20 Subtle Signs He Is Confused About His Feelings for You
Is he really into you? Are there signs he is confused about his feelings? Are you reading the signs wrong? What if he genuinely isn’t interested? These are unsettling questions, right?
One day he’s head over heels for you and acts indifferent the next. How to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you isn’t that simple.
You start to ask yourself many questions and take ‘Is he confused about his feelings for me’ quizzes online to figure things out.
Not knowing where he stands makes you anxious. You wonder if there is something you can do to get a clear answer.
Well, in this article, we’re going to talk about the reasons why a guy might be confused about his feelings for you and what you can do about it, along with the signs that a guy is hiding his true feelings from you.
What does it mean when a guy seems to be confused about his feelings for you?
Do you complain, “He acts different when we are alone,” Or “He makes me feel confused about his feelings for me.”? You need to focus on all these signs he is confused about his feelings and decide accordingly.
Before you can do anything about it, you need to figure out what his confusion truly means. Here’s what it might mean:
- He’s perplexed and can’t figure out how he feels about you.
- He’s probably going through a difficult time in his life.
- He doesn’t know how to deal with the feelings he has for you.
- He might have a commitment phobia.
- He might have been hurt before and doesn’t want to be in that position again.
- You might be unknowingly giving him mixed signals.
- He’s probably unsure about what he wants.
- They may have feelings for somebody else.
20 ways to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you
There are a plethora of subtle signs he is confused about his feelings and is giving out mixed signals.
To better see what you’re up against, let’s look at some ways to learn how to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you:
1. He stares at you but looks away when your eyes meet
On and off eye contact instances are common signs he is confused about his feelings.
When a man is into you, it’s normal for him to look at you whenever you’re around. But he might not feel comfortable letting you know his true feelings for you yet.
Hence you might catch him looking at you a little too often, but he looks away as soon as you look at him.
2. He might get close to you and pull away suddenly
Tread carefully when you notice these signs he is confused about his feelings. This could actually be one of the signs he changed his mind about you recently.
When you two are around each other, he’ll find excuses to get close to you. You two might even get too caught up in the moment that he might lean towards you to kiss you.
But that’s where he’ll draw the line when he’s catching feelings for you but isn’t ready to move it forward.
3. He is all over your social media
Isn’t this the safest option to find out about someone’s likes and dislikes these days? Social media can clear out the signs he is confused about his feelings if you pay attention.
Even though he wants to play it cool and acts like he isn’t paying that much attention to you, a guy will go through all your social media posts when he likes you.
He might not like or comment on your posts because he doesn’t want you to know that he’s catching feelings for you. Or he might just send heart, wink, or blushing emojis to let you feel their presence without being too obvious.
4. His body language says that he’s into you, but he doesn’t admit it
No matter how many signs he is confused about his feelings are there and how well he tries to hide them, his body language will reveal his true feelings. Is he unusually nervous when you two are alone?
If he keeps fixing his hair, touches his face a lot, and gets fidgety, it’s because he likes you. Read the male body language that he wants you, and there, you’ll have the answer.
5. He goes hot and cold all the time
When a man is confused about his feelings and is showing signs he is confused about his feelings, his behavior might be erratic.
He might make you feel desired and give you all his attention during the ‘hot’ phase. Then he may pull away just like that and act cold when he feels like he’s catching feelings for you.
6. He seems protective of you
Even though he may not admit it if asked, a guy will protect you if he likes you. No matter if you’re around or not, he’ll defend your name in a heartbeat. He’ll try to make sure you get home safe if it’s late at night.
But thank him for being there for you. He may tell you that it’s nothing, and he’d do the same for anybody. He can’t help protect you because he likes you, but since he’s confused in love, he may act like he doesn’t care that much.
7. He balances a compliment with a tease
He might stare at you and say that you look incredible when you catch him staring. But he doesn’t want to make his feelings obvious, so he’ll instantly crack a joke or start teasing you.
He doesn’t mean to offend you in any way, though.
8. Your conversations just suddenly die
Do you often get to a point when there are signs he wants to confess his feelings, but nothing happens?
Be it texting or talking in person, if a guy suddenly starts acting distant in the middle of a great conversation, it may be one of the signs he is fighting his feelings for you. He doesn’t want to let you know how he genuinely feels.
So, he just stops texting or talking the moment his confusion hits. He may casually text you after a few hours and go silent once you reply. It might make you wonder if he has ghosted you. Then he’d come back and start acting like he never really left abruptly.
9. He acts differently when you’re in a group setting
When a man is confused about what he wants in a relationship, he may act weirdly different with other people around.
It should be your first sign if you are looking for an answer to how to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you.
He might be flirting with you or showing signs of attraction when you two are alone. But the moment there are other people around, he may seem like a different person.
If he treats you like he’s treating all the other girls there, it’s one of the signs he is fighting his feelings for you.
10. He finds ways to spend time together but doesn’t ask you out on a date
When a man is confused about what he wants but still wants to see you and spend time with you, he might invite you to hang out with his friends or go to the movies.
