Low Sex Drive in Women: Signs and Causes and Treatment

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It seems as though many things are responsible for low sex drive in women. It’s almost as if you’re afraid to see what the new day will bring since each day there are changes.

Women’s sex drive depends on different reasons, from stress to an argument with their partner or a health-based severe cause. Many aren’t aware of how libido reacts as age progresses.

It’s gradual with life circumstances like shifts in hormones, household responsibilities growing over time, pregnancies, menopause, and many more. 

However, the most significant transition occurs between the 20 through the early 40s.

Low sex drive in women starts for middle-aged women around age 45+. The low libido in women with age is twice as common as in men, often causing men to believe “my wife doesn’t desire me.”

Instead, women try to understand changes in their bodies, accept what appears to be a “newness,” and wonder why they no longer feel the same desires.

What is low sexual desire in women?

A low sex drive in women can relate to a lack of desire. It is defined as someone who wants to have intercourse less frequently than they once did and not as often as their partner.

There is no set amount for someone to be actively involved in sex. Each relationship is unique, each person is different, and it can vary even from time to time.

But if you notice your wife has low sex desire, it’s essential to look at the symptoms. First, to see if you need to consult a doctor. 

When there is no sex drive in women to the point of prime concern, a consultation with the doctor is warranted. 

Medication adjustments could be the solution in some cases, or an underlying medical condition could result in women’s lack of sex drive. These can include diabetes or high blood pressure.

5 signs of low sex drive in women

If you feel your sex drive is considerably low but aren’t sure if it’s a problem or just a temporary state, here are some signs that a woman has not been sexually active or doesn’t feel like it.

• Loss of interest in sex or masturbation
• A problem in deriving pleasure from intercourse
• Having very seldom sexual thoughts and fantasies
• Lack of sensations on stimulation
• Difficulty in initiating sex

15 causes of low sex drive in women

Intimacy is affected by a culmination of life circumstances on which the woman’s libido depends. 

What is libido in a woman? Libido is a desire for sexual interaction, fantasies, masturbation, desire for sexual activity, and sexual motivation. 

What causes low sex drive in women? Women’s sexual desire is affected by the lifestyle they engage in, their overall wellness, values, and the health of your partnership.

Stress or issues in any of these situations can be causes of low sex drive in females. Let’s look at some of the reasons that cause low sex drive in women. 

1. When a woman’s needs aren’t met

Start a conversation. If you feel no desire or lack interest in sex and believe it’s because your needs are not met, communicate that with your partner. 

Unfortunately, if you don’t enjoy what’s happening in the bedroom, it can negatively affect the partnership as a whole.

Sadly, in some partnerships, one or both go outside the relationship for sexual gratification instead of discussing. If it’s not due to dissatisfaction, talk anyway. Let your partner know you realize an issue and want to work through it.

Related Reading: Do Women Need Men or Can We Balance Each Other?

2. Surgery

If you perhaps have a hysterectomy or other female surgical procedure that affects your body image, it will make you feel less desirable and prevent you from engaging in sex.

It would be best to find a way to talk to your partner and make them aware of your body image issues. You both can visit a counselor to have a professional opinion about overcoming your issues and be confident in your body.

3. Tiredness

Stress and exhaustion from everyday hectic life circumstances are key factors when a woman loses interest in her husband. 

In many scenarios, there’s no energy left with high-pressure jobs, kids’ activities, and household chores; most partners have nothing left to give.

You don’t have to look for the signs that a woman has not been sexually active if she is always tired.

Related Reading: 10 Helpful Tips if You’re Tired of Initiating Intimacy

4. Medical condition

The worst case for low sex drive in women is an underlying medical condition, like high blood pressure, arthritis, sexual arousal disorder, and diabetes. 

Treatment for the root medical issue might show others how a woman can get her sex drive back with proper medical care.

5. Poor lifestyle choices

For some women, lifestyle, and life circumstances are primary responses to why women lose their sex drive. For example, if you engage in unhealthy habits like smoking, drinking, maybe marijuana, or other illicit drugs – these will affect arousal.

The best thing to do is to get rid of any such habit affecting your sex drive, but you might need to consult with a professional if you are too deep into these things. 

6. Poor mental health

The psyche can affect sexual desire significantly for many reasons. People dealing with mental illness, including depression or anxiety, struggle with desire and arousal. 

These women lack interest in most day-to-day activities and have a general overall sense of fatigue.

7. Overwhelming workload

People with chaotic lives typically endure pressure-filled jobs in addition to household duties and making time for their children and partner. 

Therefore, it creates far too much stress to experience desire or even engage in sexual thoughts or fantasies to get themselves in a mood to interact sexually with their partner.

8. Lack of self-confidence

Some women suffer from exceptionally low self-esteem, resulting in poor body image. 

When you have no confidence, it extends to believing that no one could desire you; therefore, you also lack interest in other people.

With this kind of unhealthy mindset, these women have no type of libido, lack arousal for their partner, no fantasies, no masturbation, and no sexual thoughts of any kind. They can’t imagine themselves in that light.

9. Bad sexual history

Women who have experienced abuse, either physical or sexual, or who had a negative sexual experience. There is no desire or thought process of a sexual nature.

In this situation, it’s essential to seek treatment from a medical provider to work through unhealthy psychological states. 

Once you have an adequate treatment plan and a better sense of self, you can look into treatment for low libido in females; first and foremost is finding you again.

10. Feeling disconnected in a relationship

A woman and often men will have less interest in sex if the relationship is having trouble or if the partners feel disconnected.

