How to Start a Conversation With a Girl on Text: 25 Tips

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She’s the girl of your dreams, but she does not know it. You find a way to reach out online to let her know but are unsure how to start a conversation with a girl on text. 

There are two reasons why you need not feel weird about this. 

• You are not alone
• There’s no one answer to fix all. Girls, like everybody else, like and are interested in different things. 

The best thing about this mountain of a problem is that this article will make you a mountain climber in no time. At the end of this piece, you will know exactly what to text a girl to start a conversation. 

Also, knowing how to talk to a girl over text is just as important as knowing what to say. You can have it all figured out and be betrayed by your delivery. 

So please take a deep breath as we explore simple tips on how to start a convo with a girl. 

How to start a conversation with a girl on text?

Talking to a girl online has never been easier. The following are not tips, so to speak, but more like tuning your mind into the conversation. Your mentality when you send and receive texts has as much effect as the content of your texts. 

Still wondering how to talk to a girl online? Here is how. 

1. Keep it cool

If she is someone you have just met, you need to understand that she does not OWE it to you to reply to your texts. It changes little if you already have a relationship with the girl in question. While she is more likely to respond favorably, you must keep it cool.

Keep your texts short, concise, and straight to the point. You do not want to blow up her phone or computer with too many texts that overwhelm her. Do this long enough, and she will associate you with being an inconvenience. 

The result is that she avoids your texts and responds sparingly. Worst case scenario? She blocks you out and wants nothing to do with you. 

Tread carefully. 

2. Too soon, or leave it late?

The answer to the “how to start a conversation with a girl on text” question starts with weighing chatting with her immediately or giving it some time. It gets tricky because no one can help you here; you need to search within for the best action course.

Either option would do great, but it depends on the girl. 

If it is someone with inflated self-worth, you might need to counter with self-worth of your own. You might need to give her time before sending that hello text. This way, she sees you have other things going on and you were not holding your breath waiting to reach out to her.

Conversely, you can just let it rip when she shares her contact or social media handle. If you are thinking, why wait? We are with you. It is more encouraging when her body language shows she also wants to converse with you.

According to Kimberly Smith, a licensed mental health counselor:

You can initiate contact when you feel comfortable; just remember that when and how she responds is out of your control. The ball is in her court once you hit send.

If she is smiling, making physical contact, and maintaining eye contact, just go for it.

3. Build on the first impression

The best way to start a conversation with a girl is to build on the first impression you made. Seeing that she gave you her contact, you must have already done something right.

Again, kudos. 

Now what you need to do is think back to what it is you said or did. What topics did you get the most reaction for? What made her smile? When you figure those out, you double down. 

You make more references to whatever loosened her up when you got talking. You must avoid over-milking the situation or having her bored out of her mind before the conversation develops. 

4. Remember, you are not her friend

Goes without saying, but this is only true if you have not already established a relationship with her. You can build off that if she is a work colleague or classmate.

As Kimberly Smith quotes:

Treat the conversation like you are confirming whether they are someone you want to get to know more about. Remember, things take time.

But if she is someone you are just meeting or only previously met briefly, then you are just another STRANGER to her. Not to worry, this is only temporary if you do everything right. 

Keyword: Everything right. 

This involves respecting her boundaries because you are not YET her friend. You do not want your texts coming in at odd hours, during school or work hours. You need to find a way to get an idea of her schedule to know when she will be most receptive. 

5. Be ready to learn and adapt

As we have already established, she is a stranger. She is someone you do not yet know, essentially a mystery. What do we do with mysteries? We solve them. 

You need your Sherlock Holmes hat on to gradually but surely learn all her antics. You want to adapt to every piece of information she shares. Doing these shows you are being intentional; you take her seriously and any girl’s weakness, a good listener. 

6. You’re the prize, too

If there’s one thought you need to BANISH from your mind forever, it is that you are LUCKY to be able to talk to her. 

Being excited to talk with her is okay, but appreciation takes it too far. This way of thinking has a way of gently leaking out until she picks it up and, more often than not, starts to lose respect for you. 

Anytime you can feel this thought creeping in, mutter the words, “I am the prize too.” This is one of the how to start a conversation with a girl texting examples that you can implement right away.

Remind yourself of all your good qualities. You are fun and smart, and she’s equally going to have a good time knowing you too. Being self-confident can help you learn how to start a conversation with a girl on text without being sabotaged by your own insecurities. 

7. Text with a purpose

One thing you need to remember when looking to text a girl online is that you do not want the relationship to start and end online. 

Suppose you are not someone that spends a lot of time chatting, it is only a matter of time till you get tired of texting, and the conversation dies a slow, painful death. 

You should do your best to keep her invested and interested until she’s willing to go on a date, hang out, or meet up with you in person. 

There’s a good way and a wrong way to do this. You do not want to come off as pressuring, or you will only push her away. This advice can be useful even when learning how to start a conversation with a girl online. 

8. Know when to give it up

Sometimes, the reason you are not making inroads is that she is not interested. Half the time, there’s nothing you can do about it. The best-case scenario would be to give it and give her time.

If you keep on the pressure, you are not doing yourself any good as your emotions will be all over the place. You are at risk of becoming a pest and a stalker and damaging your relationship, if there is one, to begin with.

