Finding Love After 65

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Gerontologists agree that romance, love and social activity are important parts of the ageing process. They have real benefits for health and quality of life in later years.

There is a longing everyone has for a companion, someone to share stories with and snuggle up to at night. No matter how old we get, feeling loved is something to always cherish.

The desire for intimate lovers never dies, and it is important to socialize in online groups and in group outings. The best way to meet people is to introduce yourself.

You are not alone

There was an interview a while back with Joan Didion; she wrote a memoir about her husband’s death, The Year of Magical Thinking, it was very successful and a National Book Award winner in 2005.  

The interviewer asked her, “Do you want to marry again?” And Joan, in her 70s, replied: “Oh, no, not marry, but I would love to fall in love again!”  

Well, wouldn’t we all?

Remarkably, seniors are the fastest growing segment in online dating. Apparently, when it comes to the desire to fall in love, Joan is not alone.

When it comes to falling in love or even just to make new friends, age is just a number.

For many, romantic relationships have come and gone throughout the years, for a plethora of reasons. No matter the reasons past relationships ended, we can all agree that the honeymoon phase of any relationship is swoon-worthy.

My favourite quote is by Lao Tzu and it states – Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

There is something about being loved that makes you feel special, inside and out. The love you receive makes you stronger and gives you a radiant glow. When the other person feels your love, they get to feel confident and happy too, it is quid pro quo.

When you love someone else you know that you are initially taking a risk, they may love you back, they may not have the same romantic feelings. Either way that is okay, love takes guts.

There is still hope

Many people today are single in their sixties. This could be the result of a divorce, because they are a widow or widower, or because they just have not found the right person yet.

The good news is, there are many seniors who find a new, and perhaps unexpected, romantic spark later in life; sometimes in their 70s, 80s or 90s.

Over the past few decade divorce rates have increased, and so has the number of men and women who find love again after a long-term relationship. Many seniors want a love in their life, a partner they can share their days with, and you could be that person.

There are many vibrant and insightful residents in the retirement communities that will tell you to love is not just for the young, and they are right. We all deserve to love and to be loved.

Where to find your new love

1. The internet

According to the 2015 Pew Research Center study, 15% of American adults and 29% of those who were single and looking for a partner said they used a mobile dating app or an online dating site to enter a long-term relationship.

2. Community centres

Community centres have fun celebrations and outings in neighbourhoods that allow many seniors to gather, meet one another and have social stimulation. Senior community centres are an easy way to meet others with similar interest in your community.

3. Local neighbourhood stores and activities

Some people like to meet people “the old fashioned way”, I understand, this is how I met my husband.

Places like neighbourhood grocery stores, libraries, coffee shops, or venues for hobbies are great places to meet a potential partner or even just a new friend.

While this way can be a bit more challenging to meet a possible mate on a chance outing to the store, it does make for a romantic story.

4. Senior living communities

Many seniors find companionship and love in senior living communities; either assisted living or independent living, being in close proximity and sharing activities, meals and lives together in these close-knit communities contribute to seniors’ overall quality of life.

Whether you decide to move to an independent living community or search online, it is important that you seize the day and start your search for you companion.

The key seems to be challenging the myths about ageing that are pervasive in our society.

After all, we are not getting any younger.