How to Take a Step Back Without Breaking Up

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If you have been in a relationship for some time, there are periods where you will feel like going on a break due to reasons best known to you. The core idea of going on a break suggests that you are taking a step back to figure out how to make the relationship work again. 

When you’re going on a break, your partner needs to be aware of your intent so they don’t think you want to break up. In this article, you will learn how to take a step back without breaking up.

To understand the effects of breakups in relationships, this study by Galena K Rhoades and other authors is illuminating. The study is titled Breaking Up is Hard to do. And it explores the impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction. 

How to take a step back without breaking up?

When it comes to how to take a step back without breaking up, you need to be sure that you are doing the right thing. 

You should weigh the pros and cons of taking a step back to see if it would be advantageous in the long run. 

While you take a step back in your relationship, ensure you don’t engage in acts like cheating, which could be painful to your partner. 

Please keep them in the loop even though there are set boundaries during this phase.

According to Grady Shumway, a licensed mental health counselor:

Taking a step back in a relationship without breaking up requires careful consideration of the consequences and clear communication with your partner.

It’s essential to evaluate the benefits and drawbacks of this decision while maintaining honesty and respect for your partner’s feelings.

Establishing boundaries and keeping your partner informed throughout this process can help you handle the transition with sensitivity and understanding.

10 suitable ways to take a step back without breaking up

Relationships are sometimes rocky. Sometimes, conflicts happen that can threaten to tear both parties apart. And sometimes, it may be appropriate to take a step back and critically examine the current state of your relationship dynamics. 

Knowing the right way about how to take a step back without breaking up is important so that it doesn’t send a wrong message to your partner.

Here are some ways to take a step back in a relationship without severing the union

1. Get busy with other personal affairs

If you consider taking a step back in your relationship, you can achieve this by getting busy with other essential personal affairs. 

This is the right time to focus on your personal goals that you might have abandoned for a long time. 

Doing this might prevent you from thinking too much about the state of your relationship because there are other things on your mind.

You can use this period to explore some old hobbies and adopt new ones. During this period, you will gain more perspective on your partner’s importance to your life and the relationship. 

You might discover that you have not been able to enjoy life to the fullest because of the situation in your relationship.

2. Spend more time with your close friends

Another way on how to take a step back without breaking up is to spend more quality time with your close friends. Sometimes, people in relationships struggle to balance their love life and friendships. 

They may end up focusing more on their partner, which is important. However, they might unintentionally sever ties with good friends.

Therefore, you can take a step back by spending some with your friends. You can engage in old interests that you once shared with them. 

It would also be a great opportunity to have life-changing conversations with them that will positively impact you. 

If you feel that they might offer good counsel, you can talk to them about what you are going through in your relationship.

3. Avoid checking their social media pages

If you consider stepping back in a relationship, you should spend less time on their social media accounts. 

You may find it hard to take a step back in your relationship when you are actively watching out for their next post on their socials. 

Taking a step back in your relationship without breaking up means you consciously prevent them from showing up in your face physically and virtually.

Consider muting them temporarily until you can solve the issue in your relationship. When you care less about what they post on their social media pages, you might think more logically about making things work between you.

Just as Grady Shumway explains:

Limiting your consumption of your partner’s social media content can facilitate taking a step back in the relationship without fully disengaging.

Continuously monitoring their posts can impede your ability to create distance and think rationally about the relationship’s dynamics. Temporarily muting them may provide the space needed for introspection and problem-solving.

4. Decide if you fare better if they are in your life or not

Knowing how to take a step back without breaking up also involves deciding if you really need them in your life. 

Sometimes, people keep putting up with their partners when the signs are glaring that they are not a good fit for the relationship in the long run. Hence, this is the point where you need to conduct a good evaluation of their place in your life.

If you are done with your assessment, and think they have an important role in your life, then you can consider this break temporary. You can map out some strategies to help the two of you find purpose again in your relationship.

5. Find out what you need in the relationship

You can be in a relationship; along the line, you discover you don’t know what you want. This might be one of the reasons why you keep having recurring conflicts with your partner. 

When you know what you want in a relationship, it might get easier to sustain and nurture it. 

To learn how to take a break in a relationship without breaking up, discover the benefits the relationship has for you, and see if it is worth sustaining.

