How to Keep a Guy Interested: 30 Ways to Get Him Hooked!

Sometimes it feels surprisingly easy to spark a connection… keeping it alive can be the tricky part. You might wonder what truly makes someone stay, feel excited, and keep choosing you every day.

The truth is, interest grows in the small moments; the smiles, the effort, the little ways you show you care. If you’ve ever caught yourself searching for ideas on how to keep a guy interested, you’re definitely not alone. Everyone wants to feel secure, valued, and wanted.

And with the right blend of authenticity, confidence, and warmth, it becomes so much easier to nurture something that feels good for both of you.

Why should keeping a guy interested be important?

Dionne Eleanor, Relationship & Empowerment Mentor, says

Love doesn’t thrive on routine; it grows where curiosity and passion meet.

It isn’t a matter of merely keeping just the guy interested; it’s genuinely about keeping each person from becoming complacent. When speaking specifically about a man, it’s essential to keep him interested, maintain that spark, so the relationship remains exciting, enticing, and extraordinary.

No one wants the same old. Inevitably, men become comfortable and familiar and stop trying to be honest. There has to be something to strike their attention, so they want to become involved and continue to give it a go. 

That’s where the partner comes in, providing the intrigue, if you will, so he stays away from the rut. When he sees his partner making these efforts, he will too – as he should. It indeed takes two. Because if he allows you to do all of it all the time to keep him entertained, he’s not worth that effort.

Dionne Eleanor adds,

It’s not about constantly proving love but about co-creating it daily.

How to keep a guy interested: 30 ways that just might work

Keeping your man interested beyond the honeymoon phase requires sufficient time, energy, and nurturing of the partnership. But it needs to be understood that this needs to be a mutual effort. 

Dionne Eleanor comments,

In a healthy relationship, neither person should be chasing the other—both should be walking side by side.

Relationships take two people. Your needs are important as well. Once familiarity develops, interest seems to wane, and it becomes crucial to think of new and exciting ways to rekindle his desire for you. 

You’ll find a few tips here that can help stave off the rut from developing and perhaps keep a guy wanting more. Check these out.

1. Avoid putting all your details out there at one time

Men like to keep guessing. It challenges them. If you reveal too much without his asking, he becomes too familiar too fast. 

Only give details that he wants to know (and those necessary) as the relationship progresses. It will not only make a man interested in you but also curious about who you are.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Share personal stories gradually instead of all at once.
• Save deeper topics for when trust and comfort grow.
• Let him ask questions so the conversation feels mutual.

2. Don’t be codependent

Ensure you have a balanced life, both personally and professionally, with your hobbies and interests. Don’t become codependent or clingy. That’s a certain way for a man to lose interest quickly.

Often, mates make the mistake of reducing time with close friends and family members to spend time with significant others. Your extracurricular activities should not expire. They should merely expand to include this new component of your life.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Keep weekly plans with friends, family, or hobbies.
• Make decisions independently without always seeking reassurance.
• Practice spending healthy time apart without anxiety.

3. Men have passions that play a primary role in their lives

When meeting someone, you need to learn all that’s important to them, including their passions and interests. These take a primary role in their life.

If you can’t find yourself at least becoming acquainted with the topic, it wouldn’t be fair to pursue this person.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Ask him to explain why the interest matters to him.
• Attend or participate in something related once in a while.
• Show curiosity rather than forcing yourself to “love” it.

4. Individualism is a priority in any healthy relationship

Sometimes, stressors and life pressures can be overwhelming, as you should be able to empathize and relate to others. We all need to, at times, withdraw from the world for a while. 

It’s nice to have space, whether to be merely alone for some quiet time or chill out with friends without fear of resentment. If you want to attract and keep a man, you cannot monopolize all his time.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Encourage him to take personal days without guilt.
• Set healthy boundaries around alone time for both of you.
• Normalize separate hobbies or social circles. 

5. Insecurity is not attractive

If a man notices someone attractive, don’t be insecure. That’s not the way to be more desirable to a man. If you can’t be secure with who you are or his feelings for you, how can he? 

