10 Signs You’re in an Exploitative Relationship

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Are you in an exploitative relationship?

Most people would say no, but sometimes it can be hard to tell your partner’s true intentions.

Being exploited in a relationship starts with little things and before we can recognize what’s happening, one becomes a victim.

Dealing with a romantic partner that exploits you isn’t easy, especially if you are in love with the person. Do you know if your partner is exploiting you or not? Read more to find out. 

What does it mean to exploit someone?

Exploitation means using someone unfairly, usually to your advantage. This could mean using someone for money, sexual favors, rides, or even a place to live.

You can learn how to tell if someone is taking advantage of you by monitoring how you feel when you’re together, gauging your partner’s honesty, and watching how they treat you.

Do you feel you’re being exploited in a romantic relationship? Read on for the top 10 signs your spouse is using you.

Examples of being exploited in a relationship

Looking for exploitative relationship examples? Read below.

Examples of being exploited in a relationship include having one’s needs consistently disregarded, being manipulated or coerced into actions against one’s will, experiencing financial or emotional abuse, and feeling constantly taken advantage of without receiving equal respect, care, or reciprocity.

10 signs you’re being exploited in a romantic relationship

Being exploited in relationships is terrible. But what if you don’t even know your spouse is manipulating you?

Some people are so experienced at pulling the wool over their partner’s eyes that it can be hard to see through their love goggles.

Do you feel like there’s a chance you are being exploited in a romantic relationship?

Keep reading to find out how to tell if someone is taking advantage of you.

1. Your relationship moved at lightning speed

The happiest couples are the ones who focus on commitment, communication, intimacy, sex, and conflict resolution, as reported in the Journal of Epidemiology and Health.

In healthy relationships, it takes time to build these pillars.

In exploitative relationships, a partner will try to rush things along, moving at lightning speed to say “I love you” or move in together.

That’s because the quicker they have your trust, the easier it will be to get what they want from you.

2. Your partner is dishonest

What is an exploitative relationship? The one where honesty is completely and intentionally missing.

One of the most significant signs you are being used by your romantic partner is if they always seem to be lying about something.

If you feel like your partner is dishonest about something, trust your gut instinct. Lying about their past, whereabouts, and intentions are clear warning signs that you are being exploited in a romantic relationship. How they treat you is one of the signs. 

3. You don’t feel good when you’re together

A healthy relationship will leave you feeling like you’re on top of the world. You will feel funny, charming, sexy, and confident.

On the other hand, an exploitative relationship will have you questioning your self-worth. You won’t feel strong and adored when you’re together – at least, not for very long.

4. There is a power imbalance

The exploitative relationship definition can be understood in terms of the feeling (or lack of) of emotional security and teamwork when partners are together.

As per Christiana Njoku,

In this kind of relationship, the exploitative partner is always in charge and they dictates what goes on in the relationship.

When considering ‘what does it mean to exploit someone?’ consider the power imbalance as a prime example.

You have a power imbalance in your relationship if:

• One partner is in a position of authority over the other, perhaps at work
• One spouse is highly controlling and uses threats or manipulation to get their way
• One partner makes all the decisions and does not consult their spouse
• One spouse makes significantly more money than the other/controls how the money is spent

Not only is a power imbalance in your relationship one of the most prominent signs you are being used, but it can also affect you psychologically.

A 2016 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that those possessing low relationship power experienced greater feelings of aggression, particularly when trying to communicate.

Being exploited in a romantic relationship means that you are made to feel helpless to some degree, and what makes you feel more vulnerable than a power imbalance?

5. Your self-esteem has taken a dip

One tip for telling if someone is taking advantage of you is to consider how you feel when you’re together.

Does your partner build you up or tear you down?

If you are in an exploitative relationship, your self-esteem is probably at an all-time low.

And like the master manipulator they are, your spouse probably knows exactly how to build you up before pulling the rug out from under you.

6. They use guilt as a weapon

Guilt is a powerful weapon when it comes to being exploited in relationships. It is also one of the big signs that you are being used.

Just as Christiana Njoku emphasized in one of her courses Danger Signs of Obsessive Love,

The moment you discover your partner guilt tripping you in the relationship, just know that you are with an exploitative partner.

Your spouse may use guilt to control or manipulate you. It may even seem sweet at first; “Aw, babe, do you have to go? Stay here and cuddle with me instead!”

