How Pornography Affects Individuals and Their Relationships

Listen to this article

The internet has revolutionized the way we live, offering endless opportunities for learning, connection, and entertainment. However, it also comes with its downsides, particularly when it comes to the consumption of certain content like pornography.

While some people can navigate the digital world responsibly, others find themselves drawn into habits that can have a significant impact on their relationships, especially their marriages.

Pornography, often viewed as a harmless form of escapism, can actually have far-reaching effects that many don’t fully realize. While occasional viewing may seem like a way to relieve stress or enhance intimacy, over time, it can lead to unhealthy patterns that affect both mental and emotional well-being.

In this article, we’ll explore the impact pornography can have on individuals and their marriages, shedding light on the potential consequences and why it’s important to recognize when it becomes a problem.

Facts about porn and marriage

The effects of porn on marriage can be devastating and critical. Here are some facts about pornography and marriage, and porn and its effects on marriage.

• More than 56 percent of divorces had a partner with a porn addiction.
• Forty million Americans, most men, have admitted to watching porn regularly.
• Outside sexual influences can hurt marriage.
• The expectations of sex in a marriage can be distorted due to porn.
• Watching porn can also affect your emotional intimacy with your partner.
• Passion in the relationship can be diluted if you watch too much porn.

How porn affects an individual?

An addiction to anything can be bad. However, while you may think that a porn addiction and marriage are the only two things linked, it can also affect you at an individual level.

According to Grady Shumway, a licensed mental health counselor:

Porn also falls under “instant gratification,” which refers to the immediate satisfaction of desires without delay or consideration of long-term consequences.

While it can provide temporary pleasure, relying too heavily on instant gratification can hinder personal growth, delay goal achievement, and strain relationships. Balancing short-term pleasures with long-term goals and values is essential for overall well-being and fulfillment.

Here is what you need to know about the effects of porn on marriage, but before that, let’s understand how it affects individuals.

1. Losing control

One of the major effects of pornography is that one starts to lose control over oneself. We have been taught to control our emotions and feelings and to handle things with maturity.

However, a person who is a pornography addict loses control of themselves. The urge to watch porn can arise anywhere, irrespective of their place or situation. 

This means they might start watching porn while commuting to work or when they’re in a social gathering. They start to lose control over their habits and can’t do anything to stop them.

2. Distorted perceptions about the body, sex

Speaking of pornography effects, or the effects of pornography addiction can profoundly impact an individual’s psychological state. One of the psychological effects of pornography is that the addict starts to witness distorted attitudes and have various perceptions about the sexual relationship.

Men who regularly watch porn find aggressive, abnormal sexual behavior, even rape, normal and have no negative impact on such things. They may even see women and kids as sexual commodities or an instrument of pleasure. They are least bothered about their dignity or social status. What they seek is to recreate the pornographic event and enjoy it.

Effects of porn on marriage

Porn can have devastating effects on marriages. Here are some effects of porn on marriage.

1. Sexual dissatisfaction

When a person becomes a pornography addict, they will witness certain changes in their daily life. They would become sexually dissatisfied, even after having the best sex.

Despite their disapproval, they would find themselves inclined towards recreating pornography activities with their partner. Once bored with one set of porn, they would move towards the extreme ones, and the urge to experience that would arise, eventually putting them in danger.

Once they get a pornography addict, their world will revolve around it only. For them, other things will hold no value or importance. This is one of the ways how porn ruins marriages.

Related Reading: 5 ways to overcome sexual dissatisfaction and its affects on relationships

2. Unrealistic expectations

As mentioned above, one of the effects of porn on marriage is that it creates an illusionary world for the addict. The addict starts to dwell in the world of pornography.

What emerges as the only world they’re comfortable in, and they find solace in them. Initially, pornography effects might not be prominent, but gradually, they would look for opportunities to create a world of their own.

They would want to have everything that’s been shown or done there. They won’t hesitate to take a risk with their life or even with their existing relationship. They are ready to put everything on edge just to have the satisfaction and happiness they will derive from it. This is one of the ways how porn affects a marriage.

Effects of porn on marriage can be as detrimental as pornography’s effects on an individual. These are some of the ways how pornography affects your life.

Related Reading: 5 Relationship Expectations That Are Harmful for Couples

3. Constant dissatisfaction

“Porn ruined my marriage.”

Those addicted to pornography are never happy with their sexual life. They’ve seen a lot and have imagined more than that. Their brain will attain satisfaction only when they see porn.

For them, attaining the satisfaction, other couples enjoy after having sexual intercourse gets difficult and slowly vanishes from their life. For them, their relationship with their partner turns more sexual than romantic.

They’re only looking forward to having just plain sex and not intimacy. This eventually leads to separation and heartbreaks.

4. Emotional distance

“Is porn bad for relationships?”

One of the significant effects of porn on marriage is that it separates a couple emotionally in relationships. While one of the partners is still emotionally attached to their spouse and cares for them, the other seems to have distanced themselves from a partner’s regular chores and responsibilities.

They’re more involved in pornography and start living their life for it and in it. For them, their spouse is nothing but a medium to recreate what they see over the Internet. This emotional separation eventually leads to the end of the relationship.

5. Divorce

It’s always painful to end something that started on a happy note. However, consider this as the result of the harmful effects of porn on marriage. Living with a pornographic addict is difficult, and walking out of it seems a legit option. This is one of the ways in which porn destroys marriages.

However, to reduce pornographic effects, one must also consider medication or therapy. Some experts can help an individual over the addiction and will assist them in rebuilding their life. So, before even considering a divorce, try out therapy with the hope of getting everything back.

6. True passion dies

When it comes to marital sex, passion is the key ingredient. Experience, stamina, etc., are just secondary. However, when you watch too much porn or are addicted to it, the passion and love in the relationship fizzle out, and it is only about unrealistic sexual expectations.

Anyone can vouch that when there is no passion in marital sex, it becomes futile, and your partner may eventually lose interest in maintaining a sexual relationship with you.

7. It Just keeps getting worse

Addictions keep you wanting more. When you consume something you are addicted to, you crave more of it, and when you feed the craving, the cycle continues. Porn addiction is no different.

As Grady Shumway explains:

Often, the pleasure can lead to a tolerance build-up, where typical use becomes dull and boring, which then creates more pleasure-seeking behaviors.

Therefore, when you feed your addiction, it is just likely to get worse. You are likely to keep trying to find that high, and you are likely to look harder when unable to.

This will eventually adversely affect your partner and your marriage.

8. Loss of trust

Porn addiction can cause a loss of trust in the marriage. The fact that your partner is not enough for you and the feeling of inadequacy can affect the level of trust someone has in the marriage and their partner. 

It may feel like other people have entered your marriage and bedroom because you were unhappy or satisfied with your partner.

To learn more about the psychology of trust, watch this video:

9. You sexualize everything

Porn addiction can cause you to sexualize everything – including your partner. While sex and intimacy are important aspects of a relationship, that’s not all there is to a marriage. A porn addiction, however, makes you feel otherwise.

Everything becomes about sex when marriage is about trust, communication, love, partnership, and many other virtues.

10. The purpose of sex is distorted

The purpose of sex in a marriage or relationship is to build intimacy, making your partner feel loved and pleasured. However, when there is a porn addiction involved, the purpose of sex can end up being a pleasure for only yourself, recreating what you see or fulfilling unrealistic expectations. Intimacy and love may take a back seat or may not stay relevant at all.

The takeaway