How to Be Submissive in a Relationship: 21 Practical Ways

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When you hear the word ‘submissive,’ what’s the first thought that comes to your mind?

The word submission can trigger different reactions from different people.

People may view submission as a form of inequality among genders. Some may also think that it only applies in the bedroom, and for others, a form of surrender of their personality.

The reality is that learning how to be submissive in a relationship is about understanding its true context.

If we fully understand the submissive meaning of a relationship, we’ll realize that it can be as positive as love.

First, we need to clarify the definition of “What is submissiveness?” and differentiate it from the misconception about submission in a relationship.

What do you mean by being submissive in a relationship?

So, what does submissiveness mean in a relationship?

Being submissive in a relationship means willingly giving power or control to your partner, respecting their decisions, and valuing their needs and desires. 

It’s like being a team player, where both partners support and uplift each other. 

For example, imagine you and your partner are planning a vacation. You listen to their preferences, consider their ideas, and work together to choose a destination that makes both of you happy.

What are the signs of submissiveness in a relationship?

In a relationship, being submissive refers to a dynamic where one partner willingly yields to the other, fostering a sense of harmony and balance. While every relationship is unique, there are some common signs that indicate a submissive nature. 

Here are 9 major signs of a submissive in a relationship:

• Willingness to compromise: Submissives are open to finding a middle ground and prioritizing their partner’s needs.
• Active listening: They pay close attention to their partner’s thoughts and feelings, showing empathy and understanding.
• Respectful behavior: Submissives value their partner’s opinions and treat them with kindness and courtesy.
• Desire to please: They genuinely want to make their partner happy, often going the extra mile to fulfill their wishes.
• Trust in their partner’s judgment: Submissives trust their partner’s decisions and respect their leadership.
• Supportive nature: They offer unwavering support, cheering on their partner’s goals and dreams.
• Adaptability: Submissives are flexible and willing to adjust their plans or preferences to accommodate their partner’s wishes.
• Emotional availability: They create a safe space for their partner to express themselves and provide comfort and reassurance.
• Appreciation of dominance: Submissives find fulfillment in the strength and guidance provided by their dominant partner.

What are the benefits of being submissive in a relationship?

While the concept of being submissive in a relationship may raise questions, it can bring several benefits to both partners involved. Being submissive doesn’t mean being weak or inferior but rather choosing to foster harmony and balance. 

Here are 5 key benefits of being submissive in a relationship:

• Enhanced trust and communication: Embracing submission promotes open and honest communication, fostering trust and a deeper connection.
• Increased emotional intimacy: Submissive partners often create a safe space for vulnerability, allowing for a stronger emotional bond.
• Mutual growth and self-improvement: By valuing their partner’s needs, submissives actively contribute to personal growth and self-improvement.
• Strengthened sense of partnership: Being submissive encourages a cooperative mindset, reinforcing the idea that both partners are equal contributors in the relationship.
• Heightened pleasure and satisfaction: Surrendering control can lead to greater sexual exploration and satisfaction, deepening intimacy and pleasure for both partners.

How to be submissive in a relationship: 21 ways

Now that we understand the real meaning of submission as a wife or husband, we need to know how to be submissive in a relationship.

Let’s look deeper into how to be more submissive in a relationship.

1. Respect your partner

The one thing your partner needs from you is respect.

It doesn’t matter who earns more or who works more. Giving the respect that your partner deserves is a form of fulfilling your mission as a spouse and a way of showing your love.

2. Communicate with each other

Another meaning of submission in a relationship is that you are open to communication.

The most common problem that couples have roots in a lack of communication. You also have to remember that your voice shouldn’t be silenced. Being able to voice your opinion is your right, but do it with tact.

3. Listen to your partner

How to be submissive in a relationship is learning how to listen to your spouse without interrupting.

According to marriage & family therapist Jelisha Gatling:

Note that it’s imperative that your relationship has built a strong sense of mutual trust in order for you to embody your submissive role fully.

Most often, we get too excited to share or oppose the idea of our partners that we don’t listen at all. You will have your own time to talk, but first, submit and listen. It is also a great way to show respect.

4. Show your partner that you trust them

A submissive partner allows themselves to trust wholeheartedly.

It is part of the covenant you have sworn together as a couple. You submit yourself to trust this person, and your partner should also do the same for you.

Trust is a foundation that will also make you feel secure and loved. It can help you grow, not just as a couple but as an individual.

5. Have a strong faith

If you have strong faith, your relationship will thrive.

However, there’s a misconception on this one. You should have a strong faith that is inside you, do not rely on anyone, even your partner, for your spiritual strength.

Each one of you should already have a strong faith. Together, it will be greater and will help you through your trials.

6. Allow your partner to provide

Most of us have work, and yes, if you are one independent and strong individual, that’s great.

Your partner sure knows this fact too.

However, a part of submission in a relationship means allowing them to provide. Allow them to prove to you that they can and that they are happy doing it.

7. Allow them to take the lead

It’s vital to allow your partner to be in charge.

This actually makes them feel that you trust their judgment and decisions. Aside from that, you will relieve yourself of some of the responsibilities in your marriage.

Your partner will also appreciate that you are allowing them to take the lead, and they’ll make you proud, that’s for sure.

8. Always ask for your partner’s opinion

Understandably, most individuals nowadays are really independent.

They can budget, buy everything the whole family needs, juggle all household chores, take care of their kids, etc.

Amazing, right? However, it’s still essential that you sometimes include your partner in these tasks.

For example, before buying a new refrigerator, you should ask your partner. Before you change sofas, do ask your partner what they think about it.

Professional counselor and relationship coach Christiana Njoku mentions that: 

To show that you cherish your partner and you are submissive to them, ensure you take into consideration their opinions.

