10 Key Ways to Protect Your Heart in a Relationship

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When it comes to any type of relationship, you may find that you must protect your heart. 

This is especially important when it comes to getting to know new people, whether you are looking for new friends or a new partner. Keep reading for more information on how to guard your heart.

What does “guard your heart” mean in a relationship?

In any relationship, there is a chance that you could get hurt. After all, not all relationships last. This is why you have to protect yourself or guard your heart. 

The guard your heart meaning pertains to doing your best to make sure that your heart doesn’t become broken when you are searching for a new relationship.

One way to do this is to make sure that you aren’t isolating yourself. Be sure to talk to family members and friends that you trust, who will be able to give you the best advice when it comes to dating and following your heart.

When you don’t guard your heart, you may end up getting hurt. Research from 2021 shows that you may have memory issues after a breakup, in addition to the other feelings you will experience. You likely want to avoid this when it is possible to do so.

10 key ways to protect your heart in a relationship

Anytime you are wondering, “How I am going to go about protecting my heart,” you can think of these ways to help you feel more secure.

1. Love yourself

One of the first things you should remember when it comes to how to protect your heart in a relationship is to love yourself. 

If you don’t love yourself and have the self-esteem to know that you deserve to be happy and respected by your mate, this could cause you to feel bad about yourself if the relationship doesn’t work out the way you expected it to.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, says,

You may even start to self-sabotage, which won’t help the relationship or any future relationships.

When you want to learn to love yourself more, the first step is being nice to yourself. Do things that are just for you and make you feel better. 

Buy yourself that new sweater you want, or stop by your favorite coffee shop. Try to make yourself smile once a day. It is okay to spoil yourself a little bit.

2. Be true to your expectations

Something else that you need to think about when you wish to protect your heart is to figure out what you expect in a potential mate or relationship. In other words, it is okay to know what you want when it comes to your relationship.

Once you determine what you expect, it is fine to talk to a partner about these things. You should tell them what your expectations are and allow them to tell you what theirs are as well. Together you can determine if these things mesh well with each other.

In some cases, you may want the same things or be able to work out compromises. 

On the other hand, if you don’t seem to be compatible based on your expectations for one another, this is something that may be a cause for concern and must be addressed.

Related Reading: 5 Glaring Facts About Expectations in a Relationship

3. Take your time dating

Anytime you need to know how to protect your heart emotionally, you should think about taking your time when it comes to dating. Even if you start to like someone right away, it is okay to take it slow

If you end up moving too fast, you could get into a relationship that isn’t for you or that you don’t want in the first place. 

Instead, take the time you need to get to know a person, so you can determine what you like and dislike about them before you become serious about them.

Maggie Martinez adds,

If you are with the right person, you won’t need to rush anything.

Related Reading: How to Date Someone: 15 Best Dating Rules & Tips

4. Don’t seem too eager

Do your best not to seem too eager as well. When you are dating someone, whether you really like them or not, it is important not to seem too eager to date them. 

This could make the other party feel like they can do whatever they want and that you will still want to be in a relationship with them.

You don’t want to set yourself up to get hurt. Instead, try to keep your emotions close to you, so your potential partner doesn’t know the extent of your feelings about them until you are sure that you can trust them.

If they want to be serious about you and then talk to you about it earnestly, you can tell them that you feel the same way.

5. Find someone you care about

When you are able to take your time dating and finding a person that you care about, this may make it easier in terms of guarding your heart. This is because you could be able to better find someone that you care about and want to plan a future with.

If you rush into a relationship with an individual that you aren’t sure if you care about or not, there’s a better chance that you may get hurt. 

Again, it is important to take your time when you are looking for people that you want to continue to date or build a relationship with.

6. Don’t ignore deal breakers

Yet another reason you may not want to rush through the getting-to-know-someone process when it comes to protecting your heart is so that you aren’t ignoring deal breakers.

Giving yourself the proper time to get to know more about a person can help you become more aware of when they do things that are deal breakers or red flags for you. 

Maggie Martinez comments,

When you’re in a new relationship, it’s easy to ignore red flags. Pay attention to what friends are saying to you, too!

For instance, if you are interested in getting married and they consistently talk about never getting married, this is something that you should take note of.

