How to Get Him in the Mood: 25 Surefire Ways

Sometimes it is not about candles or bold moves; it is about feeling seen. The little pauses, the shared glances, the way laughter softens a long day… those moments matter.

Desire often grows quietly, fed by safety, warmth, and a sense of “we are okay.” You might notice how tone, timing, or a simple touch can shift everything.

Other days, nothing seems to land, and that can sting, right?

Still, attraction is rarely forced; it responds to patience and presence. Learning how to get him in the mood often starts with understanding his rhythms, honoring boundaries, and trusting your own confidence. Be gentle with yourself, stay curious, and let connection lead; intimacy has its own pace.

What does “Get him in the mood” imply?

Before we start with the ways to make your boyfriend hard and ready, we must first understand that it’s normal to ‘not be in the mood’ for sex once in a while.

Don’t jump to the conclusion that he’s already cheating or you’re unattractive. These assumptions will only make things complicated.  

There will be moments where, despite your efforts, your husband or boyfriend won’t be able to give you the attention that you want. 

It’s not that he’s no longer in love, but maybe there’s another reason why. 

Men will most likely refuse to have sex if they are: 

• Pressured from work or deadlines
• He wants to spend some alone time
• Maybe he wants to spend time with the kids. 
• He may be struggling with his performance, or he has a hard time getting hard, and it causes anxiety
• Your partner might be experiencing some self-esteem issues due to age or physical changes
• He might just be really tired.

If you think he may be suffering from these reasons, maybe it’s time to talk about it. You can also make some extra efforts to make sure that you get him in the mood. 

25 sure ways to get him in the mood immediately

There are moments when you feel confident, playful, and connected… but your partner may not seem to be on the same wavelength. That mismatch can happen, and it does not mean anything is wrong.

Sometimes, a little intention and communication can help create closeness and spark desire naturally. These 25 thoughtful ways focus on connection, comfort, and timing, helping you understand how to get him in the mood without pressure or force.

1. Get him to relax 

“I want to know how to get my boyfriend in the mood.” 

One of the reasons your husband or boyfriend seems uninterested in sex is when they are stressed out.  

Set the mood for him. Prepare a delicious meal, a cold beer, and put on his favorite TV show. You can also ask him to take a warm bath to remove the stress.

Here’s why it works:

• Stress lowers desire more than most people realize
• Relaxation helps his body and mind open up
• Comfort creates a safe space for intimacy

2. Treat him with a full body massage using hot oils

If you see that he’s stressed or tired, level up your efforts and treat him with a hot oil massage.  

Not only will this help him relax, but it will also be a great way to start getting into the mood for sex. 

Start by setting the room with scented candles, ask him to get naked, and use your favorite hot oil, massage him, and see how it works like a charm.

Here’s why it works:

• Physical touch reduces tension quickly
• Warm oils heighten sensory awareness
• Massage builds anticipation without pressure

3. Let him know what you want him to do

Sometimes, men don’t have a clue about what their partner wants. You have to tell him directly.

But instead of saying it to him like you’re craving pizza, why not do it in a sexy way? 

You need to know what to say to get him in the mood. Whisper to them, touch him, or be clingy as you give him the idea of what you want.

Here’s why it works:

• Clarity removes guesswork and hesitation
• Confidence is often deeply attractive
• Playful direction keeps things light and exciting

4. Flaunt your assets

Here’s a secret on how to turn him on fast. Wear something that will accentuate your assets.

Does he love your long legs? Wear sexy shorts. You can also wear a sexy dress or anything that will turn him on.

Wear your hair down and put on some simple makeup. Your man would notice you – that’s for sure.

Here’s why it works:

• Visual cues spark desire instantly
• Familiar attraction feels reassuring
• Effort signals interest and confidence

5. Wear that sexy lingerie

Get a man in the mood by wearing sexy lingerie.

Choose that lacey and silky lingerie that shows how sexy you are. Go to your husband and see how his eyes wander.

Oh! Did you just drop something? Pick it up – slowly.

