16 Powerful Benefits of Vulnerability in Relationships

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Vulnerability is seen as a key ingredient of close and lasting relationships. Yet, when it comes to opening up, we all struggle. 

We seek intimacy and connection, yet often we are afraid of being truly exposed. 

As humans, we are hardwired for connections with others. It could be because of the immense benefits social connections have for us. 

Science has confirmed multiple mental and physical benefits like longer life expectancy, healthier habits, lessened stress effects, and a sense of meaning in life. 

However, despite our inclination towards intimacy, we often resist vulnerability in relationships. 

How do we become more vulnerable in relationships, and why should we want it? What are the effects vulnerability has on relationships? 

First, let’s define what vulnerability is and what is not. 

What is vulnerability?

So, what does vulnerability mean? 

The core of vulnerability is consciously choosing to share emotions or desires with others regardless of how they might see you or react. 

Being vulnerable in relationships means choosing to openly disclose your feelings and bravely say “I love you” first. Showing vulnerability in a relationship means expressing emotions, although we are unsure how the other will respond. 

Being vulnerable means being ready to be exposed to disagreements with others or even to rejection. That is why vulnerability, although sounds simple, is much more demanding. 

The core of vulnerability in relationships is, being willing to accept the potential for negative consequences and sticking your neck out, although you can’t control the outcome. 

Despite the risk, vulnerability in relationships is the driving force of connection and intimacy and is key to successful and lasting relationships.

What vulnerability is not?

Vulnerability has become a buzz word and gets distorted often. So, what vulnerability is not? 

Being vulnerable in relationships doesn’t mean oversharing and giving a person abundance of personal details. 

Vulnerability means taking a risk and showing the most intimate sides of ourselves while living with the risk of them not accepting us. 

Being vulnerable in relationships means taking a risk you might be rejected, but exposing yourself nonetheless. It is about the intention to connect with another by sharing the deepest, most authentic parts of ourselves. 

Oversharing, on the other hand, might indicate a lack of boundaries rather than vulnerability. 

Furthermore, vulnerability is often connected with weakness. However, being vulnerable in relationships is a sign of strength and courage. 

In Daring Greatly, Brene Brown says, “Choose courage over comfort.” Vulnerability is the courage to be present and allow others to see us when we can’t control the outcome whatsoever.

16 Benefits of vulnerability in relationships

Knowing the risks of feeling rejected or ashamed that vulnerability in relationships carries, why would we opt for embracing it? Why is vulnerability important? 

The power of being vulnerable lies in the effects it has on our relationships. Vulnerability in relationships has multiple benefits:

1. Increases the chance of having our needs met

 If we dare to ask for what we truly want, we might actually get it. If you never ask, the answer is surely no. 

2. Improves our sense of authenticity and worthiness 

When you start advocating for your needs, you start feeling better about yourself. You send an important message to yourself, “my needs matter, and so do I.”

3. Builds trust in relationships

When we show the softer side of us to our partner, and they accept us, our faith in them increases. They were there for us when we felt the most defenseless. 

4. Helps you pick a healthy relationship  

Opening up to a partner is a true testament to the strength of a relationship. How your partner will receive the real you is an important test of the relationship. 

If they know or are willing to learn how to be there for you in times of your revelation, the relationship will thrive. 

If this is not their cup of tea, at least you will know on time and have an opportunity to choose differently. 

5. Makes you feel genuinely supported and comforted

Intimacy is a significant source of comfort and predictability in an otherwise unpredictable world. 

We can only receive said support and comfort if we open up to our partner about what we are going through. 

6. Lets you be truly loved

“If you always put a mask around others, you will always get what you don’t need.” If you want to feel truly accepted and recognized, you need to expose the inner parts of you to that possibility. 

If you always put up a strong suit, you will never know you can be loved even though you feel weak.

7. Humanizing effect

Although we want our partner to see the best in us, trying to be perfect all the time won’t have a good effect on the relationship. Without allowing vulnerability in relationships, we might seem too distant, polished, and inaccessible.

Vulnerability in relationships humanizes us and makes us more relatable. It opens the doors to connect and eventually have a mutually supportive relationship.

8. Increased intimacy

After conducting thousands of interviews as a part of her research, Brene Brown said, “There can be no intimacy—emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, physical intimacy—without vulnerability.” 

A lasting relationship is one where we feel intimate and united, and the path to it is through vulnerability. 

9. Stronger empathy

The more we know someone’s deepest thoughts, fears, and desires, the more we can understand their perspective and empathize with what they are going through. 

Since empathy is a significant factor for the satisfaction of long-term relationships, we can say that the more vulnerability there is, the more empathy there is and, therefore, higher satisfaction with the relationship.

10. Increased self-love

When our partner supports and accepts us in our most vulnerable and fragile state over things we dislike about ourselves, we might start to accept ourselves more as a result. 