You should not ignore these things since they may be long-lasting problems in your relationship if you end up dating this person.

7. Listen to your partner

Listening to what your partner is saying goes along with not ignoring deal breakers. For instance, if they keep saying that they don’t want to have kids, but you do, this is exactly what they mean.

You may not want to try to change their mind or hopefully consider having kids with you one day, but if they seem to be against it, you shouldn’t try to change their minds. This could lead to you getting hurt in the long run.

Essentially, when your mate or someone you are starting to get serious with is telling you about them as a person, it is best to believe them. At this point, they know themselves more than you do. 

While you can be optimistic that they may change their views on certain things, you should understand that you don’t know if this will happen.

Related Reading: 4 Tips to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship- Why It Matters

8. Be realistic

While it is okay to be optimistic when you are dating, it is also necessary to be realistic. All the people that you meet won’t end up being your perfect match. This is another reason why you must have expectations and rules when it comes to your relationships.

Even when you get down on yourself waiting for a nice mate to come around if you remember that it may take a lot of work to find someone that is just for you, try to keep the faith. Your match is out there, and there’s a good chance that you will be able to find them.

9. Remember what you like

As you are dating, you should continue to keep a clear picture of who you are and what you like. If you start to change the things you like based on who you are dating at the time, this could leave you wondering who you are if a breakup happens.

It is fine to like new things that your partner may expose you to, but you should also try not to change too much about yourself while you are dating someone, especially if it is a new relationship. 

This is a worthwhile technique when you are thinking, I should keep protecting my heart in a relationship.

10. Don’t isolate yourself

You should try not to isolate yourself in any relationship. This is something that could end up becoming a bad situation. Instead, keep appointments with your friends and family, and make sure you keep your support system close.

When you are able to do this, you can talk to your loved ones about what is going on in your life, and they will be able to offer their advice and point of view on the matter. 

This could also help you remember who you are so you don’t lose too much of yourself in a relationship.

Moreover, it is healthy to keep your autonomy when you are dating someone or even when you are married. This means that both you and your mate are allowed to have your own activities that you can take part in.

Perhaps your partner likes to take part in online gaming, and you like to visit with your co-workers after work. You should both be able to do these things.

For more details about protecting yourself from heartbreak, check out this video:

How do you control a broken heart in a relationship?

If you want to know how to protect your heart when dating, this generally comes down to putting less emphasis on your relationship until you are sure that your mate is someone you see yourself with in the future.

One way to make sure you aren’t putting too much of yourself into your relationship is to stay distracted. A 2018 study indicates that staying distracted can help you worry less about your partner or ex-partner.

To stay distracted, you should take steps to hang out with friends and have your own hobbies or interests to spend your time doing. In other words, you won’t need to spend time with your partner only; you will have activities you can do without them.

How do you end a relationship without breaking your heart?

When the time comes to ending the relationship, there’s a chance that it can make you experience symptoms of depression, no matter what the circumstances are. However, there are a couple of ways to guard and protect your heart when you are ending a relationship.

One is that you should be sure that this is the best course of action. If you and your partner are not compatible or you want different things, this could be a sign that your relationship isn’t viable.

Maggie Martinez further says,

Not everyone is going to be a perfect match for you. However, the right one will come along when you aren’t busy spending time with someone who is wrong.

Another way to consider when you are trying not to break your heart after a breakup is to take advantage of relationship counseling. 

This could allow you and your partner to be able to work out your issues, or it could help you work through your breakup with a professional therapist. They can talk to you more about how to protect your heart in all types of scenarios.

Takeaway

There’s always a chance that you may have your heart broken when you are in a relationship. However, there are ways to protect your heart at times. One way that you should especially consider is taking your time getting to know someone before becoming serious about them.

Not every person you meet will be the one for you. Pay attention to what they are actually saying, which can give you an indication of who they are and if you will be compatible with them.

Also, consider the expectations you have for a relationship and be true to them. You owe it to yourself to get what you want out of any relationship you spend your time in.

Finally, when you feel like you need to, keep your support system close to you for advice and support when you need it the most. You can also count on a therapist if this is something you are interested in. 

They may be able to help you find out more about how to keep your heart from being broken and the steps you need to take to do so.