Can an Unhealthy Relationship Be Changed to a Healthy One?

Rachael Pace, Author

Rachael Pace

Expertise: Mental health, Parenting

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

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Updated: 26 Feb, 2023

Table of Contents

Unhealthy patterns hurt trust and can include abuse, manipulation, or constant drama, but you can choose safety, honest conversation, and steady, caring steps to grow closer.
Reform starts with intention and ownership, not just willingness, plus self-reflection, a sincere apology, and a promise not to repeat old hurts, so you can heal together.
Healing comes from feeling seen and heard through compassionate, nonjudgmental communication that builds connection, fosters forgiveness, and creates a calmer, more loving partnership.

Love is meant to bring serenity and steadiness in everyone’s life. The whole idea of love revolves around giving and bestowing. However, there is a fine line between idealistic love and realistic love.

The parameters of love vary from couple to couple. It heavily depends on the set of values two people share. It depends on their natures as well as the way they have been brought up.

Before we delve deeper into whether or not an unhealthy relationship has the tendency to turn into a healthy relationship, we are obliged to know what separates an unhealthy relationship from a healthy relationship.

Prime symptoms of an unhealthy relationship

1. Physical, Mental, Verbal and emotional abuse

These are the worst abuses one may get when in an unhealthy relationship. Couples who are habitual of invoking mental, physical, verbal and emotional abuse are stuck in an unhealthy relationship. This abuse-cycle strengthens its roots day after day if not heeded at an early or intermediate stage.

Couples who often exchange harsh words and do not leave an opportunity to make each other feel small are the most despicably unhealthy couples. Emotional and mental abuse is very likely to reach the next level; physical abuse. If all four things begin to exist, remain assured, it’s the final nail in the coffin.

2. Manipulation and Gaslighting

Psychological abuse is another big sign of an unhealthy relationship. Manipulating somebody into doing what you require them to do is an indication of an evil tactic. Some people tend to use psychological abuse in a relationship to achieve their targets.

If one of the two partners plays psychological and emotional games to exploit the other without even letting them guess, it is sure to be an unhealthy bond.

3. Too much Hysteria

If there are not many peaceful moments in a couple’s life, and there are more hysteria and emotional hype, then it is nowhere near to a healthy relationship.

Little things trigger you both, and you fall into the trap of action/reaction thing; it ascertains over-possessiveness. Being impulsive and hyper is a toxic habit none of the partners should have.

Your emotions should not go to a level where there is a loss of reason.

The conundrum: can it be reformed?

After identifying the reasons causing an unhealthy relationship, the question arises whether you can reform your unhealthy relationship or not. It’s a nod. You can rescue your unhealthy relationship; however, you should note some things.

1. It takes a strong will to save your relationship

It takes a strong will to save your relationship

First and foremost, you need to be willing. You need to be strongly willing to change your relationship type, from unhealthy to healthy.

Where there is a will, there is a way!

If you keep the cribbing jags up, without having a sincere desire to make your relationship healthy, it will be a waste of energy.

2. It takes a lot of retrospection

If you are willing to change things for good, you need to look into your own collar first. It doesn’t mean that you should not be helping your partner realize their mistakes but start with yourself.

Realize where and when you went wrong. Dig deep into your wrongdoings. Do not ignore your ignorance. Make yourself pure-hearted enough to see your mistakes, and strong enough to accept them.

3. It takes guts to own your faults and the will to work on them

You are a braveheart if you can show the valor to accept your own faults. The best thing is to take your faults into account and be willing to work on them.

Humans often commit mistakes and sometimes grave mistakes. The one who admits their mistakes is the next-level human being.

4. It takes courage to sincerely apologize

Sorry is a five-letter word which seems easy to pronounce but becomes difficult to utter with intent. When you feel sorry, you should muster the courage to tell somebody that you are sorry.

While you apologize, it should not be in a formal tone. You should express yourself meticulously. Tell your partner how egregious it is to bear the guilt.

5. It takes a pledge to ‘never repeat’ your mistakes

You should promise each other never to reiterate the unhealthy things. Once you sort bitter things out, you should never let them reappear.

Once you have the turmoil undone, you got to be careful that you do not click the destruction button again.

6. It takes a big heart to forgive and be forgiven

When two people open their hearts to each other and accept all the wrongs they did to one another, it relieves them of all the tension. Forgive and advocate yourself well enough to be forgiven.

You are not likely to keep grudges after hearing a sincere apology; similarly, you deserve to be forgiven. Ultimately, it’s a win-win situation!

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less