You can also bring your man some wine and talk to him. Make him look at you and allow him to feast his eyes on you.

Here’s why it works:

• Novelty refreshes attraction
• Lingerie creates visual focus
• Confidence often matters more than the outfit

6. Caress his face and hair

If you want to know how to get him in the mood fast, then look at him and talk to him, but this time, linger more.

Aside from the words to turn him on, it would also help if you would caress his face and hair.

Here’s why it works:

• Gentle touch builds emotional closeness
• Slow contact calms the nervous system
• Intimacy grows through softness

7. Kiss him tenderly, and then stop

Now that you have the chance to kiss him, do it slowly and tenderly. When you feel that he’s already yearning for a wilder kiss, stop.

You can stand up and just walk away. Go to another room and let your husband wonder why you did it.

Here’s why it works:

• Anticipation intensifies desire
• Pausing keeps curiosity alive
• Restraint can feel irresistible

8. Play some sexy music

To be an effective seductress, you must know how to set a romantic mood.

Do this by dimming the lights, wearing your favorite lingerie, putting on that sexy perfume, and turning on that sexy music.

There can be many choices, from instrumental to wild and sexy songs, that get you both in the mood.

Here’s why it works:

• Music influences mood quickly
• Rhythm helps both of you relax
• Atmosphere matters more than words

9. Wear his favorite perfume

“Are there ways to turn on my husband that are subtle?”

Indeed, some women prefer giving subtle hints rather than being bold and wild. You can do this, and one way is to put on some of his favorite perfume.

Don’t be surprised if he hugs you from behind and kisses you.

Here’s why it works:

• Scent is strongly linked to memory
• Familiar smells feel comforting
• Subtle cues often feel more natural

10. Text him from your bedroom

Want to know how to get him in the mood fast? Try this naughty trick.

Go to your room and get naked. Lie in bed and get your phone.

Now, go ahead and text him that something he wants is waiting for him.

You can also send a teasing photo of yourself. This act will make your boyfriend or husband think and feel excited.

Here’s why it works:

• Distance builds curiosity
• Imagination heightens desire
• Playful mystery keeps things exciting

11. Snuggle and guide his hands

Sometimes, you wake up, and you want to get frisky. Snuggle with your man, and while you are at it, guide his hands where you want them.

Allow his hands to touch and caress you. You know what will come next, right?

Here’s why it works:

• Touch communicates intent gently
• Guidance removes uncertainty
• Closeness invites connection

12. Reminisce the first time

Don’t just use seductive words to turn him on. You can also reminisce about the time when you first did it.

Bring it up out of the blue and tell him how exciting it was. These memories can ignite that fire again. He may want to do it like it was your first time all over again, so be ready.

Here’s why it works:

• Shared memories rekindle emotion
• Nostalgia reinforces attraction
• Emotional intimacy fuels desire

13. Remove all distractions

Do you want to know how to get him in the mood fast? Then, simply remove all distractions.

You can turn off the TV, get him to put down his phone, make sure he doesn’t have deadlines, and so much more.

You want your man’s 100% attention.

Here’s why it works:

• Focus strengthens the connection
• Presence increases responsiveness
• Attention signals importance

14. Demand and be in control

Be in charge – in bed. Your man would be thrilled to follow your every rule.

Grab him and tell him you want to have all of him tonight. Or you can also kiss him and grab his hair, and then let him know that you will do what you want with him, and he does not have a choice.

You would probably see him smile. Just make sure that you do take control when you’re doing it, so he won’t be disappointed.

Here’s why it works:

• Confidence can feel energizing
• Role shifts add excitement
• Clear intent removes hesitation

15. Seduce him at the right time

If you want to make sure that he gets turned out quickly, make sure that you choose the right time.

We also need to be considerate. If your husband had a bad day at work, it’s not right to try to seduce him.

Here’s why it works:

• Timing affects receptiveness
• Emotional readiness matters
• Respect builds trust

16. Start sexting him

Start when your husband is at work. So, how to get him in the mood over text? He would be surprised to receive a naughty text from you. Let’s go for a slow burn this time. Throughout the day, entice him, tickle his mind, and make him curious.

