55+ Funny Christmas Quotes to Make Your Loved One Smile

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Christmas is the year’s most celebrated holiday that occurs on December 25th. The meaning of Christmas is to recognize the birth of Christ, the exact date of which is unknown. Everyone feels fortunate to have their family at Christmas time, and it is celebrated at homes and churches worldwide.

The celebrations include decorating the entire house, spending time with the family, and shopping for friends and relatives. On this occasion, all family members spend time together as they bake cookies, make fudge, and prepare a big Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.

People actually look forward to this holiday’s hustle and bustle. The children love to see each other at Christmas. They spend their time playing games and sharing the new gifts Santa Claus brought each of them.

We should not forget that no occasion can go by without some laughter. So, are you looking to add a touch of humor to your holiday season and find some funny Christmas phrases? 

Look no further! We have compiled a list of over 55 funny Christmas quotes that are sure to bring a smile to your loved one’s face. 

From clever one-liners to witty observations about the holiday season, these humorous Christmas quotes are perfect for adding a dose of laughter and joy to any Christmas gathering. 

Whether you want to send a text message consisting of funny quotes about xmas or include a hilarious quote in a holiday card, our collection has a variety of options to suit your needs. Get ready to spread some holiday cheer with these funny Christmas quotes!

59+ funny Christmas quotes to make your loved one smile

The Christmas season is all about spending quality time with your loved ones and making memories that will last a lifetime. What better way to add some cheerful humor to your holiday celebrations than with a collection of funny quotes about Christmas?

From witty Christmas quotes to clever puns, this compilation has something for everyone. 

Whether you want to make your friends and family laugh with hilarious funny phrases for Christmas or simply add a festive touch to your holiday decorations, these funny Christmas family quotes are guaranteed to spread some much-needed joy and merriment this holiday season. 

So sit back, grab a cup of cocoa, and let’s dive into some sidesplittingly funny family Christmas quotes that are sure to leave you and your loved ones with smiles on your faces!

1. “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
2. “Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.” – Unknown
3. “Why is Santa Claus always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live!” – Unknown

4.” Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

5. “Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller
6. “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin
7. “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple
8. “I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” – Winston Spear
9. “Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.” – Melanie White
10. “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Unknown
11. “What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.” – Unknown
12. “There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.” – Bob Phillips
13. “Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!” – Unknown
14. “The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller
15. “At Christmas, all roads lead home.” – Marjorie Holmes
16. “What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!” – Unknown
17. “Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Ok, most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own presents.” – Unknown

18. “The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants.” – John Andrew Holmes Jr.
19. “Santa Claus wears a red suit because he’s a communist.” – Kim Campbell
20. “What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime? Merry Christmas to ewe!” – Unknown
21. “The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.” – Unknown
22. “Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.” – Anonymous
23. “You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” – Robert Paul
24. “Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? He had low elf esteem.” – Unknown
25. “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear.” – Will Ferrell
26. “The real Santa Claus is at the mall.” – Lemony Snicket
27. “My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” – Melanie White
28. “Do you know why Santa goes down the chimney? Because it soots him!” – Unknown
29. “Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all thirty feet tall.” – Larry Wilde
30. “The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.” – Julius Sharpe
31. “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” – Unknown
32. “Christmas – When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.” – Unknown
33. “Santa saw your Facebook posts. This new iPhone you wanted will be in the mail soon.” – Unknown
34. “Christmas is the time when everyone wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller
35. “What do you call Santa when he goes down the chimney without using the front door? Claustrophobic.” – Unknown
36. “What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.” – Unknown
37. “I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” – Henny Youngman
38. “What does one snowman say to the other snowman? ‘Do you smell carrots?'” – Unknown
39. “I’m not a big fan of Christmas lights. They remind me of the people who voted for Obama.” – Bill Engvall
40. “Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends.” – Margaret Thatcher

41. “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor
42. “Christmas is just like any other day except that we spend it together.” – Brian Logan Dales
43. “Christmas is so much worse when you’re an adult. Instead of receiving toys, you get bills.” – Unknown
44. “What’s green, covered in tinsel, and goes ribbet ribbet? Mistle-toad!” – Unknown
45. “Remember, children: the best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.” – Unknown
46. “I love Christmas. I can’t wait to exchange all the presents I bought for myself.” – Unknown
47. “How does a snowman get around? Riding an ‘icicle’! – Unknown
48. “Roses are red, violets are blue, all I want for Christmas is you… to get a job.” – Unknown
49. “Christmas magic is silent. You don’t hear it – you feel it. You know it. You believe it.” – Kevin Alan Milne
50. “Why was the math book sad during Christmas time? Because it had too many problems.” – Unknown
51. “Oh, Christmas isn’t just a day, it’s a frame of mind.” – Kris Kringle in the movie Miracle on 34th Street
52. “In our family, we play a game on Christmas morning where we pass one present around the table and listen to The Little Drummer Boy. Whoever has the gift when the song stops gets to keep it.” – Dave Barry
53. “Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
54. “Do you have the ugly Christmas sweater? Great! You’re ready for life then.” – Unknown
55. “What is Santa’s favorite game to play? North Pole-arity!” – Unknown
56. “One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day.” – Unknown
57. “Christmas is a time when you get homesick — even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
58. “How does a snowman get around? Riding an ‘icicle’!” – Unknown
59. “You know you’re getting older when Santa starts looking younger.” – Bart Simpson
60. “The 12 Days of Christmas is a song relating to how sexy I am.” – Unknown

Let your Christmas be filled with joy and smiles

These funny Christmas quotes are sure to bring joy and laughter to your loved one’s holiday season. Whether it’s a playful tease about holiday weight gain or a witty remark about Santa Claus, these quotes will lighten the mood and bring a smile to their face. 

Christmas is a time for laughter and creating memories. You can add a dose of humor to the festivities with these funny quotes. So go ahead and share these quotes with your loved ones, and let the laughter fill the air this Christmas.