Since we value their opinion and they cherish us for who we are, we can start to embrace, otherwise shunned, parts of ourselves. 

That kind of appreciation will surely increase the satisfaction and longevity of the relationship. 

11. Feeling truly loved for who we are

How much you are open to love, that much love belongs to you. The more you open up and risk exposure, the more validated and loved you can be. 

How can someone love something they never saw or experienced? 

Allowing our partner to see the deepest desires and fears can lead to feeling truly understood and loved. And a relationship of that quality has the potential for a lifetime of happiness. 

12. Having the right person by our side 

If you want to make sure you have the right person by your side, show them who you really are, and observe how they react. 

When they get to know you, you can tell if there is the type of acceptance and support that you need. 

If you can both receive the love you need, that is a recipe for a lasting and happy relationship. 

13. Creates trust 

Imagine sharing something you find hurtful, or you are ashamed of and receive approval and comfort? 

When our partner approaches with respect and consideration, our deepest fears and embarrassments, we can trust them even more. And, we all know trust is the backbone of lasting relationships.

14. Facilitates change and growth  

Brene Brown, in her famous TED Talk on the power of vulnerability, says: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change.”

If we want a lasting relationship, we need to be ready to grow and change together. Life will send trials your way, and your relationship’s endurance will depend on your ability to adapt to it together.

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15. Dealing with negative emotions

Vulnerability in relationships is also about expressing negative emotions and objections.

Sharing how you are influencing each other is the essence of vulnerability and key for a long and happy relationship. Running away from conflicts won’t help with relationship success.

16. Reestablish intimacy after being hurt

In any long-term relationship, there will be times you hurt each other (hopefully unintentionally). Recovering after an event like that can be accelerated through vulnerability. 

How is that?

When we can see someone is truly sorry for what they did and acknowledge how they hurt us, we can begin to trust again. Therefore, being vulnerable helps the other person see the honesty in our apology and the goodness in our intentions.

How to show more vulnerability in your relationship?

If you are wondering how to be more vulnerable in relationships and not sure where to start, there are steps to help you on this journey. 

1. Ease into it

Start by doing what you can, not by what you can’t. 

It sounds simple, yet we all make the mistake of concentrating on a milestone we are not yet ready for. 

If you want to be able to open up more, start being vulnerable more often. First, within your comfort zone, to practice vulnerability in relationships, keep iterating, and improve every day. 

The boundaries of your comfort zone will expand, and eventually, you will be doing the things you couldn’t do in the beginning. 

2. Understand why you need emotional walls

As children, we learn by observing. We might think we need to shield ourselves, although it is no longer the case. 

What are the key messages you received about being open as a child and young adult? What are the reasons you feel you need to avoid being vulnerable in relationships? 

Knowing where the fears of vulnerability are stemming from helps you resolve them. 

3. Slow down and observe 

If you are used to avoiding sharing your feelings, or you are in the habit of suppressing them, you can easily lose sight of what you actually feel. 

Try to be more present and question yourself about the sensations and emotions you experience at that moment. Journal, meditate, or opt for therapy to increase your understanding of your emotional life.

4. Share your struggles 

While you are learning to be more open, talk to your partner about your struggles with vulnerability in relationships. It will increase their patience and empathy for you. 

Even if at the moment all you can share is that you are not a person that shares easily, go for it. This is a path to granting them a small window to your inner world.

5. Express your emotions and needs more 

Be honest about your opinions, wants, and emotions. Share a bit more every time. Find the point in which you feel you are outside of your comfort zone but not feeling too exposed. 

Being vulnerable means sharing how you truly feel, so practice on a daily basis. 

Chances are you can think of a person who opened up to you and remember you actually reacted with kindness. People respond compassionately to gestures of vulnerability. 

Have that in mind when you start to worry or anticipate rejection. 

6. Seek help 

The more you ask for help, the more support you can receive. And this will prompt you to ask and share more. 

Also, it becomes easier to express worries, insecurities with your loved one and build intimacy. 

If you are struggling, there is always professional help too. A psychologist can help you uncover the root of your fears and start to open up more to achieve ls of intimacy levels. 

Embrace vulnerability in relationships 

The importance of vulnerability in relationships lies in the effect it has on our relationships. Showing vulnerability in a relationship helps us increase trust, intimacy, self-love, and feel appreciated and recognized. 

A sense of deep connection and intimacy is only possible if we are willing to risk being open and vulnerable. 

Many of us have deep, often subconscious fears regarding vulnerability in relationships. If you are wondering about how to express vulnerability, you don’t have to know all the answers. Just take it one step at a time. 

No one got better at something overnight, so be kind to yourself and be open about your struggles with your partner. 

Have the courage to reveal yourselves a bit more every day with people you care about, and this openness will strengthen your connections.