He would be so excited to come home and have you all to himself. Make sure you’re all set when he’s about to arrive.

Just make sure you don’t overdo it. We don’t want your husband to be too distracted.

Here’s why it works:

• Slow buildup sustains interest
• Mental stimulation sparks desire
• Anticipation makes the reunion sweeter

17. Entice him with forbidden places

When you’re having a conversation, casually ask him about locations where he thinks sex would be exciting but forbidden.

You can tell him about past adventures and where you think you can do it.

Let him know how doing it in the backyard at night sounds naughty and instill some more naughty ideas. In no time, you might find yourself doing it in those places.

Here’s why it works:

• Novelty increases excitement
• Imagination feels playful
• Shared secrets strengthen bonds

18. Change your looks

Is your boyfriend or husband used to seeing you wearing no makeup or just simple, barely-there makeup?

If so, change your look for the day. Aside from wearing something sexy, you can apply a darker shade of lipstick.

When he comes home, don’t talk to him much and stare at him, making him guess what’s happening.

Here’s why it works:

• Visual change catches attention
• Mystery renews curiosity
• Effort signals confidence

19. Surprise him and go commando

This tip is something fun that will turn him on fast.

Wear a skirt and go commando. Clean the house and pick up those magazines in front of him, and suddenly, you start finding other things that you need to pick up.

Let him have a peek at that gem.

Here’s why it works:

• Surprise breaks routine
• Playfulness lowers inhibition
• Humor and desire can coexist

20. Talk to him and make deep eye contact

Look at him deeply and for a long time. There are no words needed here. Once you get his attention, you can slowly come close and tell him how much you want him – now.

Here’s why it works:

• Eye contact builds intimacy
• Silence can feel powerful
• Presence communicates desire clearly

21. Hand him a clue

Be ready and be sexy. Then, while your man is sitting on your sofa or just reading a book, hand him your lace undies.

Once he looks at you, just wink and smile.

Here’s why it works:

• Symbolism sparks imagination
• Surprise keeps energy playful
• Minimal words can say more

22. Invite him to watch porn

Let’s try this classic – watch porn. This time, you will be the one who will invite your husband and surprise him by joining.

Let him know what turns you on, what you like, and what you want him to do to you. You’ll get busy in no time.

Here’s why it works:

• Shared stimulation reduces pressure
• Curiosity opens conversation
• Mutual interest builds closeness

23. Talk about your fantasies

Want to know how to get him in the mood? Then, talk about your sexual fantasies. The topic is enough to turn him on. You can also share your sexual fantasies with him and ask him what he thinks.

You can also make those sexual fantasies come true by trying out role-playing.

Here’s why it works:

• Openness builds trust
• Imagination fuels desire
• Vulnerability deepens intimacy

Watch this TED Talk where psychotherapist Esther Perel helps you learn more about the secrets to desire in a relationship:

24. Give him a lap dance

If you are looking for something else to arouse your man, try to treat him to a lap dance.

Put on that sexy lingerie and play that music. Dim the lights and start showing your man what you got. Don’t be shy and unleash your wild side.

It will be fun and erotic.

Here’s why it works:

• Movement draws attention
• Confidence feels magnetic
• Playfulness reduces tension

25. Surprise him in the bathroom

While he’s taking a bath, go inside and surprise him. Slowly lather that fragrant soap all over his body. The warm water and sensual touches will surely turn him on.

Here’s why it works:

• Warm environments relax the body
• Unexpected moments feel exciting
• Sensory touch heightens awareness

When intimacy feels right

Getting him in the mood is rarely about one perfect move; it is about awareness, patience, and emotional safety. Some days, playful energy flows easily… other days, it needs time. And that is okay. Attraction grows when both of you feel relaxed, wanted, and understood.

A soft touch, a knowing look, or an honest moment can say more than grand gestures ever could. What matters most is staying present, reading his cues, and trusting your connection. Intimacy is not a performance; it is a shared rhythm, built slowly, warmly, and with care.

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The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less