When two people are consistently involved in conflict or when issues remain unresolved, it’s tough to find the type of intimacy it requires to interact sexually with that person.

No one wants to go through the motions merely. If you can’t communicate through the problems to the point of resolution, sex won’t feel good.

Related Reading: The 15 Signs of Relationship Disconnect and How to Fix This

11. Sexual problems

In some cases, women experience painful intercourse or lack of orgasm, diminishing desire significantly. But, again, these are things a specialist can work through, often with good results.

12. Menopause

During menopause, estrogen levels drop, making women less interested in sex. It causes dry vaginal tissues, which can make sex a painful experience. 

Though some women do not go through the same experience during menopause, it mostly causes a low sex drive in women.

Watch this video to learn more about how menopause affects your brain.

13. Pregnancy

During pregnancy, a woman’s hormones change a lot. Pregnancy or even breastfeeding can affect your sexual desire. 

The pressure of taking care of the baby inside you, or a newborn baby, puts a damper on your sexual drive. 

14. Medications

Certain medicines such as antidepressants, contraceptive pills, or medicines to lower blood pressure can cause low sex drive in women.

They can decrease testosterone levels and affect the blood flow in the body, resulting in low sexual desire in women. 

15. Sleep deprivation

Lack of proper sleep can decrease sex drive. While this is not a severe cause in most cases but if your partner suffers from sleep apnea, you might need medical assistance to overcome the issue.

How to cure low sex drive in women?

Contrary to popular belief, there is no recommended “weekly allowance” for sexual desire. Everyone is unique with libido, and even your interest might wane periodically and then spike based on life circumstances. 

Low libido is typically a problem if you believe it to be and if it’s distressing for you. 

As mentioned, numerous factors can play into a lack of interest, from lifestyle to a physical issue to a psychological problem, for which there can be solutions with the proper treatment. With relationships, communication is always key.

Increasing lost sex drive in women might be challenging depending on the reason, but people need to be aroused before the desire sets in some situations.

Sometimes when one partner reaches a point of desire, the other is into a good book, not even thinking about desire. That partner could be sitting around in desire all day, waiting for the other to experience it, but it might not happen.

So there may be a need to help it along. Here is how to cope with a wife’s low libido.

1. Sext

Send your partner a sext, even if they’re sitting in the same room with you. You’d be surprised what people say in messages that they’re often unwilling to express verbally. 

But this is fun and an excellent way to entice and excite each other.

2. Read

Read to each other. Find an excellent erotic book and take turns reading passages to each other, curled up on the sofa or in the bedroom with a glass of wine. Just reading to a mate is a very sensual experience.

3. Kiss

Just kiss without the anticipation of sex. Ultimately, you want to hold each other, hug, and maybe touch while kissing. But there are no expectations, keeping the moment light, stress-free, and open to possibility.

Related Reading: Top 7 Reasons Why Kissing Is Super Important in a Relationship

4. Exercise

Aerobic exercises and a couple of Kegel workouts will do wonders to strengthen your pelvic muscles engaged in sexual pleasure, improve your strength by exercising, and, thereby, increase your libido.

5. Avoid stress

Ensure that you avoid taking stress as it could impact your overall health and mentally drain you. Long-term stress can even lead to depression and take a toll on your brain.

6. Work on foreplay

Make on more extended foreplay, improving your relationship quality, enhancing your sexual experiences, and increasing your libido. According to the research, 18% of women orgasm from intercourse, while 33.6% of women need clitoris stimulation for orgasm.

Related Reading: 30 Foreplay Ideas That Will Surely Spice up Your Sex Life

7. A good diet

Include food rich in lean protein and low in sugar. A good diet, including vegetables and fruits, can prevent ailments, help in good circulation and improve your heart health.

8. Therapy

Most partners will want to show support to their significant others. You can both go for sex therapy to seek treatment. 

A supportive partner helping you work through the issue is much better than attempting to solve the problem alone.

More about low sex drive in women

Here are some of the most discussed and searched questions related to what causes a woman not to be sexually active and a lack of sex drive in women. 

• What is a normal sex drive for a woman?

Since sexual desire varies from person to person, it is impossible to define a normal sex drive for a woman. 

However, a regular sex routine, enjoying sexual intimacy, feeling physically aroused and interested in sex, and regularly fantasizing about sexual pleasure can be described as a normal sexual desire in a woman.

• When does a woman’s sex drive start to decline?

No specific age can suggest the decline in a woman’s sexual desire as it depends on various factors, from health conditions to mental distress, etc. 

A lot of physical and mental changes affect a woman’s sexual desire. However, a decline in a woman’s sexual desire doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something severely wrong. 

A normal sex routine can be established by communicating your needs and desires honestly. If it’s not helping, seeking couples counseling can guide you through rejuvenating your sex life.

Final thought

Many women suffer from low libido. It’s not an uncommon affliction, and it’s not merely affecting women of a particular age. Sexual desire disorder is an authentic condition affecting females as young as their early 20s.

That doesn’t mean everyone has a disorder. It simply means more people and legitimate reasons are enduring a lack of interest in sex in a world where so much is sexualized.

Often that leads to women feeling ashamed or as if they need to keep it quiet when, in fact, more females need to come forward as a supportive measure. 

When the message that this is a significant issue is being dealt with, women will begin to seek the help they need in more ways than one.

You’ll get the most support from a loving partner attempting to help you resolve whatever the causes might be. It could be as simple as that or as challenging as getting medical care. 

The primary thing to realize is no one can do anything to help you until they realize something is wrong. So you have to start a conversation. 

More women will follow your example and come forward for help with their sexual desire disorders or low libido issues if you do.