20 Subtle Signs He Is Confused About His Feelings for You

Is he really into you? Are there signs he is confused about his feelings? Are you reading the signs wrong? What if he genuinely isn’t interested? These are unsettling questions, right?

One day he’s head over heels for you and acts indifferent the next. How to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you isn’t that simple.

You start to ask yourself many questions and take ‘Is he confused about his feelings for me’ quizzes online to figure things out.

Not knowing where he stands makes you anxious. You wonder if there is something you can do to get a clear answer.

Well, in this article, we’re going to talk about the reasons why a guy might be confused about his feelings for you and what you can do about it, along with the signs that a guy is hiding his true feelings from you.

What does it mean when a guy seems to be confused about his feelings for you?

Do you complain, “He acts different when we are alone,” Or “He makes me feel confused about his feelings for me.”? You need to focus on all these signs he is confused about his feelings and decide accordingly.

Before you can do anything about it, you need to figure out what his confusion truly means. Here’s what it might mean:

• He’s perplexed and can’t figure out how he feels about you.
• He’s probably going through a difficult time in his life.
• He doesn’t know how to deal with the feelings he has for you. 
• He might have a commitment phobia.
• He might have been hurt before and doesn’t want to be in that position again.
• You might be unknowingly giving him mixed signals.
• He’s probably unsure about what he wants.
• They may have feelings for somebody else.

20 ways to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you

There are a plethora of subtle signs he is confused about his feelings and is giving out mixed signals.

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To better see what you’re up against, let’s look at some ways to learn how to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you:

1. He stares at you but looks away when your eyes meet

On and off eye contact instances are common signs he is confused about his feelings.

When a man is into you, it’s normal for him to look at you whenever you’re around. But he might not feel comfortable letting you know his true feelings for you yet.

Hence you might catch him looking at you a little too often, but he looks away as soon as you look at him.

2. He might get close to you and pull away suddenly

Tread carefully when you notice these signs he is confused about his feelings. This could actually be one of the signs he changed his mind about you recently. 

When you two are around each other, he’ll find excuses to get close to you. You two might even get too caught up in the moment that he might lean towards you to kiss you.

But that’s where he’ll draw the line when he’s catching feelings for you but isn’t ready to move it forward.

3. He is all over your social media

Isn’t this the safest option to find out about someone’s likes and dislikes these days? Social media can clear out the signs he is confused about his feelings if you pay attention.

Even though he wants to play it cool and acts like he isn’t paying that much attention to you, a guy will go through all your social media posts when he likes you.

He might not like or comment on your posts because he doesn’t want you to know that he’s catching feelings for you. Or he might just send heart, wink, or blushing emojis to let you feel their presence without being too obvious. 

4. His body language says that he’s into you, but he doesn’t admit it

No matter how many signs he is confused about his feelings are there and how well he tries to hide them, his body language will reveal his true feelings. Is he unusually nervous when you two are alone?

If he keeps fixing his hair, touches his face a lot, and gets fidgety, it’s because he likes you. Read the male body language that he wants you, and there, you’ll have the answer.

5. He goes hot and cold all the time

When a man is confused about his feelings and is showing signs he is confused about his feelings, his behavior might be erratic.

He might make you feel desired and give you all his attention during the ‘hot’ phase. Then he may pull away just like that and act cold when he feels like he’s catching feelings for you.

6. He seems protective of you

Even though he may not admit it if asked, a guy will protect you if he likes you. No matter if you’re around or not, he’ll defend your name in a heartbeat. He’ll try to make sure you get home safe if it’s late at night.

But thank him for being there for you. He may tell you that it’s nothing, and he’d do the same for anybody. He can’t help protect you because he likes you, but since he’s confused in love, he may act like he doesn’t care that much.

7. He balances a compliment with a tease

He might stare at you and say that you look incredible when you catch him staring. But he doesn’t want to make his feelings obvious, so he’ll instantly crack a joke or start teasing you. 

He doesn’t mean to offend you in any way, though.

8. Your conversations just suddenly die

Do you often get to a point when there are signs he wants to confess his feelings, but nothing happens?

Be it texting or talking in person, if a guy suddenly starts acting distant in the middle of a great conversation, it may be one of the signs he is fighting his feelings for you. He doesn’t want to let you know how he genuinely feels.

So, he just stops texting or talking the moment his confusion hits. He may casually text you after a few hours and go silent once you reply. It might make you wonder if he has ghosted you. Then he’d come back and start acting like he never really left abruptly. 

9. He acts differently when you’re in a group setting

When a man is confused about what he wants in a relationship, he may act weirdly different with other people around.

It should be your first sign if you are looking for an answer to how to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you.

He might be flirting with you or showing signs of attraction when you two are alone. But the moment there are other people around, he may seem like a different person.

If he treats you like he’s treating all the other girls there, it’s one of the signs he is fighting his feelings for you. 

