5 Practical Tips for Dating a Divorced Man

Listen to this article

When you least expect it, someone will come into your life and change it – literally.

When it comes to love, don’t waste your time focusing your energy on looking for someone within your “preferences” because the reality is we don’t control who we fall in love with.

Of course, we want to date someone who is independent and single but what if you find yourself falling for a divorced man? What if dating a divorced man gives you all the unquenching thrill? Do you get high for dating a recently divorced man?

And last but not least, how prepared are you to face the challenges of dating a divorced man? If you find yourself confused at this point, read on for effective advice and tips for dating a divorced man.

Is dating a divorced man worth it?

Of course, it can be! Deciding whether or not to date a divorced man is a personal choice that depends on a variety of factors. 

While some may view a man’s previous marriage as a red flag, it’s important to consider the circumstances of the divorce and how he has moved on from it. 

Communication and honesty are key in any relationship, so it’s important to have open and honest conversations about expectations and past experiences before deciding if it’s worth pursuing a relationship with a divorced man.

5 advantages of dating a divorced man

Talking about the advantages of courting a divorced man, there can be multiple aspects for you to have positive experiences with him. Here are some of them.

1. Emotional maturity

One of the advantages of dating a divorced man is that he may have gained emotional maturity from his past experiences. Going through a divorce can be a challenging and introspective process that allows a person to reflect on their actions and emotions. 

This can result in a man who is more self-aware and better equipped to handle the ups and downs of a relationship.

LMHC Grady Shumway points out,

Additionally, getting a divorce can foster a deeper understanding of relationships, communication, and personal growth, potentially leading to more fulfilling and resilient partnerships in the future.

2. Relationship experience

A divorced man has been in a committed relationship before and knows what it takes to make one work. He has likely learned from his mistakes and is more prepared to navigate the challenges of a relationship. This can lead to a more fulfilling and stable relationship.

3. Independence

A divorced man has already established his independence and may be less likely to be clingy or needy in a relationship. He has likely learned to be self-sufficient and knows how to take care of himself.

4. Communication skills

A man who has been through a divorce has likely learned the importance of good communication in a relationship. 

He has likely had to work through difficult conversations and knows how to express his thoughts and feelings in a constructive way. This can lead to a healthier and more communicative relationship.

Grady Shumway states,

 Additionally, he may have developed greater empathy and patience, making him more attentive to his partner’s needs and concerns..

5. Clear priorities

A divorced man has likely had to reassess his priorities and figure out what is truly important to him. This can lead to a man who is more focused on his career, his family, or his hobbies and who knows what he wants out of life. 

This can make for a more stable and fulfilling relationship, as both partners are clear on their priorities and goals.

5 disadvantages of dating a divorced man

Yes, there can be a certain downside to dating a man who has been married before. One of the tips for dating a divorced man is to be aware of the disadvantages of dating one. Here are some.

1. Emotional baggage

One of the disadvantages of dating a divorced man is that he may have emotional baggage from his past relationship. 

He may have trust issues, fear of commitment, or unresolved feelings that can affect his current relationship. This can be a challenge to navigate and may require patience and understanding from both partners.

2. Family complications

A divorced man may have children from his previous marriage, which can add a layer of complexity to the relationship. 

The ex-spouse may also be involved in their lives, which can lead to tension and conflict. It’s important to have clear communication and boundaries to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

3. Financial obligations

A divorced man may have financial obligations from his previous marriage, such as alimony or child support, which can affect his current financial situation. This can be a source of stress and may require some adjustments in the relationship.

4. Trust issues

A man who has been through a divorce may have trust issues that can affect his ability to fully commit to a new relationship. 

He may be hesitant to open up or may have a fear of being hurt again. This can be a challenge to overcome and may require patience and understanding from his partner.

5. Comparison to ex-spouse

A divorced man may unintentionally compare his new partner to his ex-spouse, which can be hurtful and damaging to the relationship. It’s important to have open communication and to address any concerns or issues as they arise rather than letting them fester and cause further damage.

Watch relationship expert Susan Winter discuss ‘comparing yourself to your partner’s ex’ in the video below:

Some common challenges of dating a divorced man

No matter how many tips for dating a divorced man you are aware of, there are going to be challenges. 

Expect a lot of adjustments, expect that you might have to cancel plans unexpectedly, and expect that this person has and most likely, will be dealing with past issues going forward.

As they say, if a person is important to you, then you can overcome the challenges if you wish to continue loving a divorced man.

Here are the most common challenges of dating a divorced man.

1. Commitment won’t come easy

If you think it’s just women who get traumatized by commitment after divorce, then you’re wrong. Men also feel this way. No matter what the cause of the divorce is, it’s still breaking the vows that they have promised each other.

For some, dating can still be fun, but when they feel that it’s getting serious, they might feel that they need to get out of the relationship before they get hurt again. You need to assess things. 

Is this man ready to get serious again or do you feel that he’s just looking at dating girls right now?

2. Take it slow

This may be one of the challenges that you’ll be facing when you choose to date a divorced man. As he won’t easily be ready to commit, the relationship would, of course, take a slower pace than the usual relationships that you know.

He may be a little reserved so don’t expect to meet his friends or family yet. Also, as frustrating as it may seem, don’t nag him about it or take it against him. Rather, it’s better to understand where he is coming from.

Enjoy your relationship and take it a little slow.

3. Expectations vs. reality

Remember how expectations hurt? Remember this especially if the man you’re dating is a divorcee.