Instead, it would help if you shared the beauty of another person and commented on that. There are genuinely stunning people in the world; it’s okay to notice and speak of them to one another.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Practice affirmations or habits that strengthen self-esteem.
• Pause before reacting emotionally to harmless situations.
• Communicate openly if insecurity becomes persistent, rather than suppressing it.

6. Take good care of yourself

As time passes, people begin to stop trying to impress the other person. 

They sometimes believe it’s okay to, maybe not, comb the hair, throw on the same unclean shirt from the day before, and head out for the day with your partner.

It is not okay even if you’ve been going out for more than a year.

Hygiene and all the products are still important, whether it’s been two weeks or two years.

It’s not merely a method for how to keep him interested, but a personal self-care issue to maintain self-confidence and self-esteem. That, in turn, can make a man more interested and you more attractive to him.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Keep a simple, consistent skincare and hygiene routine.
• Dress in ways that make you feel confident and put-together.
• Invest time in health, wellness, and grooming habits.

7. Don’t be too available

Suppose you’re always ready to go when he makes plans or sets something up at the last minute, causing you to have to change your schedule. That diminishes what you have going on, for one thing. 

Plus, it will ultimately become something that gets taken for granted. You don’t want to be a people pleaser. What you have there happening is as important.

Occasionally, sure, but not all the time. Plans need to be suitable for each of you without one person always having to compromise.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Avoid rearranging your schedule every time he calls.
• Pause and check your own priorities before agreeing to plans.
• Allow him to initiate sometimes without rushing to respond instantly.

8. Show appreciation for efforts made

Men often like to surprise their partners in various ways to express their emotions, especially when they struggle to verbalize their feelings. It’s essential to pay attention to these gestures and show gratitude, acknowledging the effort. 

That means doing so without indicating the “something” is not necessarily the desired surprise – go with it regardless. It’s always the thought in the heart.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Thank him specifically for the effort he put in.
• Return the gesture occasionally with small surprises.
• Compliment his thoughtfulness rather than critiquing the details.

9. Have a good time

Dates don’t have to become dull or the same old just because you’ve been together for a while. Make sure to continue having fun every time you spend an evening together, even if you’re living in the same house. 

There are so many creative things to do on dates, there’s no reason to be bored. October is here – celebrate fall in your backyard or even in an apartment by having a pumpkin carving party for two. 

It can be a blast if you set it up in a romantic context. Find a few sex tricks to keep the guy interested afterward. You don’t always need a theme, but consider one if it helps make your evenings more enjoyable.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Plan themed date nights or small seasonal activities.
• Try new things together monthly—foods, games, places.
• Alternate who plans each date to keep it balanced.

10. Feeling needed makes everyone happy

First, never appear codependent. That’s not going to be a technique for how to keep your man interested. One way for you to do so is to allow him to help you every so often. 

While you are independent and self-sufficient, letting someone take care of something simple to make them feel needed doesn’t hurt.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Ask for his help with simple tasks you genuinely need.
• Express appreciation when he steps in.
• Let him take the lead occasionally if he enjoys it.

11. Don’t put on pretenses

You will constantly be exposed if you pretend to be someone you’re not. A lot of times on first dates, mates try to impress each other in little ways. That’s harmless.

But if you get in over your head with major facts you sincerely know nothing about, you’re fake. He’ll find you more attractive if you’re real.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Admit when you don’t know something instead of faking it.
• Express your real preferences early on.
• Keep your personality consistent from day to day.

12. Show that you care and be attentive

In the same way that your partner gives you little gestures of kindness, make sure that you’re attentive. For instance, if he comes down with an illness, bring him some soup or pick up his medicine. 

When a man brings fantastic news, make sure to offer congratulations and perhaps plan an intimate get-together in his honor. Minor considerations are how to keep a guy interested in you.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Take note of what he likes or dislikes and act on it.
• Offer support without being asked when he’s unwell or stressed.
• Celebrate his achievements with genuine enthusiasm.

13. The hard-to-get game becomes not worth it to him

Before you start to date, playing the hard-to-get game might be cute to some people – maybe if you genuinely aren’t sure about the partnership.

But if it proceeds for too long, the man will ultimately lose interest. He’ll feel you’re honestly not into him. There’s no room in any partnership for games – period.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Be honest about your interest instead of sending mixed signals.
• Respond at a natural pace—not instantly, not strategically delayed.
• Make an effort proportionate to his so it feels mutual.