Or, the manipulation may be more pointed; “I can’t believe you’re going out when I canceled my plans last week for you. I’m always sacrificing for you, and I never get anything in return.” How is that fair?

To understand emotional manipulation tactics, watch this video:

7. You’re being kept from loved ones

Want to know how to tell if someone is taking advantage of you? Just look at the way they treat your closest loved ones. Isolation is a form of exploitative behavior.

Do they value your alone time with friends and family, or do they make subtle (or not-so-subtle) hints that you should stay home and hang out with them instead?

It may seem sweet at first – after all, your partner wanting your attention all the time is kind of flattering! However, such isolation tactics are typical signs you are being used.

If your partner has slowly been severing the emotional or physical ties between you and your friends or family, pay attention.

One study published in the Violence Vict found that younger women often experience higher isolation rates from a partner. This is because isolation tends to make you reliant on your partner.

Licensed Counselor Christiana Njoku states that, 

If your partner keeps isolating you from reaching out to your family, friends, and loved ones in the relationship, then be rest assured it is one way for them to keep using you.

Isolation makes it seem like your spouse is the only person that cares about you and may even make you feel like you have no one who would support you if you tried to leave your relationship.

8. They zero in on your insecurities

What does it mean to exploit someone? It means narrowing down someone’s biggest insecurities and using them to your advantage.

A loving partner helps you work through your insecurities and boosts your self-confidence. In contrast, a spouse in an exploitative relationship will use any weakness against you to get what they want.

9. You’re always the one paying for things

One of the most obvious signs you are being used by your partner is if they always seem to be out of money.

• Do you pay for everything?
• Does your partner blatantly ask you for money, which they never pay back?
• Do they automatically assume you’ll be the one shelling out cash for dinner, rent, or vacations?

If your partner cares more about your money than your mind, take it as a warning sign that you are being exploited in a romantic relationship.

10. They gaslight you

Want to know how to tell if someone is taking advantage of you?

Look back on your history with your partner and pinpoint when you felt confused, manipulated, or made to feel like you were the wrong person even though you knew deep down that you hadn’t done anything wrong.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in an exploitative relationship. By gaslighting, the abuser tries to make their victim believe they are crazy through a series of manipulative tactics.

They play so many mind games that the victim eventually questions their sanity or otherwise just assumes that it must be their fault when something is going wrong.

Gaslighting is unhealthy, creates a power imbalance, and is also emotionally damaging.

How to deal with being exploited in a romantic relationship

Communication is key.

What does it mean to exploit someone? Consider the answer before you go to your partner with your concerns. You may even want to make a list of your spouse’s most concerning behavior before speaking with them.

If your partner is not receptive to change, you should respectfully leave the relationship.

Now that you know the signs you are being used by your spouse, it’s time to figure out how to avoid them in the future.

Here are 5 tips to deal with relationship exploitation:

1. Recognize the signs

Educate yourself about the signs of exploitation in relationships, such as manipulative behavior, controlling actions, constant disregard for your needs, or financial abuse. Understanding these signs is the first step toward acknowledging the problem.

2. Establish boundaries

Clearly define and assert your boundaries. Communicate your needs and expectations openly with your partner. Set limits on what you are willing to accept and make it clear that exploitation is not acceptable in the relationship.

3. Seek support

Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can provide guidance and support. Talking about your experiences with someone who can provide an outside perspective can help you gain clarity and develop a plan of action.

4. Prioritize self-care

Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and boost your self-esteem. Practice self-compassion and self-care to rebuild your sense of worth and regain control over your life.

5. Consider exiting the relationship

If the exploitation continues despite your efforts to address it, it may be necessary to consider leaving the exploitative relationship. 

Exiting a toxic situation can be challenging, but your safety and well-being should be the top priority. Seek professional help, such as through relationship counseling or a support organization, to assist you in creating an exit strategy and providing resources for a safe transition.

How does an exploitative relationship impact you?

An exploitative relationship can have a significant impact on your well-being. It can erode your self-esteem, cause emotional and psychological harm, lead to feelings of powerlessness, and hinder your ability to trust others in future relationships.

Step out of the exploitative environment

If you feel you are being exploited in a romantic relationship, you should end things as soon as possible. Your peace of mind should come first.

If you fear your partner will turn aggressive if you try to leave, contact a trusted friend, family member, or police and explain what is going on.

Having backup with you when you are getting your things or making your initial breakup can be excellent protection.

Remember that with a patient mind and determination, you can break yourself free from this chain of toxicity.