You can’t expect him to be there for you every time you need him, especially when he has kids. Don’t expect him to ask you to move in with him just like in your previous relationships.

Know that this reality will be different than your expectations. One of the major challenges of dating a divorced man is that you will need to understand that he has a past with people and responsibilities.

4. Finance issues might be present

Be ready for this one.

You need to know the difference between dating a divorcee and a single guy without responsibilities. There are times when the divorce process may not be final or has taken a toll on the guy’s finances.

Don’t take it against him if he can’t treat you in a fancy restaurant or on a grand vacation.

There will also be times when he’d suggest that you just have take-out dinner and eat in your house rather than in a restaurant, so don’t think that he’s not willing to spend money on you – understand that this will happen.

5. Kids will come first

This may be the toughest challenge of dating a divorced man or dating someone divorced altogether especially when you’re not really into kids. Loving a divorced man is tough, but if the guy you’re dating has kids, then by no means he’ll choose you over them. This is the logical but hard truth that you need to accept before getting into a relationship.

LMHC Grady Shumway points out,

It’s essential to understand and respect his commitment to his children, as they will always be a priority in his life. Open communication and mutual understanding about each other’s needs and boundaries can help navigate this aspect of the relationship with compassion and empathy.

There will be times when he will cancel your date when his kids call or if the kids need him. 

There will be times when he won’t let you come into his house as his kids aren’t ready to meet you and many more situations where you might feel that you can’t have him all by yourself.

6. Dealing with the ex

How to deal with a divorced man while he is already dealing with his ex-partner?

If you think handling time and his kids is hard, you may also need to face the challenge of hearing a lot from his ex-wife.

This may depend on their situation, there are times when ex-spouses remain friends and there are some who will still have disputes over custody and so on.

The kids will also have a lot to say especially when they first meet you. You can hear a lot of “my mom” words so be ready not to be too sensitive about it.

Related Reading: Communicating With Ex: 5 Rules to Keep in Mind

Can you handle the challenges?

All of these challenges may seem overwhelming and too much to deal with. It can be hard but the key here is that you are able to assess yourself first and the person you love before deciding to go through the relationship.

Just utilize the tips for dating a divorced man that are mentioned here and keep making an effort if you really want to be in this relationship.

If you think you’re not ready to face these challenges of dating someone recently divorced or if you realize you can but you are not sure – don’t go through it and give yourself some time instead.

This may not be the advice that you are looking for but it’s the right thing to do.

Why? Simple – if you realize this in the middle of the relationship, then you are most likely to back out on the relationship and this will cause yet another heartbreak to the guy you are dating.

Spare him this if you are not a hundred percent sure that you can accept him as he is and that you are willing to take on the challenges of dating a divorced man.

Dating a divorced man? 5 tips you must know 

There’s no manual on how to date a divorced man; it must crop up from experience and emotions. Now that we have discussed the disadvantages and the benefits of dating a divorced man let’s delve into some much-needed tips for dating a divorced man. 

Be open and honest

Dating a divorced man with trust issues is no joke and you must put in effort to win his faith in you.

It’s important to have open communication from the beginning of the relationship. Be upfront about your expectations and any concerns you may have. This can help to establish trust and build a stronger foundation for the relationship.

Take things slow

Taking things as they come, slowly and patiently, is one of the best tips for dating a divorced man. Invest in understanding the divorced man you’re going to date.

A man who has been through a divorce may need more time to process his emotions and adjust to a new relationship. It’s important to be patient and understanding and to take things at a pace that feels comfortable for both partners.

Respect his boundaries

Respecting your partner’s boundaries is not just one of the best tips for dating a divorced man but is an all-time dating advice.

A divorced man may have boundaries that he needs to establish in order to feel comfortable in a new relationship. It’s important to respect these boundaries and to work together to establish a healthy and respectful relationship.

Related Reading: 6 Types of Boundaries in Relationships & How to Maintain Them

Be supportive

Going through a divorce can be a difficult and emotional process. It’s important to be supportive of your partner and to offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on when needed.

Don’t compare yourself to his ex

It’s important to remember that your partner’s past relationship is just that – in the past. Avoid comparing yourself to his ex-spouse, and instead, focus on building a strong and healthy relationship with your partner. Remember that every relationship is unique and that your partner is with you for a reason.

Frequently asked questions

This next section deals with questions people usually find useful to ask and finds answers to while educating themselves on tips for dating a divorced man. Read on and check yourself.

• What are the red flags in dating a divorced man?

Red flags when dating a divorced man can include unresolved emotional baggage, an inability to commit, ongoing conflict with the ex-spouse, and a lack of communication or trust. 

It’s important to be aware of these warning signs and to address any concerns early on in the relationship to avoid potential problems down the line.

• Is it a good idea to date a divorced man?

Whether or not it’s a good idea to date a divorced man depends on the individual circumstances. While there can be challenges and potential red flags, a divorced man may also bring emotional maturity, relationship experience, and clear priorities to a new relationship. 

It’s important to have open communication and to assess the relationship on a case-by-case basis.

Love shall conquer the challenges

Dating a divorced man can have its advantages and disadvantages, but it can also be a happy and fulfilling experience. 

By being aware of potential red flags, taking things slow, and building a strong foundation of trust and communication, a relationship with a divorced man can be just as rewarding as any other relationship. Feel free to reach out for external support even if it means seeking relationship counseling.

Ultimately, whether or not to date a divorced man is a personal decision that should be based on individual circumstances and priorities, and with patience, understanding, and effort, it can lead to a happy and long-lasting partnership.