17 Helpful Tips For Dealing with Getting Dumped

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Breakups are never easy, but they can be a little bearable when consensual. However, getting dumped by someone you love is a different ball game, especially when it comes out of nowhere. 

Getting dumped is a painful ordeal, and finding closure to allow you to move on is challenging but not impossible. 

Getting dumped out of the blue can affect your mental health, which isn’t surprising, but it doesn’t have to affect your life forever. However, you can overcome getting dumped if you know the proper steps. So keep reading to know how to get over being dumped.

What does getting dumped mean?

Getting dumped refers to the act of being rejected or broken up with by a romantic partner. It typically occurs when one person decides to end the relationship, leaving the other feeling rejected or abandoned. 

It can happen through various means, such as in-person conversations, phone calls, messages, or even ghosting, where one partner ceases all communication without explanation.

The experience can be emotionally painful, leading to feelings of sadness, confusion, and sometimes self-doubt or low self-esteem in the person who has been dumped, making moving on after being dumped quite challenging.

5 possible reasons that make getting dumped difficult

Getting dumped can be an emotionally challenging experience, leaving lasting impacts on one’s self-esteem and outlook on relationships. The process of getting over being dumped can be difficult for several reasons, each contributing to the complexity of moving forward.

Here are 5 potential reasons that make handling this emotional terrain particularly hard:

1. Loss of a shared future

When someone dumps you, it’s not just the present relationship that’s lost but also the future you had envisioned together. 

Dreams and plans suddenly become obsolete, from simple weekend getaways to long-term life goals. This abrupt end to what was once a shared vision can leave a profound sense of emptiness and loss, making it hard to adjust to a new, unplanned future.

2. Damaged self-esteem

Being on the receiving end of a breakup can lead to self-doubt and a significant hit to one’s self-esteem. You might start questioning your worth, attractiveness, or even your personality traits, wondering what was so lacking in you that led to the breakup. 

Internalized criticism can make what to do after being dumped feel like an impossible task, as it requires rebuilding the shattered confidence.

According to LMHC Grady Shumway,

A breakup can deeply affect your self-esteem, leading to self-doubt and questioning your worth. It’s essential to focus on self-compassion and seek support to rebuild your confidence and self-worth.

3. Social and family expectations

Social and family pressures can amplify the pain of getting dumped. Whether it’s the fear of judgment from others, dealing with the stigma of being single again, or simply having to explain the breakup repeatedly to inquiring friends and family, these social dynamics add an external layer of stress. 

The pressure to quickly move on or to immediately start dating again can further complicate the healing process.

4. Disrupted routine and loneliness

A breakup disrupts daily routines and the sense of normalcy, especially if you and your partner share many aspects of your daily lives. This sudden shift can lead to a profound sense of loneliness and isolation as you have to manage life’s mundane aspects alone. 

The companionship once taken for granted is now a void, making everyday activities feel empty and purposeless.

5. Emotional dependency

Emotional dependency on a partner for happiness, validation, or emotional support can make getting dumped particularly devastating. If the relationship was your primary source of emotional fulfillment, its loss can leave you feeling unanchored and incapable of finding joy independently. 

The challenge then becomes not just about getting over being dumped but also about learning to derive happiness and validation from within, a journey that requires time, self-reflection, and, often, external support.

17 tips to help you deal with getting dumped

How to get over being dumped is possible if you know the proper steps to take. The following 17 tips can help you deal with the heartbreak as you begin your recovery journey:

1. Purge your emotional junk drawer 

Do you want to know how to get over being dumped? Then, purge your emotional junk drawer. Coming across pictures or objects that remind you of your relationships will make it challenging to deal with getting dumped. 

Get rid of your ex’s stuff to create room for new memories. You can’t be surrounded with memories of your relationships, even good memories, if you want to deal with heartbreak. Purge out that emotional junk drawer and celebrate the therapeutic effects of purging. 

2. Visit an anger room

How to feel better after being dumped is by visiting an anger room. 

Was your breakup messy, and do you have a lot of anger you want to let out? If you do, then an anger room is perfect for you. Then, you can scream and smash objects to your heart’s content. 

It is a form of therapy, and it gives you a chance to vent, de-stress, and let out your anger. Anger should be redirected or expressed because unexpressed anger can lead to pathological expressions of anger. 

Unexpressed anger can affect your mental health and lead to unhappiness and passive-aggressive behaviors. Expressing your rage lets you calm down on the inside and helps you move on instead of fixating on the anger.

