Platonic Relationship: Everything You Need To Know

The definition of a platonic relationship is very interesting and also very beautiful. Imagine having someone who is loyal to you, loves you, and will be there to listen and support you.

Does it sound too good to be true, right? Then, the sexual aspect that we usually know doesn’t belong to this equation. If you think it’s too good to be true, then you’d be happy to know that it exists.

Imagine the beauty of selfless love, security, peace, and without sexual involvement. That’s what we’re focusing on, so let’s begin.

What is a platonic relationship?

What is a platonic relationship? The concept of platonic relationships is very intriguing to explain.

The basic human need is to connect with another human.

Platonic bonding is a purely spiritual and emotional connection with no sexual intimacy. This kind of relationship can pave a way to know yourself even deeper.

It involves honesty, loyalty, and a super-deep connection without the heat of sexual tension. There are many reasons why would anyone choose to have a platonic relationship.

Types of platonic relationships

Now that you know the meaning of platonic relationship, it’s time to familiarize ourselves with the different types.

1. Bromance

As the word describes it, bromance is a very close relationship with love and affection between two adult men. Who don’t have any romantic or sexual attraction for each other.

2. Womance 

Is this the first time you’ve heard about womance? It’s just the same with the term bromance. It’s an affectionate and strong bond between women that don’t have any sexual or romantic interest for each other.

3. Work partner or work spouse

This is where two people who work in the same field or company develop a close bond. In their workplace, they seem to be a married couple, often supporting and needing each other. However, they don’t have any sexual or romantic feelings for each other.

Does this type of relationship possible or even acceptable? Let’s dig in further.

5 benefits of platonic relationships

Being in a platonic relationship can be one of the most beautiful experiences that you can have in your lifetime. It will make you think how could a relationship like this be possible?

Pondering about platonic relationship meaning and its benefits? Let’s check out some benefits of developing a platonic relationship with someone.

1. You can be yourself

Do you know what makes platonic love so beautiful? It’s because you can truly be yourself and not worry about creating the perfect persona.

Most people, who have romantic people towards someone, would try to change themselves, create a unique personality so they can impress.

However, this can be tiring, and overtime, you just want to be your real self, which you can do in a platonic relationship.

It’s that feeling of security that they accept you for who you are. You can be yourself and know that this person accepts you as a whole.

2. You can enjoy an honest connection

If you can be yourself in a platonic relationship, it would be the same for the other person.

You gradually build an honest connection where you can just pour yourself without worrying about judgment. You feel at ease to share your thoughts, feelings, problems, and even your funny and quirky side.

According to LMHC Grady Shumway,

When you can be yourself in a platonic relationship, it fosters a deep and honest connection. Both of you will feel comfortable sharing your true thoughts, feelings, and quirks without fear of judgment, creating a relationship built on genuine understanding and trust.

If you and this person can communicate honestly and never hold back, can you imagine what type of relationship you are going to build?

3. You enjoy the love and care

In a platonic relationship, you both love each other unconditionally, without the need to impress, set rules, and feel pressure.

When you feel this type of love, you will also enjoy the many health benefits that it can give.

Stronger immunity, fewer chances of getting depressed, less stress are just among the many benefits of platonic love.

Aside from that, you also enjoy great emotional support, have someone who will support you and someone who will listen to you.

4. Less drama and stress

We all know that when you are in a romantic relationship, you have rules, many of them, in fact.

There are also times where extreme emotions such as jealousy and insecurities cloud our judgment, thus leading to fights and misunderstandings.

This makes the relationship toxic, filled with drama and stress. Until one day, you just get tired and you no longer feel happy. In a platonic love, you love unconditionally, and you’re not romantically involved.

There is no drama, no rules, broken expectations, and the feeling of insecurity, thus, making it more peaceful and satisfactory.

What is relationship drama and how can you break away from it? 

Alan Robage, an Attachment Trauma Therapist, explains everything about anxious attachment and to break away from your relationship drama:

5. You don’t need labels

It’s true, isn’t it? In romantic relationships, you have to think about your stages and labels. You date, decide to be in a relationship, move in together, get engaged, and then get married.

In a platonic relationship, you don’t have to worry about stages like these. You either unconditionally love each other, or you don’t. Labels don’t matter because what matters is your love and respect for each other.

5 signs of platonic relationship

Do you want to know if you already have a platonic girlfriend or boyfriend? You might already be in a platonic relationship and without you realizing it.

It’s that feeling that you don’t need a romantic relationship because you feel you’re happy, supported, and loved.

If you think you are already in a platonic relationship, then read the other signs below.

1. You’re really close

Closeness is definitely one of the most obvious signs of a platonic relationship. You love being together, sharing the most intimate details, and you even have so many things in common.

You’re really close with each other and can spend the whole day together without being romantic.

2. You accept each other wholeheartedly

Do you accept each other wholeheartedly? Do you listen to each other without judgment?

Platonic relationship is all about acceptance. It’s all about loving the person for who they are, without malice, without conditions, and without judgment. Overall, there is security when you’re together.

There’s deep respect for each other, not just as a person, but also for their beliefs, virtues, and opinions in life.