Related Reading: What Are the Top 10 Needs in a Relationship?

6. Divide your expectations into realistic and unrealistic

In a relationship, it is important to mention that it is impossible for you and your partner to meet all the needs of each other.

Since you are two different people, the best that may happen is that you will be intentional about making each other happy and staying committed to the relationship.

However, one of the ways on how to take a step back without breaking up is to have a list of your expectations and categorize them into realistic and unrealistic ones.

When your partner does not meet the unrealistic expectations, you will remember that it is probably not within their capacity to fulfill them, and you won’t hold it against them. 

In comparison, if they don’t meet realistic expectations, the two of you might have to return to the drawing board to discuss a way forward.

7. Create time to communicate with them

Communicating with them is important when you want to know how to take a step back without breaking up. Do not step back without informing them because it could be viewed as an indirect way of disrespecting them. 

Whatever your decisions might be, ensure they are aware and hear what they have to say. You might be surprised that they probably have an alternative that would benefit both of you. 

When it comes to taking a step back meaning, communicating with your partner helps both of you to air your minds on your challenges in the relationship. You will know where your partner stands and vice versa.

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Improve Communication in a Relationship

8. Decide on when the two of you will get back

On how to take a step back without breaking up, discuss with your partner about when the two of you will get back with each other. Avoid taking a step back without deciding on a definite date when your relationship will continue in full swing.

Ensure that your partner understands the reason for taking a step back, so they won’t think you are looking for an easier way to end the relationship. 

However, if the two of you think that taking a step back might be a better alternative to end the relationship, then you can decide to part ways with each other.

People break up or end their relationships for reasons best known to them. However, there are some core reasons that may be mainstream. 

In this research by Ankit Chandra and Pragyan Paramita Parija titled The Love-Breakup study, you will learn more about the reasons for breakup in romantic relationships. 

9. Create boundaries during the break

To answer the question is taking a step back and breaking up; the answer can be understood from the context of creating boundaries. When you want to take a step back, you’re not breaking up, except if you and your partner decide to.

Hence, create boundaries that the two of you will abide by during this period. For instance, you can limit the number of calls you would have daily. 

Also, you may not visit them regularly as you used to until the break is over. The essence of these boundaries is to allow you to make logical decisions instead of thinking with your heart.

Related Reading: Setting Emotional Boundaries in Relationships

10. See a relationship therapist

Knowing how to take a step back without breaking up can be done without harming your love life when you see a relationship therapist. Relationship counseling helps you uncover the root cause of any relationship problem.

You will understand why you feel like taking a step back and also learn the ideal way to do it based on the peculiarity of what you’re going through. 

With the presence of a relationship therapist, you can open up unashamedly about what you are facing without the fear of being judged.

Watch this video on why you need relationship counseling or therapy: 

FAQ

• Is it appropriate to take a step back in relationship?

It can be good to take a step back in relationship when you observe that the dynamics of your union have been greatly affected. While you consider going on a break, informing your partner of your decision is important because the two of you are equal parties in the relationship.

Even though the idea of taking a step back can be conceived individually, you need to make them aware before taking this step. Ensure you communicate openly and honestly with them, and don’t forget to set the necessary boundaries.

• How do I take a step back emotionally?

When you notice some of the signs you need to step back in a relationship, you can begin to detach yourself emotionally. You can achieve this by reducing the amount of time you spend with them. 

Also, you can communicate less often with them and focus more on other aspects of your life. Taking a step back emotionally can also involve giving them less support. However, it is vital you remind them that taking a step back does not signal the end of the relationship.

• Is a breakup a good solution for everything in a relationship?

When it comes to breaking up in a relationship, it is not always a good solution for both parties. Sometimes, a breakup can end all the plans and structures that partners have spent time building. 

When you and your partner decide that a breakup might be the best, it might be a step in the right direction, even if it is painful.

If your relationship is not in good shape, Andrew G Marshall’s book might contain some quintessential tips for you. The book, Build a Life-Long Love Affair contains some effective steps to revitalize your relationship. 

Takeaway

If you are considering taking a step back, you can do this without ending the relationship with your loved one. 

The points mentioned in this article can help you learn how to take a step back without breaking up so that you can reconfigure the dynamics of your relationship. 

If you are still in love with your partner and want to make things work again between you, consider going for relationship counseling for professional help.