But since he is confused about his feelings, he might not ask you out for a drink or take you to watch a movie alone.
11. He denies it when others talk about the chemistry you two have
You should be careful here as it can be one of the signs he has feelings for another woman or maybe no feelings at all.
If you two have intense chemistry, it’s only natural that people around you will be able to feel that. But he won’t admit that and will laugh it off if anyone ever mentions that you two would make a great couple.
They’ll get uncomfortable if the subject comes up and says that you’re just friends/colleagues, even though he frequently shows signs he is secretly attracted to you.
12. He gets jealous but tries to hide it
If you’re asking yourself, ‘How do I know if a guy likes me’ or ‘Does he have feelings for me,’ see how a guy reacts when you talk about another guy you like.
If he gets jealous and gives you reasons why you shouldn’t be with that person, it might be because he secretly wants you for himself.
If you aren’t sure about his jealousy, watch this helpful video to gain more insight:
13. His actions don’t match his words
‘Is he fighting his feelings for me?’ you ask. Pay attention and see if he says and does the same thing or not.
He might tell you that you’re the prettiest girl alive and any guy would be lucky to have you, but he won’t ask you out on a date and act indifferent the next day.
14. He wants you to notice him but doesn’t seem to know what to do after that
He tries his best to be attractive around you and dresses well to impress you.
He might tell you things like how much he works out and the new car he’s got. While it might come off as bragging, he’s just trying to get your attention.
When he gets the attention, he doesn’t know how to proceed further, and the conversation dies suddenly.
15. He doesn’t seem to pay attention but remembers every little thing about you
Even though he shows so many signs that he is confused about his feelings and tries to hide them by acting aloof, he does pay attention to whatever you say.
He tends to remember anything from the way you like your coffee to how your childhood was.
16. He asks you lots of personal questions
He sure doesn’t want to commit yet, but he can’t help asking questions to get to know you better. He isn’t a cat person but seems smitten like a kitten about your cat.
It’s because he secretly likes you but doesn’t want to let you know yet.
17. He tries to make you jealous
If he mentions other women while he isn’t actively seeing anyone at the moment, it might be because he wants to make you jealous.
He wants to know how you feel about his attraction to other women. It’s one of the signs that a guy is hiding his true feelings for you.
18. He makes sure you know that he isn’t seeing anybody
While some guys might try to make you jealous when they secretly like you, others may go out of their way to make sure you know that they aren’t pursuing anybody and are single at the moment.
If you see him talking to anybody, they clarify that he isn’t romantically interested in that person.
19. His friends want to know about your love life
How to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you?
If his friends are suddenly interested to know if you’re dating anyone at the moment or what you think of their friend, it’s because they’re trying to get information from you to help him decide what to do.
20. He is inconsistent
One way to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you is when he finally asks you out on a date and he tries to keep it casual.
He might text you that he had fun but doesn’t ask you out on a second date after that, leaving you wondering if he is still interested.
What to do when a guy is confused about his feelings?
It depends. How do you feel about him? If you don’t like him romantically, it doesn’t matter if he’s confused about his feelings for you or not.
But if you do like him, here are a few things you can do about it.
1. Openly talk to him
It’s a good idea to let the guy know about your feelings. He might’ve been fighting his feelings due to their fear of being rejected. Either way, open communication is always a solid start.
2. Give him time and space
Try not to make him feel like he has to decide right away. Maybe some time to think is all he needs.
Meanwhile, you can give him some space and a chance to miss you. Let him figure out what he truly wants. Don’t panic if he takes longer than you’d imagined.
3. Reassure him
Let him know that you understand that he isn’t ready yet. Don’t put pressure on him or try to make him fall in love with you.
It’s better if he comes up with his own decision. While he’s taking his time, keep your cool and make sure to take care of yourself.
However, you can’t wait indefinitely for him to make a decision. So, if he still seems confused after giving him enough time, you may create some distance and move on.
Clearing the confusion
If a guy is confused about his feelings for you and taking their time to move forward, it might feel uncomfortable. Nevertheless, it’s also an opportunity to explore what a potentially deeper connection might look like.
You never know what might happen, including your own feelings, if you don’t give it a go and talk to him.
Why would he ask me to stop texting him but still say everything is fine?
Christiana Njoku
Licensed Professional Counselor
Expert Answer
If he claims everything is okay, but still wants you to stop texting, it's probably he's sending unclear messages.. This behavior that seems contradictory might suggest he's feeling overwhelmed, in need of some alone time, trying to dodge conflict or awkward discussions, or uncertain about his emotions or dedication. To make things clearer, ask him open-ended questions like "What's troubling you?" or "How can I help?" and look for clear reasons behind his request. Additionally, check if his actions match his words. It's important to respect his boundaries while making sure your emotional needs are met and to assess if this relationship is good for you. Unclear communication can be damaging, so think about what's best for you. Ensure your son's physical and emotional well-being and create a safe space for him to express his feelings. If violence or intense anger persists, prioritize your family's emotional safety by considering temporary separation. while prioritizing your well-being, seek counseling and join support groups because you can't do this alone.
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