3. You understand each other

It’s really hard to find someone who can love you for who you are, and if this person also understands you, then that’s a big bonus.

You will feel it. When you share your thoughts and opinions, this person listens intently and connects with you. They understand, show empathy, and don’t invalidate your feelings.

This is a really good sign that you’ve developed a platonic love for each other.

4. You’re honest with each other

Can you be honest with each other, even if it means telling them they are wrong? In some relationships or friendships, some can’t be brutally honest with the other.

They are afraid that they could offend or their honesty be taken into a different light. However, if you are in a platonic relationship, you don’t need to be scared about being honest.

In fact, both of you treasure this aspect of your relationship. You accept if they correct you, tell you if you’re going too far and so much more.

You communicate honestly and openly because you want the best for each other and that’s the love you share.

Related Reading: Why Honesty in a Relationship Is So Important

5. You think you’re soulmates

When we say soulmates, most of us think of romantic relationship, but in fact, soulmates aren’t just destined to be lovers.

A soulmate could be anyone in your life with whom you share a special and deep connection with.

It could be your spouse, your brother, sister, or your best friend.

If you and your special someone share a deep connection with each other without the sexual or romantic aspect, then you might be soulmates.

What are the rules of a platonic relationship?

There are no definite or strict rules for platonic relationships, as they can vary depending on the individuals involved and their unique circumstances.

However, there are some basic platonic relationship rules that can help maintain a healthy and respectful platonic relationship:

1. Flirting is out

Most people think that flirting is unavoidable or is just harmless fun, but even a little flirting in an honest platonic relationship could create a problem.

Flirting may look harmless, but it can change your good relationship. The other person may get confused, feel uneasy, or think that they have to reciprocate the mixed signals you’re showing. 

No matter how subtle, flirting can stain your pure friendship.

2. Respect each other’s partners

Can there be platonic love between two friends even if they are already committed? Well, the answer is yes. It’s possible, but it’s important to know your limitations.

Even if you’re romantically or sexually involved, it’s still a must for the both of you to know how to respect each other’s partners.

It’s true. Even today, people are skeptical about whether platonic love can exist outside a marriage. It can be tricky.

We believe that if you respect your spouse and set boundaries with your partner in a platonic relationship, you can have both. You can still maintain your platonic love while being married.

If there is a problem between the couple, avoid being involved too much. It’s better if they could undergo couples therapy.

3. Establish clear boundaries

Do you know the boundaries of platonic friendship? These boundaries will actually depend on your situation. Different situations need distinct sets of boundaries.

You can set healthy boundaries about situations that could put the both of you in a compromising situation. For example, you can’t plan a night out for just the two of you to watch movies and drink some beers.

These situations could be tricky as they could kindle deeper emotions such as romance. Learn to treat each other with respect and consideration, just as you would in any other relationship.

Related Reading: 15 Ways of Setting Boundaries in a New Relationship

4. Avoid possessiveness and jealousy

Platonic relationship is usually healthy, and that is why it’s so beautiful. However, if someone becomes possessive or feels jealousy, even though it’s not a romantic relationship, it could turn sour.

Some people develop jealousy over work, other friends, or the romantic partner. This can cause them to be possessive, demanding, and toxic.

These negative emotions, which shouldn’t be present in a platonic relationship, can cause their pure friendship to deteriorate and fall apart.

5. Don’t act like a couple

When you’re being treated right, respected, and supported to, you can’t help but value this person. However, this could sometimes get out of hand and could easily cross the healthy boundaries that were set.

Don’t act as a couple. Don’t do things that could compromise your platonic relationship, especially when this person already has a romantic partner.

For example, don’t start calling in the middle of the night or sending cute good morning/evening message.

Difference between platonic relationship vs. romantic relationship

Many will think that the signs of platonic relationships look like the ideal setup for a romantic relationship, yet they are so different with each other.

Let’s check out the five key differences of platonic and romantic relationships.

1. Romantic attraction

Platonic relationships lack romantic attraction. It’s one of the most significant differences between platonic and romantic relationships. Romantic relationships involve the feelings of infatuation, love, passion, and even lust.

While in platonic relationships, the connection between two people is actually based on honest friendship with deep emotional intimacy with no romantic or sexual attraction.

2. Physical and sexual intimacy

Typically, when you are in a platonic relationship, there’s physical affection involved. There’s hugging and even holding hands. Most of the time, people in platonic relationships show their care and love through deep conversations and support.

With romantic relationships, it’s there is a deeper sense of physical intimacy between the couple. Usually, sexual intimacy is present alongside physical intimacy. There’s hugging, kissing, and making love.

There’s also that deep need to act out of these physical and sexual intimacy between people who are romantically in love. It’s their way of showing how much they love each other.

3. Commitment and Labels

When you’re in a romantic relationship, labels and commitment are very important. This makes sure that you and your partner are loyal with each other and you know where you stand in this person’s life.

Anyone who is in a romantic relationship would want to make their labels and commitment clear. Are you together? Are you exclusively dating? After spending years together, should you get married?

These are just some of the commitment and labels that a romantic couple would think about. It’s definitely different with a platonic relationship where there is no label, no commitment other than friendship and closeness.