14. Leave desperation out of the equation

If you have a man who typically answers your messages within minutes or is always on time for dates, don’t freak out if something unexpected happens and he doesn’t respond to a text or shows up ten minutes late one day. 

Sending a plethora of nasty messages shows desperation and a lack of trust when you know from experience he is faithful and reliable. So, remember this when considering how to keep a guy interested via text.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Give him a reasonable time to respond before assuming the worst.
• Distract yourself with your own responsibilities instead of overthinking.
• Ask calmly if behavior changes become a pattern.

15. Add some spark if things have become lackluster in the bedroom

Explore new moves in the bedroom. Learn some of your guy’s fantasies and act those out with him, don’t be shy about bringing in sex toys or other props. 

Take the initiative to bring spice and excitement back to relationships where things might have become somewhat tame.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Communicate openly about what feels good or exciting.
• Try one new intimate activity at a comfortable pace.
• Create environments that enhance mood—lighting, music, privacy.

16. Leave the baggage at the door

A motto many of us have is that unless someone asks you a direct question, there’s no need to share specifics that didn’t involve them. 

If your man specifically and directly asks you about your ex, don’t supply every intimate detail.

It’s okay to be vague and brief – absolutely never compare the two. Baggage is better left at the door. Always look towards the future.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Share past experiences only when relevant and without oversharing.
• Avoid comparing him to ex-partners.
• Focus conversations on the present connection, rather than past hurts.

17. Be kind to friends and relatives

Men appreciate when friends and relatives approve of their partners. An ideal way for that to happen is when you don’t retaliate if he has time away with friends. 

Both of you visit his family periodically, and you’re kind to all of them. That’s one of the most important tips for keeping a guy interested. 

You might quietly not like some of these people, but don’t demean them to your mate. These people mean a great deal to him.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Greet his friends/family warmly and show polite interest.
• Avoid complaining about them to him unless there’s real harm.
• Encourage him to spend his time with loved ones instead of competing with it.

18. Rely on yourself financially as much as possible

Even if the relationship progresses to a living-together situation, many couples continue to keep their finances separate in today’s society. That doesn’t mean that you can’t share a check when dining together.

It simply means, as a rule, you can take care of yourself and do so with bills, items you desire, and so on. 

It’s personally satisfying; it’s attractive, and even if the guy’s rich, it speaks to the fact that you’re not there for the money, but instead, prefer the person.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Pay your share when appropriate.
• Budget responsibly so you aren’t dependent on him.
• Make financial decisions based on your goals, not his wallet.

19. Don’t be critical or belittle him

You might be doing well professionally, perhaps financially, but it’s not okay to push that in your guy’s face in a comparative manner, or that comes off as though you feel you’re in some way superior. 

This is in no way a method for how to keep a guy interested.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Express concerns without attacking his character.
• Praise his strengths instead of highlighting weaknesses.
• Avoid comparing your achievements to his.

20. There’s something to be said for spontaneity

It’s great to plan your activities, so you know specific details like what to wear, but there’s something about spontaneity that’s just exciting. 

Throw a few things in a bag and abruptly leave for a road trip to wherever the car will take you in a designated number of hours – GO! A fabulous way to keep a guy interested (and you.)

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Suggest a last-minute outing or activity.
• Create a spontaneous tradition, such as random dessert runs.
• Allow room in your schedule for unexpected fun.

21. Cooking!

Home cooking is a surefire method for how to keep a guy interested. No one will turn down an “everything-from-scratch” meal. Not many people can create a home-cooked dinner. 

Once a man tastes delicious food, he’s hooked, and if you learn to make his favorite food, he’ll only think of you when he consumes it. Also, try cooking together. It’s intimate and a good way to bond.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Learn a few go-to dishes he loves.
• Cook together to make it a fun and intimate experience.
• Create simple themed dinner nights to make meals special.

22. Be supportive in every situation

Every person goes through challenges. It’s essential to have a support system that stands behind you. 

If your guy knows that he can count on you to be there no matter what goes on – good or bad, that will be one of your most attractive qualities.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Listen without interrupting when he’s stressed.
• Offer help only after asking what he truly needs.
• Celebrate small wins with sincerity.