It doesn’t matter if you are a hundred percent sure they’ll agree with you; it makes them feel important when you ask about their opinion.

9. Be sensitive to your partner’s needs

One of the great examples of submission in marriage is when you are sensitive to your partner’s needs.

Usually, we put our needs and wants first before our spouse or partner. If they also do this, you’re not submitting to the relationship, right?

Putting your partner’s needs and wants together may not be that easy at first, but if you’re both on the same level of maturity of love, then they would be doing the same as well.

10. Don’t speak negatively of your partner in front of others

If you want to know how to be submissive in a relationship, then remember this, do not speak negatively of your spouse – especially through social media and to other people.

Understandably, you would have fights, but that’s normal.

What’s not normal is you would go online and rant. Or you call other people and tell them what you hate about your spouse.

This will never help your relationship. Be discreet. Indeed, you don’t want your partner to talk about you behind your back, right?

You are a team. Ruining your partner’s reputation will ruin yours too.

11. Be intimate with your partner

Sex isn’t just relieving your carnal desires. Sexual submission goes beyond the passion quotient.

It also strengthens your bond. Another way to be submissive in a relationship is to put their pleasure first before yours.

12. Be your partner’s best friend

Submitting to a promise of mutual feelings and respect allows you to grow as a couple and as an individual.

This is where you will realize that you have become best friends. You’re each other’s companion, and you’re on the same page of love, goals, and faith.

13. Be the peacemaker of your household

A submissive wife will ensure that her home has peace.

Even if there are misunderstandings and problems, someone has to make sure that there will be peace in your relationship and home.

14. Maintain your home

What is being submissive in a relationship? Is it that one partner should always be the one to maintain the home all by themselves?

That’s not what we mean. After all, you’re not Cinderella, right?

We are not telling you that you should become a slave in your own home. 

Instead, you should take the responsibility and the joy of keeping your house a home. Your partner will also take part in this.

15. Allow your partner to have a say in your finances

Even if you have your own money, letting your partner know about your spending is an act of respect.

You wanted to buy a luxury bag, and you saved for it. Still, it’s better to let your partner know.

Surely, you would want your partner to do the same with you, right?

16. Be more patient

Being a submissive wife, you should start bringing peace by staying calm.

For the sake of your love and marriage, learn to be patient and calm. Avoid confrontation when you are both angry – this will lead to a more negative outcome. Control your emotions and see how it works.

17. Assist your partner

As a submissive partner, let your spouse know that if ever they need anything from you – you’re there.

It will make them feel a lot stronger once they know that they can count on you as a partner in life and decisions.

18. Be grateful

Another easy way how to be submissive in your relationship is always to be grateful to your partner.

A grateful heart will give you a good life, and that’s true. Focus on this person’s positive traits, efforts, and love.

Here are some mindful tips on how to be grateful in life:

19. Give your partner privacy

To submit to your partner means that you need to allow them to have their privacy.

As marriage mentor Christiana Njoku explains:

Giving your partner time alone shows you value and respect their boundaries, just as you value and respect yours. That alone is what submission is all about.

If we want to keep ours, then our spouse has the right to keep theirs too. Not only will this make them feel that you trust and respect them, but they will also appreciate the gesture.

20. Focus on your partner’s positive traits

There will be times when you would feel anger, resentment, and even that feeling that you want to give up.

When you feel this way, take time and remember all the positive traits of the person you love. We all make mistakes, and if we focus on those mistakes, our judgment will be clouded.

21. Practice humility

Practicing humility and letting go of the need to always be in control is an important aspect of being submissive in a relationship. It involves recognizing that your partner’s perspectives, opinions, and decisions are valuable and worthy of consideration. Here’s an elaboration on this point:

FAQs

Being submissive in a relationship can bring its own set of challenges and questions. Here are some commonly asked questions addressing the challenges, misconceptions, self-awareness, communication, and common activities associated with being submissive

• What are the challenges of being submissive in a relationship?

Challenges may include finding the right balance, maintaining individuality, and addressing potential misconceptions, but open communication, trust, and understanding can help navigate these challenges together.

• Is being submissive a sign of weakness?

Being submissive is not a sign of weakness. It’s a personal choice that requires strength, self-awareness, and a willingness to prioritize your partner’s needs while maintaining healthy boundaries and mutual respect.

• How do I know if I am submissive?

You may be submissive if you find fulfillment in supporting your partner, prioritizing their desires, and experiencing satisfaction through acts of service, trust, and surrendering control. Self-reflection and open discussions with your partner can help you understand your preferences better.

• How can I communicate my desire to be submissive in a relationship to my partner?

Open, honest communication is vital. Share your desires, boundaries, and fantasies with your partner in a non-judgmental and safe environment. Discuss your expectations, listen to their perspective, and work together to establish a dynamic that feels comfortable for both.

• What are some common submissive examples in a relationship?

Activities can vary based on personal preferences, but common examples include practicing rituals, engaging in power dynamics, exploring BDSM elements (with consent and communication), role-playing, and focusing on acts of service, trust, and pleasure that fulfill both partners’ desires. Remember, consent and communication are key in all activities.

Maintaining the harmony of your relationship

We all have our own roles when we enter a relationship.

Submitting to your partner doesn’t mean that you are giving up your voice, freedom, and happiness. It also doesn’t mean that you will be under a dominant wife or husband who will abuse and control your life.

Submission to your partner simply means that you will be on a mission to love, respect, and grow together.

You are submitting yourself to your partner and the relationship.

How to be submissive in a relationship will take different steps. Submitting in form respect, being slow to anger, to appreciation – all of these won’t happen overnight, but we can work on them.

Once we do, we will see how beautiful it is to be in a harmonious relationship.