10 Reasons Why Women Love Dating an Older Man

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Over a hundred years ago, Oscar Wilde commented that the “tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.” Paradoxically, the more we age physically, the more many of us feel young. Is that what happens when a woman is dating an older man? 

Are women more attracted to older men?

All of us are highly aware of our age. It doesn’t just mark the passage of time, though. Each decade comes with different social expectations and judgments. This complexity makes it very hard to fully extricate why women date older men. 

In some cases, young women wanting older men is shocking to many if the age gap is too large. Although, who are we to judge? 

People should be free to live their lives as long as the relationship is consensual and not hurting anyone. Nonetheless, how often do these large age-gap relationships occur? 

According to Psycom, Western countries only have 8% of heterosexual couples with a 10-year or more gap. That’s less than one person for every 10 that you know. Most importantly, there doesn’t seem to be a perfect age gap when dating an older man. 

Every relationship has its ups and down. In terms of young women wanting older men, they might need different tips. So, how do you reconcile differences in life goals or too much discrepancy between finances? 

Tips for dating an older man should also include how to handle health issues. Everything will most probably fall onto the shoulders of the younger partner. 

Such challenges can be overwhelming for younger women. They’re often still figuring things out at that stage in their lives. So, often a relationship therapist can be invaluable. Despite any challenges, like any other relationship, dating an older man can be highly fulfilling.

So, do girls like older guys? Yes, in most cases, according to the data, as we’ll see shortly. Even so, the reality of the actual age gap is more complicated. 

Psychologist Mert Şeker explains

Girls’ preference for older men is a complex issue, influenced by social psychology and evolutionary factors. Socially, cultural norms and expectations often favor relationships where the man is older, aligning with traditional gender roles.

Evolutionarily, women may seek older men for their strength, resource access, and the security they offer, potentially enhancing survival and well-being for themselves and their offspring. However, individual preferences vary greatly, influenced by personal experiences and values, making these general trends not universally applicable.

10 reasons why women love dating an older man 

Are women attracted to older men? This age-old question is difficult to answer because of the complexity of choice. Some argue that we’re programmed by our cultures and backgrounds, so the choice is an illusion. 

Others tell you that we all have a choice in how we respond to circumstances. To complicate matters, we are all victims of unconscious bias. As one article on trophy wife stereotypes demonstrates, perhaps the wide age-gap people talk about is selective bias. 

Then again, this more recent study, although limited to Finland, shows that the majority of couples are only a few years apart in age. Nevertheless, even with those couples, the majority have the man as the older partner. 

So, what attracts a younger woman to an older man? Any of the following are potential reasons, but it’s impossible to generalize because each partnership has its own beliefs and attitudes to life. 

1. Evolutionary genes? 

From an evolutionary point of view, the question “why women date older men” can be answered by our reproductive capacities. As this article on the mating game discusses, women are at their fertility peak in their 20s. 

According to the article, men favor fertility over youth, even if this is subconscious. Although, you’ll see that the article further discusses an opposing view of that theory. It’s conceivable that we actually prefer people similar to us. 

As you can see, there is no clear cut answer or even opinion as to why dating an older man is right for some women. It depends on the context and the people involved. 

2. Greater life experience 

For many women, the joy of a partnership is to explore life and make mistakes together. Nevertheless, for some women dating older men gives them the support they crave. 

This Guardian article on why girls fall for older men summarizes an intriguing conclusion by zoologist Stephen Proulx. His theory is down to genetic strength.

In other words, if an older man can flaunt a flashy car along with a superb apartment and all the right clothes, he must be doing something right. On the flip side, subconsciously, most of us doubt a young man can keep such shows of wealth going for long. 

Think of it like a peacock parading his bright feathers. If he’s still got them during the later stages of life, then his genes must be amazing. We’ll leave it up to you if you feel the mating game is just a jungle game. 

Şeker suggests,

Women’s preference for mature men often stems from valuing emotional maturity, empathy, and shared experiences. Mature men, having faced life’s challenges, may offer deeper connections, emotional support, and stability in relationships.

Their resilience and ability to turn experiences into valuable lessons can be appealing. Men can enhance relationships by sharing these life experiences. However, Şeker cautions against generalizations, emphasizing the complexity and uniqueness of individual relationships.

Related Reading: 25 Ways on How to Choose a Life Partner

3. The other woman? 

Do girls like older guys? Some like to assume that those boys cheat less than younger ones. The data shows otherwise. 

According to the Institute for Family Studies, men cheat more as they enter their 50s and 60s, and even 70s. For women, it’s the 60s.

So, could some cases of older men with younger women blossom from an affair? Of course, no one should judge without knowing the particular situation. Nevertheless, if you’re one of those young women wanting older men, don’t assume they’ll be faithful. 

All relationships take work and commitment regardless of the age gap. 

4. More power and confidence

If you’re in the older men dating game, perhaps you’re fed up with dealing with immature boys in their 20s or even 30s. The age depends on your age and how wise you feel about life. 

Nevertheless, dating an older man can feel like bathing in a halo of assurance and influence. Older men are generally more senior in their careers, and they know how to make things happen. No more sitting in queues waiting to be served at the top restaurants and hotels. 