23. Lose the dramatic soul that might be residing in you

We all have a dramatic side dying to come out when we get angry. It’s almost always going to be the knee-jerk reaction that we invariably regret. 

It would be best if you held your tongue, took a few moments to think, took a breath, and then reacted when you argued. You will have arguments because all relationships do. Still, no one loves drama or overreactions.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Pause before responding during conflict.
• Use “I feel” statements instead of accusations.
• Walk away briefly if emotions are too high to talk.

24. Talk to each other

Have authentic conversations about anything you have an opinion on, not about the two of you or your partnership, but life, current events, politics, etc. 

These should be honest, deep conversations to help you better understand each other, become closer, and keep his attention.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Share opinions without fear of disagreement.
• Ask open-ended questions about life, not just the relationship.
• Make device-free conversation time a habit.

25. It’s okay to question when questions are warranted

Now and again, mates will attempt to pull the wool over one another’s eyes. Don’t be naive; ask the questions. Often, men become annoyed, but that’s because they know you know, and they believe they’ve gotten away with it. 

After being with someone for a while, we all know when something is just not right in couplehood.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Ask calmly for clarity instead of assuming.
• Observe patterns rather than one-off behaviors.
• Separate intuition from insecurity before reacting.

26. Make sure to laugh

Laughter is essential in every partnership, and everyone finds it especially attractive. A man will love the fact that you have a wonderful sense of humor.

That is a big win when it comes to how to keep a guy interested. That doesn’t mean putting on a show every few minutes. But a quick wit is enjoyable to be around.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Share funny stories or inside jokes.
• Watch comedy shows or videos together.
• Laugh at yourself sometimes to keep things light.

27. Never try to change a man

You should accept the man you’re dating for who he is. If that’s not entirely possible, then he may not be the right person for you; consider moving on to someone else. 

That’s as plainly as it goes. A man will not find a partner attractive who is constantly working to fix him.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Notice early which traits you can genuinely live with.
• Communicate needs without trying to reshape his personality.
• Step back if major values don’t align.

28. Affection should come naturally

That doesn’t mean you have a make-out session in the middle of the street. But as you’re walking down the sidewalk, you might hold hands as it comes second nature, or even give a peck because it feels right.

An instant hug when you get home in the evening, since you’re so happy to see each other, should be easy.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Offer casual affection—hand holding, hugs, gentle touches.
• Tune into what kind of affection he responds to best.
• Show affection in everyday moments, not only romantic ones.

29. Be a grateful human

No one wants to be around a pessimist. If you’re regularly looking at the “glass all the way empty” and feeling depressed and gloomy each time you see each other, this is not the best way to keep a guy interested. 

It makes him feel bad. There is always something to be grateful for, and you need to look for that silver lining, so you wake up smiling for the beautiful morning before you. 

Your guy will notice the positivity and look forward to it, which will make him feel good more often.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Name one thing you’re grateful for each day.
• Compliment him when he brings joy to your life.
• Redirect negative thoughts before they turn into complaints.

Watch this TED Talk by Dr. Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings as they tell you more about the habits of healthy relationships:

30. Control doesn’t belong in a relationship

Trying to control a man is the least possible way to keep a guy interested. Each person in a relationship needs to have their own time, space, and even the ability to miss a message or be late for a date without fear of retaliation, argument, or drama.

That is a form of attempting to control another person, leading to a toxic relationship where a man needs to find his way clear.

Here’s how to approach it properly:

• Allow him space without expecting constant updates.
• Communicate boundaries respectfully instead of demanding behavior.
• Build trust by modeling the independence you expect others to have.

To sum up

Keeping someone’s interest isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up with care, confidence, and a genuine heart. When you focus on connection rather than pressure, everything feels lighter… and a lot more real. These ideas aren’t rules, just gentle reminders that love grows through consistency, curiosity, and kindness.

Dionne Eleanor sums up,

The key to keeping love alive is in the balance between effort, authenticity, and shared growth.

And if you ever find yourself wondering how to keep a guy interested, remember that staying true to who you are will always matter most. Because when two people choose each other willingly, the spark doesn’t just fade—it deepens.

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The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less