you, then read on for some insightful cues on what to look out for.

1. There’s a growing distance between you

People usually tend to distance themselves if they’re unhappy, feel doubtful, or are uncomfortable. It’s best to let your partner bridge the gap on their own. But it could also spell the end of your relationship and is a sign your partner wants to break up.

2. They stop doing things for you

A relationship is a give and take. It’s an unspoken commitment to put in effort and do things for each other. If you’ve noticed that your partner has stopped putting in effort to make you happy, then it’s one of many break-up signs in a relationship.

No wonder this is a sign pointing to a breakup. 

3. They make up excuses

A sign your boyfriend wants to break up is if he starts making up excuses for why he can’t meet up with you. These excuses start out small, but slowly it starts to get more common, and you realize that he’s making up fake excuses. 

People only make up excuses if they are no longer interested. If you realize that he’s actively avoiding being with you without communicating honestly or genuinely, then it is a sign that he wants to end the relationship.

4. They keep picking fights with you

A sign your girlfriend wants to break up is if she starts getting angry at every small thing. She’s irritable and always annoyed. And she takes it out on you. If this sounds familiar, then it probably means she is unhappy in the relationship and is thinking of leaving it entirely.

5. They talk about breaking up repeatedly

You might notice that your partner keeps bringing up the subject of ending the relationship. If a minor inconvenience occurs, they immediately try to break up with you. 

They’re just looking for attention and not a stable relationship, and this could be a sign someone is going to break up with you.

6. They stop responding to your texts

You can’t help but notice that they take a long time to reply or call you back. Not being able to get in touch with your partner can be frustrating — and a sign that something is going on with them.

If they are usually on their phone, texting other people, or posting on social media, but continue to ignore your texts and calls, it’s a sign of a breakup that will come soon enough. 

7. They’ve stopped paying you attention

The compliments are running low. Your partner no longer notices you and doesn’t seem to even care if you’re going through a hard time. There’s a disconnect, and you realize that your partner is indifferent about you lately. These could be signs he’s going to break up with you. 

8. They find fault in everything you do

Nothing you do for them (or even in your own life) is correct, according to your partner. They are constantly admonishing you, putting you down, or insulting your ability to do things right. This could be one of the signs of breaking up.

It could also be a sign that you’re in a relationship with a narcissist. Abandonment and manipulation are a common part of a narcissistic relationship cycle. This video goes into more detail about what the phases of a narcissistic relationship looks like:

10. They don’t like making future plans with you

A sign that she wants to end the relationship is if she gets hesitant about making any plans with you about your future, especially if they were excited about it in the beginning of the relationship. A sudden change in their views about the future could be among the signs a breakup is near. 

11. You’re both realizing you want different things

You might be asking yourself, “Are we going to break up” due to recent fights or realizations that you both want different things. If you and your partner are not ready to compromise or adapt to each other, then it could be a sign to break up.

12. They’re always on their phone

They come over to spend time with you but instead are on their phone the whole time or just slump down in front of the TV. 

If they are no longer paying attention to you or even trying to give you their time and energy, then it could be one of many break-up signs in a relationship. 

13. They make plans with other people

They are too busy to spend time with you, but they post pictures of parties with other people. This is one of the most telltale signs of a breakup drawing near. If this is getting more frequent, then it’s time to move on and realize that things have changed.

14. The sexual flame has burned out

Research shows that sex is an important part of a healthy relationship because it helps one meet their psychological needs within a marriage or partnership.

If you realize that your partner is getting reluctant to get in bed with you or no longer enjoys the things she once did, it could mean she wants to end the relationship and no longer feels invested in it.

15. They are being too formal around you

The casual intimacy and comfort level that was once a part of your relationship no longer exists. You’ve realized that your partner gets uncomfortable around you and no longer acts the way they used to. When casual, informal behavior goes out the window, so does the relationship.

16. There is a shift in priorities

In healthy relationships, partners need to make each other their number-one priority. The minute this stops happening foreshadows signs of break up. If you’ve noticed that he’s started to put his friends or work ahead of you, it could be one of many signs he wants to break up.

17. Your partner is starting to show interest in other people

One of the biggest signs of break up in the future is if your partner starts talking about other people they’re attracted to. This could be their way of subtly hinting that you should prepare for a breakup because they are looking for other people.

18. Your partner is unhappy

If you’ve noticed that your partner no longer laughs as much as they used to or no longer likes doing the things they once enjoyed, it could be because they are unhappy in the relationship. Depressed people are more likely to end their relationships than other people.

This article goes into more depth about how depression can influence breakups. Asking questions like “Are you breaking up because of your mental health or because you no longer want to be with me?” can help them distinguish their feelings before ending a relationship that could help them.

19. They don’t seem to enjoy spending time with you

If they are no longer excited to meet up with you and keep trying to find a reason to get out early, it could be a sign that something is wrong. 