Related Reading: 25 Ways To Exude Confidence In Your Relationship

5. Greater stability

Perhaps younger women and older men go well together because of the roles we play according to society’s rules. After all, most of us live in a patriarchal culture that primes us to believe that men are the providers. 

So, by definition, older men will have had more time to sort out their careers to then be able to provide for women. Or perhaps not? 

As we’ve mentioned, studies show that most partnerships are actually closer in age. This suggests that women who do go for older men are potentially searching for stability sooner rather than later. 

Related Reading: 9 Tips for Building a Healthy and Stable Relationship

Although, remember that you don’t need someone else to make you feel stable and secure. Instead, work on building your self-worth by starting with this video:

6. Wiser and more grounded 

Do women like older men? Some women do, but it’s hard to summarize such a complex choice into just age. 

Those who are attracted to older men often see someone who’s more comfortable with themselves and who knows what they want in life. This is further supported by a fascinating BBC article on the prime of your life.

Despite our mental and creative capabilities declining when we hit our 40s, our social reasoning and life satisfaction both increase. We are essentially in a better relationship with our emotions, and the average person is happiest in their 60s. 

How can all of this not attract the tumultuous young to the concept of dating an older man? 

7. Commitment friendly 

Women dating older men often feel that their older partners are more committed. It makes sense if you consider the previous point that we feel most content with life when we hit our 40s and even our 60s. 

That’s not to say that younger men can’t be committed. Nevertheless, older people seem to emit a halo of joy that’s difficult not to get drawn into. 

This Guardian article on the best decades of life suggests that our 60s and 70s are some of our best years. Perhaps that also explains the trend of aging Hollywood stars getting together with younger women. 

8. Social position

Older men dating comes with social perks. By and large, they’re more respected, especially when you go out, because people tend to assume that being older equates to having more money. 

Such men also come from a different generations and can sometimes be more traditional in how they treat women. Many women appreciate that approach and enjoy being taken care of. 

Moreover, dating an older man often means that they’ve made the first move. Of course, this is an assumption. Regardless, when we’re young, we’re usually more flattered by such attention than as we get older. 

As a young woman, you get instant status and no more waiting for the young guys to pluck up the courage to ask you. 

9. More resources 

Do women like older men? It does seem that most studies show that men are older than women, although it is typically only by a few years. 

The large age gap is mostly what either shocks or intrigues people. For those women attracted to older men, another possible reason is that these men have worked out how to maneuver through life. 

Essentially, older men have cash, assets, and network resources built up over several decades. So, when one of life’s problems arises, they can better resolve it for themselves and their younger partner. 

Related Reading: 3 Marriage Preparation Resources to Keep Your Relationship Happy

10. Established gender roles 

If you’re still wondering what attracts a younger woman to an older man, you also need to look at how society influences us. The “younger women older men” partnership might seem like a choice, but this study on the age gap between spouses suggests something more complex. 

In short, it appears that relationships come from “bargaining” rather than absolute choice. That process of getting together is complex, and most so-called experts miss out on the rejections also involved when we finally partner with someone. 

As the study demonstrates by analyzing not just couples but also dating trends, men and women don’t normally end up with their age preferences. Notably, the so-called bargaining process is heavily influenced by the fact that men make 90% of first moves. 

Moreover, we are necessarily impacted by society’s rules and the implication that women should be more subdued. Of course, many of us women are fighting back against that stereotype. Nevertheless, it still exists today. 

The study concludes that if we refer to “partner discovery” rather than “partner choice,” relationships are a compromise of different desires, with men still leading the opening. So, perhaps women are not as attracted to older men as simply falling for their advances and tactics. 

Related Reading: 11 Examples Of Traditional Gender Roles

FAQs

Why is dating an older man better? 

Women who love older men enjoy the status, security, and stability that often comes with the relationship. As noted earlier, like with everything in life, dating an older man also comes with challenges. 

So, the tips for dating an older man include planning healthcare needs, aligning goals, and checking in on values. It’s very similar to when you’re dealing with any relationship, but the alignment might take more negotiating with a bigger age gap.

To answer the question, is dating an older man better or worse depends on your viewpoint. There is no perfect answer, just like there is no perfect age. Everything comes with pros and cons. 

The ups and downs of dating an older man 

So, are women attracted to older men? Like most things in life, the answer is somewhere in the middle of yes and no. To some, dating an older man gives them a sense of being around someone who’s wiser and more knowledgeable about the world. 

Psychologist Şeker notes that

Dating an older man has psychological complexities. Such relationships, often defying social norms, may face judgment, leading to challenges for the couple. Differences in experiences, interests, and life stages can cause incompatibilities, such as diverging career goals and retirement plans. However, the older partner’s experience can bring depth and stability.

These relationships offer mutual enrichment and personal growth opportunities, with the younger partner benefiting from guidance. Success in these relationships hinges on healthy dynamics, including open communication, mutual understanding, and respect.

Nevertheless, most couples are only a few years apart, although the man is regularly the older partner. The experts have a range of suggestions for this, including social expectations, genes, and resource management. 

In the end, it doesn’t matter how old anybody is. Just make sure you can align your goals and approach to life. Women who love older men or even younger men might still turn to a relationship therapist to get advice on how to make that alignment. 

Or, as Bob Marley said, “if she’s amazing, she won’t be easy … if she’s worth it, you won’t give up”. This works both ways, whether you’re dating an older man or not.