3. Don’t stay friends with your ex

You can’t automatically turn off your feelings; it doesn’t work that way. Staying friends with your ex will make it virtually impossible to move on. On the other hand, being friends makes it easy to become comfortable with that person again, leading to romantic feelings. 

After ending a relationship, you need time to discern what led to the breakup and see a clearer picture. It would be best if you also had time to deal with the heartbreak and recuperate. 

It is hard to do this with your ex still in your life. There is no upside to remaining friends and other reasons why you shouldn’t include:

• It can lead to an off-again-on-again relationship 
• It will be painful being just friends, especially if your partner has moved on 
• You might miss out on new relationships
• Unresolved issues can bubble up the surface 

4. Talk to your friends 

Talking to friends and loved ones can help you deal with a breakup. You don’t have to navigate this difficult phase of your life alone; lean on your friends. Your friends can give you a new perspective on what you’re dealing with and help you feel less alone. 

Talking about your feelings with others can be challenging, but it is easy to be open with loved ones. You don’t have to feel ashamed for feeling the way you do; you know they won’t use it against you.

Loved ones are best positioned to tell you things you didn’t know and help you paint a clearer picture. So, do you want to know how to get over being dumped? Then, start by talking to your friends. 

They can also provide emotional support and help distract you from the pain. 

Grady Shumway states that,

Reaching out to friends and loved ones during a breakup can provide valuable emotional support and a fresh perspective. Don’t hesitate to lean on them; they can offer comfort, advice, and help you navigate this challenging time.

5. Don’t blame yourself 

After a breakup, your next step might be to regret, analyze your actions, and wish you could have done things differently. Unfortunately, this isn’t productive and will prevent you from moving on. To avoid getting depressed after being dumped, you must forgive yourself.

You can’t change the past, and playing out old scenarios in your mind won’t change anything.  

6. Self-care 

After a breakup, you will most likely seclude yourself from the outside world, remain on your bed, and won’t feel like showering or even eating. Resist the urge to do this and ensure you take care of yourself. This is an important way of dealing with a breakup. 

Caring for yourself, exercising, and healthy eating will give you energy and allow you to heal. 

7. Seek professional help 

It can be easier to confess to a stranger than to a loved one. You only have to see them for a limited time, and you know they won’t judge you. Professionals are trained to be neutral and have an unemotional and objective response.  

Therapists are often interested in seeing the bigger picture. The little parts that led up to the breakup. Seeking professional help can help you deal with heartbreak. 

8. Forgive

You can’t move on if you still resent your ex. Forgiveness helps you and not your ex.

Forgiving your ex will enable you to break the cycle of pain and let go of any baggage so that you can heal and move on. Now, forgiving someone who hurt you is never easy, but it is necessary if you want to build a new life. 

Forgiving will take time and can’t be achieved in one day, but remember to celebrate the small victories. Ways to forgive your ex include:

• Taking responsibility for your part in the breakup
• Embrace positivity 
• You can only forgive your ex if you forgive yourself first

9. Indulge yourself 

While you shouldn’t wallow in your pain forever, you can indulge in things that make you feel better. So let yourself go for a short while. Cry as much as you want, and bury your face in ice cream, chocolate, or anything that works for you. 

However, only do this for a short while, which will help you feel better. 

10. Learn from your breakup

Being dumped is not something you want to experience, but there are lessons to be learned when you do. 

Your experience will guide you in your next relationship. First, reflect on what went wrong and the actions that led to the breakup. This includes your ex’s actions to determine the traits to avoid in the next partner. 

11. Don’t scheme to get back at your ex 

You can’t move on and deal with heartbreak if you are planning for revenge. So don’t focus on your partner but on yourself. The goal is to forgive, move on, and not get stuck in the past.

12. Spend time outdoors

Don’t be cooped up indoors or seclude yourself; this can make it easy to get depressed. Instead, go outside to get fresh air and clear your head. Take a walk or go for a job; this is bound to lift your spirits. 

13. Don’t rush into a relationship 

You mustn’t rush into a relationship as a way to deal with the heartbreak, as this can backfire. First, get over your relationship to enable you to move on the right way. Then, if you meet someone you genuinely care for, you can take it slowly. 

14. Don’t stalk your ex 

Keeping up with your ex’s life is unhealthy and will prevent you from moving on. It might even cause more pain, especially if you realize they have moved on. Cut contact with your ex and focus on yourself. 