Counselor Kimberly Smith further mentions:

The sooner you are able to let it go, the sooner you set yourself up to be available for the next girl who may truly be your ideal partner.

It can be painful sometimes, but take a hint and give up when all else proves abortive. Learning when to stop is an important lesson in how to start a text conversation with a girl examples. 

Related Reading: 20 Things to Try Before Giving up on a Relationship

25 things to text a girl to start a conversation

Now that we have gotten all the “hows” out of the way, let us explore the “whats.” What to text a girl to start a conversation and much more coming right up. 

• Introduce yourself

One rookie mistake is chatting her up without telling her who she is talking to. The excitement often leads people to skip one integral part of any conversation — the introductions. 

The following are some ways you can introduce yourself to a girl you want to develop a relationship with via text.

1. “Hey there, it’s xxxxx from earlier in the day. This is my number and also checking in to see if you got home safe.”
2. “Hello [insert her name]. We talked at the (gym, school) a couple of days back. This is my [Twitter handle, Snapchat ID]. Let me know when you get this.”

• Hit her with riddles and jokes

If she has a funny bone or bones, riddles and jokes might be the way to go. They ease off both parties’ tension and give the conversation many outlets to develop. 

3. “What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.”
4. “Where do typists go for a drink? The spacebar.”
5. “A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender says, for you, no charge.”

• Throw her some song suggestions

One thing you probably can not get wrong is sending her song recommendations. It is a fail-proof method to get her attention. She does not need to like your recommendations, but it lets you know what she likes and is an avenue to discuss. 

These how to start a conversation with a girl over text examples can help you out:

6. “Have you listened to [insert your favorite artist’s name] new album?”
7. “You should try listening to [insert song title]. It helps me fall asleep quickly.”

Related Reading: Top 200 Love Songs for Him to Express Your Feelings

• Share memes

Memes are fun. Everyone shares and loves memes. The chances are that if you send memes or reference them in conversation, she will believe you are in the know and in with the times. 

The following are some cool ways to spice up conversations with meme references. 

8. “Twenny one, can you do some for me?”
9. “We don’t talk about Bruno. We should, however, talk about you.”

• Talk about timely events

You can set the ball rolling by asking her about popular events going on or coming into town. It is easy to start the conversation by discussing something you both have in common. 

10. “Who are you voting for in the coming elections?”
11. “Did you hear about the Justin concert coming to town?”

• Ask about her interests

The reason you want to chat her up is because you want to know about her. What better way to do so than to ask her questions? Ensure the questions are not too personal or intrusive at the start, as it might cause her to become uncomfortable. 

12. “What type of music do you like?”
13. “Do you have pets?”
14. “What is your favorite movie genre?”
15. “Do you exercise? And how often do you do it?”

Related Reading: How Important Are Common Interests in a Relationship?

• Talk about school or work

An easy icebreaker would be to talk about school or work. This is especially handy if you both school or work in the same place. You can catch each other up on gossip. 

16. “What’s your take on the new policies at work?”
17. “Did you hear what happened at soccer practice?”

• Ask for her recommendations

Asking her for her recommendations is an easy way to show genuine interest and that you value her opinion. You can employ the following when wondering how to start texting a girl.

18. “I have some free time later in the day. Do you have any movie recommendations?”
19. “Where would you recommend I hang out after school?”
20. “Got a party later tonight. Do you have any styling tips you want to share?”

Related Reading: 10 Recommendations to Avoid the Rut

• Be random

Sometimes, what you are texting does not need deep meaning. It might not always work, but it works like a charm when it does. You can just text the silliest, random things that pop into your head. 

This way, she has no idea what you have in store when your text comes in; she’d always be waiting.

21. “Imagine the earth stopped rotating for a second. What do you think will happen?”
22. “I am on my way home to play some 2K.”
23. “Fun fact. Did you know you can get your eyeballs tattooed?”

• Remember to be purposeful with your texts

If she’s someone you like, someone you enjoy texting with, you can only imagine how much fun you both would have if you met up. So try to meet up with her; it would be fun. 

24. “This new pizza place opened down the street. What do you say we check it out later today?”
25. “Me. You. Dinner. Tonight.”

Related Reading: How to Make a Guy Fall in Love With You Over Text Messages: 10 Ways

Watch this video to learn how to live a more purposeful life:

Some commonly asked questions

Here are some answers to some important questions that can help you get some clarity about how to talk to a girl over texts:

• How to text a girl for the first time?

You want to keep calm when texting her for the first time. Remain composed even if she leaves your message on read with no reply. She might be occupied; endeavor to give her the benefit of the doubt.

When she responds, you want to stick to the basics. Who you are, what you like about her without appearing like a stalker. 

• How to impress a girl by texting?

One of the easiest ways to impress a girl when texting is not to try too hard. You must realize you are probably not the only person vying for her attention. You can stand out by giving her space; very soon, she will learn to appreciate it. 

Final thoughts

There are no guarantees. You can do everything right, and she still would not respond to you favorably. 

This means she’s not the one, but now, you are armed with all the weapons you need to try again. And you’d definitely meet her this time — the one.