If your partner doesn’t like spending time with you, it’s likely because something (or someone) is on their mind, and it is a sign of a breakup to come.

20. They’re always comparing you to other people

“She’s prettier than you”, and “Why can’t you be as relaxed as him?” — if these phrases sound familiar, then it could be possible that your partner is rethinking their decision to be with you. Comparing your partner to someone else is manipulative and spells a sign of breakup.

21. Trust your gut

How to know if someone is breaking up with you? More often than not, your instinct is telling you things to watch out for. If your gut is telling you that something is not right in your relationship, it could very well be a sign someone is going to break up with you.

22. Nostalgia for single life 

It reflects a longing for the freedoms and experiences of being unattached, often surfacing as a critical clue in how to tell if someone is breaking up with you. 

This reminiscence might manifest through verbal expressions or a desire to spend more time apart, highlighting one of the key signs to break up as individuals drift towards their personal interests over shared ones.

23. Less sharing 

Lack of sharing signifies a diminishing openness between partners, marking a profound shift in the relationship’s dynamics. When conversations about feelings, thoughts, and daily happenstances become scarce, it’s a strong indicator among signs of a relationship breakup. 

This reduction in emotional and informational exchange reveals a withdrawal from the relationship’s intimacy, underscoring the growing divide.

24. Seeking financial independence 

Personalizing one’s finances becomes a focal point when one partner starts to untangle their economic ties and responsibilities from the relationship, preparing for a future on their own. 

This move towards self-sufficiency is a clear signal among relationship breakup signs, suggesting a readiness to leave the shared dependency that characterizes a committed partnership. It underscores a significant step towards autonomy, often preceding the final discussions or decisions to end the relationship.

What to do when your partner seems on the verge of breaking up with you?

When your partner seems on the verge of breaking up with you, it’s crucial to approach the situation with calmness and openness. Initiating a candid conversation about your feelings and concerns can shed light on the underlying issues. 

Understanding and empathy are key; listen to their perspective without judgment or defensiveness. This is a moment for honesty and vulnerability from both sides, aiming to identify if there’s a mutual desire to work through the challenges or if it’s time to part ways respectfully.

• Communicate openly: Express your feelings and concerns without placing blame.
• Listen actively: Pay attention to their feelings and reasons, showing empathy and understanding.
• Seek to understand: Try to get to the root of the issues rather than focusing solely on the symptoms.
• Evaluate the relationship: Reflect on whether the relationship meets both your needs and desires.
• Consider counseling: Professional help can offer guidance and strategies to either mend or amicably end the relationship.
• Prepare for any outcome: Brace yourself emotionally for either working through the relationship or accepting its end.

FAQs

Understanding whether you’re facing a temporary rough patch or standing on the brink of a breakup is crucial. Here are some FAQs to help guide you through this challenging time, offering insights and actionable steps.

• How can I tell if these signs are just temporary issues or indicative of a real breakup?

Look for patterns over time. Temporary issues often come with stressors that eventually pass, and you’ll see efforts from both sides to improve the situation. Real breakup signs persist, showing a consistent withdrawal and lack of effort to resolve underlying issues.

• What should I do if I suspect my partner is about to break up with me?

Initiate an open, honest conversation about your feelings and observations. Express your concerns without blame and ask them about their feelings. Communication is key to understanding each other’s perspectives and addressing any issues head-on.

• Is there any way to salvage a relationship on the brink of a breakup?

Yes, if both partners are willing to put in the effort. This could involve seeking couples counseling, spending quality time together to reconnect, actively listening to each other’s needs, and compromising. Salvaging a relationship requires mutual dedication to healing and growth.

• How can I cope with the emotional pain of a potential breakup?

Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a listening ear and guidance. Engaging in self-care activities and hobbies that bring you joy can also help in managing emotional pain.

• When is it time to let go of a relationship that’s not working?

It’s time to let go when the relationship causes more pain than happiness, when fundamental needs and values no longer align, or when efforts to improve the situation have consistently failed. Trusting your intuition and acknowledging when you’re holding onto something that’s already gone is crucial.

• Where can I find resources or support to deal with a difficult breakup?

Many resources are available, including therapy, support groups (both online and in-person), self-help books on coping with breakups, and articles from reputable mental health websites. Friends and family can also be a source of comfort and support during this time.

Know where you’re headed

Dr. Jennifer Jacobsen, Ph.D., a professor who teaches courses in family counseling, explains,

Sometimes a breakup isn’t a bad thing. Leaving a relationship that isn’t working opens the door for self-growth and may even lead you to your lifelong partner.  If you’re having trouble knowing when to end a bad relationship, it may be time to seek counseling to help you sort out your feelings.

You could notice just one or many of these signs. Being mentally and emotionally prepared for a breakup can help you stay strong and realize what the best course of action should be ahead. 

Sometimes, breakups happen for the best overall scenario, so knowing where your relationship is heading can be helpful.