10. He finds ways to spend time together but doesn’t ask you out on a date

When a man is confused about what he wants but still wants to see you and spend time with you, he might invite you to hang out with his friends or go to the movies.

But since he is confused about his feelings, he might not ask you out for a drink or take you to watch a movie alone. 

11. He denies it when others talk about the chemistry you two have

You should be careful here as it can be one of the signs he has feelings for another woman or maybe no feelings at all.

If you two have intense chemistry, it’s only natural that people around you will be able to feel that. But he won’t admit that and will laugh it off if anyone ever mentions that you two would make a great couple.

They’ll get uncomfortable if the subject comes up and says that you’re just friends/colleagues, even though he frequently shows signs he is secretly attracted to you.

12. He gets jealous but tries to hide it

If you’re asking yourself, ‘How do I know if a guy likes me’ or ‘Does he have feelings for me,’ see how a guy reacts when you talk about another guy you like.

If he gets jealous and gives you reasons why you shouldn’t be with that person, it might be because he secretly wants you for himself. 

If you aren’t sure about his jealousy, watch this helpful video to gain more insight:

13. His actions don’t match his words

‘Is he fighting his feelings for me?’ you ask. Pay attention and see if he says and does the same thing or not.

According to Kristen Failla, LMFT, “Mixed or inconsistent messages, such as words and actions not aligning, can be a significant indicator of confusion and uncertainty.”

He might tell you that you’re the prettiest girl alive and any guy would be lucky to have you, but he won’t ask you out on a date and act indifferent the next day.

14. He wants you to notice him but doesn’t seem to know what to do after that

He tries his best to be attractive around you and dresses well to impress you.

He might tell you things like how much he works out and the new car he’s got. While it might come off as bragging, he’s just trying to get your attention.

When he gets the attention, he doesn’t know how to proceed further, and the conversation dies suddenly.

15. He doesn’t seem to pay attention but remembers every little thing about you

Even though he shows so many signs that he is confused about his feelings and tries to hide them by acting aloof, he does pay attention to whatever you say.

He tends to remember anything from the way you like your coffee to how your childhood was.

16. He asks you lots of personal questions

He sure doesn’t want to commit yet, but he can’t help asking questions to get to know you better. He isn’t a cat person but seems smitten like a kitten about your cat.

It’s because he secretly likes you but doesn’t want to let you know yet.

17. He tries to make you jealous

If he mentions other women while he isn’t actively seeing anyone at the moment, it might be because he wants to make you jealous.

He wants to know how you feel about his attraction to other women. It’s one of the signs that a guy is hiding his true feelings for you. 

18. He makes sure you know that he isn’t seeing anybody

While some guys might try to make you jealous when they secretly like you, others may go out of their way to make sure you know that they aren’t pursuing anybody and are single at the moment.

If you see him talking to anybody, they clarify that he isn’t romantically interested in that person.

19. His friends want to know about your love life 

How to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you?

If his friends are suddenly interested to know if you’re dating anyone at the moment or what you think of their friend, it’s because they’re trying to get information from you to help him decide what to do. 

20. He is inconsistent

One way to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you is when he finally asks you out on a date and he tries to keep it casual.

He might text you that he had fun but doesn’t ask you out on a second date after that, leaving you wondering if he is still interested.

What to do when a guy is confused about his feelings?

It depends. How do you feel about him? If you don’t like him romantically, it doesn’t matter if he’s confused about his feelings for you or not.

But if you do like him, here are a few things you can do about it.

1. Openly talk to him

It’s a good idea to let the guy know about your feelings. He might’ve been fighting his feelings due to their fear of being rejected. Either way, open communication is always a solid start. 

2. Give him time and space

Try not to make him feel like he has to decide right away. Maybe some time to think is all he needs.

Kristen Failla, LMFT, highlights that “It can be reasonable to request that the person you are giving space to have the responsibility to communicate with you when they are ready to discuss their feelings. This initiation can effectively share accountability and provide you with clarity.

Meanwhile, you can give him some space and a chance to miss you. Let him figure out what he truly wants. Don’t panic if he takes longer than you’d imagined.

3. Reassure him

Let him know that you understand that he isn’t ready yet. Don’t put pressure on him or try to make him fall in love with you.

Kristen Failla, LMFT, adds that “Determination of self and autonomy (in other words, the ability and support to make decisions for yourself) is very important, especially within meaningful relationships. If something interferes with this, it can lead a person to retreat into self-protection.”

It’s better if he comes up with his own decision. While he’s taking his time, keep your cool and make sure to take care of yourself.

However, you can’t wait indefinitely for him to make a decision. So, if he still seems confused after giving him enough time, you may create some distance and move on.

Clearing the confusion

If a guy is confused about his feelings for you and taking their time to move forward, it might feel uncomfortable. Nevertheless, it’s also an opportunity to explore what a potentially deeper connection might look like. 

You never know what might happen, including your own feelings, if you don’t give it a go and talk to him.

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Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less

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