You’re friends, you support each other, be there when you need each other, and that’s it. There’s no pressure about labels or commitments.

4. Emotional intensity

As expected, romantic couples typically involve a higher degree of emotional intensity and a deeper emotional bond. From dating, being in a relationship, to marriage, the two people involved will have goals in their relationship.

Together, they would also build emotional intimacy together. Learning how to live together, solve problems together, and grow together.

In a platonic relationship, the emotional bond is present, but it might not grow compared to romantic relationships.

Grady Shumway states that,

Romantic relationships usually involve greater emotional intensity and deeper bonds as couples navigate shared goals and build emotional intimacy. In contrast, while platonic relationships also have emotional connections, they generally don’t reach the same depth or growth as romantic ones.

5. Expectations

Of course, when you are in a romantic relationship, this often involves expectations of fidelity, honesty, emotional support, and long-term commitment, and so much more.

Platonic relationships are more flexible when it comes to expectations. Aside from different expectations, platonic love can only focus on honesty and support.

In a platonic relationship, there may be less pressure to spend all your time together, share your deepest secrets, or make grand romantic gestures. It’s more chill and easy compared to romantic relationships.

Related Reading: 5 Glaring Facts About Expectations in a Relationship

5 tips for a healthy platonic relationship

A healthy platonic relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and communication. It involves genuine care for the other person’s well-being and the ability to set boundaries and respect them.

Here are some tips to maintain a happy platonic relationship.

1. Learn to set boundaries.

Boundaries will keep your platonic relationship healthy and long lasting. Know what you can and cannot do in this type of friendship. It will also help the both of you establish mutual respect with each other.

What if you are already in a relationship?

The most important thing is to set boundaries with your partner, in case you are already married or in a relationship.

You must be open and honest about what is ok and what is not ok. Some partners may have issues with touching and some may not consider it offensive. This requires understanding what your partner likes and doesn’t like.

You probably don’t want to show too much physical affection while in a platonic bonding. You should perhaps consider separate rooms when traveling for example.

2. Communicate clearly and honestly

Communication and honesty are crucial.

This would be one of your assets as friends. Ensure that you will keep your deep communication alive and that you will always be honest with each other. No judgment, no pretentions, and no secrets.

This will also be a treat tool if one or both of you are already committed with another person.

Listen to your spouse first and try to understand if you are pushing their buttons. People are fragile and you don’t want to “rock the boat” too hard.

Communicate with your platonic life partner as well. Explain any issue or consequences your platonic love can have on your married life.

Related Reading: 10 Reasons Why Communication in Marriage Is Important

3. Be there for each other

Like any other connections that we build, platonic relationships work both ways. Sure, you might enjoy having a support system, having a person to call when you need someone to talk to, but do you also do the same?

Make sure that it works both ways. Be there for each other, respect and support one another and most of all, make each other feel that you’re not alone.

4. Don’t be possessive

If you have a platonic relationship, that’s amazing. However, let us not forget that too much can cause possessiveness and even jealousy.

Don’t ruin something beautiful by being possessive or get clouded by jealousy.

Sometimes, we get used to the attention, support, and unconditional love that we receive. This can cause you to become possessive because you don’t want other people to be too close with your friend.

Overtime, these behaviors are exactly what can cause your platonic relationship to deteriorate.

5. Accept possibilities of tension

In the beginning of your platonic relationship, it’s also good to talk about the possibility of tension in your relationship.

It could happen, so you might as well be ready when the time comes that you might feel a crush on your friend. While it’s possible to avoid it, it still gives your friendship that sense of uneasiness and awkwardness.

To avoid this, include rules like no flirting, no to too much touches, and don’t go to couple-like dates or any situation that can lead to anyone of you to feel vulnerable.

Some more relevant questions

In this section, we’re trying to cover frequently asked questions on platonic relationships. In this guide, we’ll address common questions about platonic relationships, including what they are, how to maintain them, and more.

• Is a platonic relationship good?

Yes! Platonic relationships can be very beneficial for the both of you. Platonic relationships can be deeply fulfilling, as it could provide emotional intimacy, companionship, honest friendship, and support without the pressure of romantic or sexual expectations.

It’s a breath of fresh air in the usual romantic relationships that we have. In fact, many people have long-lasting and meaningful platonic relationships that bring joy, comfort, and meaning to their lives, and all of which have no romantic or sexual aspect to it.

Of course, like any relationship, if you want a long-lasting platonic relationship, both friends require effort, communication, and mutual respect to thrive.

• Can you marry someone platonically?

“Can a platonic relationship turn romantic?”

Yes, it is possible for a platonic relationship to turn romantic. There’s nothing wrong with this as long as they are both available.

It’s a good way to start a romantic relationship, especially if both individuals have a strong emotional connection and a sense of compatibility.

However, it’s important to note that they should not enter a platonic relationship, intending to turn it into a romantic relationship.

Platonic or not, a relationship can be beautiful

The point of our life journey is to know ourselves better and it happens through connections.

There are many ways on how to make a platonic relationship work. Choose the solution that fits you and your life situation the most.

Remember that life is about constant growth through challenging experiences.