15. Don’t convince them to change their mind 

If your partner wants to break up, accept their decision, don’t try to talk them out, and most importantly, don’t beg. Walking away after being dumped is the next step to take. 

You can ask them their reason for calling off the relationship but don’t assume they don’t know what they want by begging them to take you back.

16. Explore new hobbies and interests

When a guy dumps you unexpectedly, diving into new hobbies and interests can be a therapeutic way to rediscover yourself and build new, positive associations. 

Engaging in activities you’ve always wanted to try or rekindling past interests can provide a sense of accomplishment and joy.

Such an exploration not only distracts you from the pain of being dumped but also helps in creating a new chapter in your life where you’re the main focus, not the breakup.

17. Set new personal goals

Setting new personal goals is crucial in the journey of how to deal with getting dumped. Whether these goals are related to your career, fitness, or personal development, having something to work towards can give you a sense of direction and purpose. 

Achieving these goals can boost your self-esteem and remind you of your worth and capabilities outside of a relationship. It’s about building a life where you’re not just over being dumped but thriving beyond it.

Watch this TED Talk where John Doerr explains why the secret to success is setting the right goals:

 

5 post-breakup dos and don’ts

A breakup can be a tumultuous journey filled with a mix of emotions and challenges. Whether you’re figuring out how to mend a broken heart or simply trying to find your footing again, it’s essential to approach this period with a blend of self-compassion and practical strategies. 

To aid your recovery, here are five post-breakup dos and don’ts crafted to help you move forward with strength and clarity.

Dos:

What to do when you get dumped includes:

• Do give yourself time to grieve: Allow yourself the space to process your emotions. It’s healthy to acknowledge and feel your sadness, anger, or confusion.
• Do lean on your support system: Reach out to friends and family for comfort and companionship. Sharing your feelings can provide relief and valuable perspectives.
• Do focus on self-improvement: Use this time as an opportunity to focus on personal growth. Whether picking up a new hobby, exercising, or advancing your career, investing in yourself is always beneficial.
• Do set healthy boundaries: If necessary, take a break from your ex on social media and establish clear boundaries to facilitate healing.
• Do reflect on the relationship: Consider what you’ve learned from the experience. Understanding what went right and what went wrong can provide valuable insights for future relationships.

Don’ts:

However, it would help if you didn’t do the following:

• Don’t rush into a new relationship: Give yourself time to heal before jumping into something new. Rebound relationships can complicate the healing process.
• Don’t stalk your ex on social media: Obsessively checking your ex’s profiles can prevent you from moving on and can lead to unnecessary pain.
• Don’t ignore your well-being: Avoid neglecting your health and self-care. Eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep are crucial for emotional recovery.
• Don’t bottle up your emotions: Keeping everything inside can be harmful in the long run. Find healthy outlets for your feelings, such as journaling, therapy, or creative activities.
• Don’t seek revenge or harbor resentment: Holding onto anger or plotting revenge only poisons your well-being. Strive for forgiveness, both for your peace of mind and for the sake of moving on.

FAQs

The emotional landscape of breakups and getting dumped can raise many questions. Here are some common queries to shed light on this complex subject:

• Why does getting dumped feel so much worse than a breakup? 

Getting dumped often feels worse than a mutual breakup because it involves rejection and a loss of control. The surprise and unilateral decision by the other party can lead to significant emotional pain and a blow to self-esteem, making the recovery process more challenging.

• Do dumpers feel bad after a breakup? 

Yes, dumpers can feel bad after a breakup. Despite initiating the end of the relationship, they may experience guilt, regret, or doubt about their decision. The emotional impact of ending a significant relationship can affect both parties, not just the one who was dumped.

• Do dumpers stalk their ex?

Dumpers might occasionally check in on their exes via social media or other means, driven by curiosity, guilt, or a lingering emotional attachment. This behavior varies widely among individuals and depends on the nature of the breakup and their personal coping mechanisms.

• Do exes come back after dumping?

Exes can come back after dumping someone, often due to a change of heart, loneliness, or realizing the value of the relationship they lost. However, reconciliation depends on many factors, including the reasons for the breakup and whether both parties are willing and able to work through past issues.

Takeaway

There is no one solution to healing after getting dumped, how to get over being dumped by someone you love, and the process of dealing with heartbreak can vary for different people. 

However, applying the tips above will nudge you in the right direction and help kick-start your recovery journey. If you feel like you can’t get over it even after trying various ways, it’s highly recommended that you consider professional advice.