10 Reasons Every Couple Needs Time Away From Their Kids

Listen to this article

Becoming a new parent is a beautiful feeling. Still, babies require your constant time and attention, which can sometimes lead to your marriage taking a back seat. That’s why sometimes every couple needs time away from their kids.

Newborn cuddles, cooing sounds, and not to mention that new baby smell: becoming a parent is an honor, but let’s not overlook the challenging aspects of parenting – crying, poopy diapers, and, importantly, sleep deprivation.

Whether raising newborns or teenagers, parenting is a full-time job that takes precious time away from your marriage. So, let’s learn why a couple needs time away from the kids for their relationship to thrive.

The importance of time away from the kids

The importance of time away from the kids cannot be overstated in a marriage. 

While the importance of children in marriage enriches the family bond, parents often reach a point where they feel, “I need a break from my partner and child” to recharge and reconnect with themselves and each other. 

Taking time away from family allows couples to nurture their relationship, ensuring it remains strong and vibrant amidst the demands of parenting. This dedicated time not only rejuvenates the individual spirits but also reinforces the foundation of the marital relationship, making it crucial for a balanced and fulfilling family life.

11 reasons every couple needs time away from their kids

When days blend into nights filled with routines, responsibilities, and children’s endless energy, it’s easy for couples to lose sight of their relationship amidst the chaos. 

The focus often shifts so entirely to the kids that the bond between partners begins to fray, not out of neglect but simply due to the natural course of family life. 

Recognizing the need for balance, it becomes essential for couples to carve out time away from their parenting roles consciously. There are several reasons why every couple needs time away from their kids. Here are 11 reasons you need to know:

1. Because you’ve been spending time apart

Parenting, especially in the early stages, requires a lot of time focused on the baby. This is great for bonding with your little one, but you and your spouse may feel more like two ships passing at night than passionate lovers.

Spending time together is one of the reasons why every couple needs time away from their kids.

The importance of quality time in a relationship is to show love to your spouse and make them your priority. Spending quality time together will allow you to lavish them with attention in ways you can’t entirely do when your kids are around.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, says

Doing a date night once in a while will help you see your partner without the role as a parent and more as an intimate connection.

2. To reconnect emotionally

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you will resume your relationship when your kids are away at college. To have a strong marriage, you need to maintain strong emotional intimacy throughout the many stages of parenthood.

Not only can emotional intimacy improve your romantic connection, but it can also allow you to be vulnerable and lean on each other when you need support.

3. Because you deserve to de-stress

The importance of quality time in a relationship sometimes has nothing to do with romance and everything to do with relaxation. Whether you’re dealing with sleep regressions, toddler tantrums, or your teen’s first broken heart, parenting can take its toll on you.

As previously discussed, studies have shown that married couples can experience greater happiness and less stress when spending time together.

Finding “couple things” to do without the kids (an exciting and adventurous date night or three hours of binging your favorite show with a bed full of snacks) can help reduce stress in your marriage.

4. To show your child that marriage is important

Another reason for the importance of quality time in a relationship is to teach your children that marriage should be a priority, not an afterthought.

When you devote all your time to your little ones, they may realize that the world revolves around them. While they may not be too far off base, showing them the importance of quality time in a relationship for mom and dad is beneficial.

Maggie Martinez further adds,

Your children will be able to see that you can make children and your spouse priorities and that it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

5. It helps your marriage grow

One of the reasons every couple needs time away from their kids is to continue tending to their relationship. Of course, you can do this while the kids are at home, but not with the same intensity as you can when one-on-one with your spouse.

If the marriage lasts, you need to continue to grow as partners. Making special time for yourself without the kids allows you to create new experiences and memories together that will keep you connected and thriving.

6. To make you a better parent

Parenting is wonderful and rewarding but also incredibly consuming, especially if your child is under five.

The Sunday mornings you used to spend sleeping in, ordering takeout, and having leisurely sex with your partner have now been replaced by early rising and family outings. And sure, family outings are wonderful, but they don’t afford time for much romance.

A couple may need time away from the kids to keep their relationship strong. Doing so brings them back into the family unit, feeling refreshed and ready to take on their parenting duties with strength and a smile.

7. It allows you to be spontaneous

Quality time in a relationship is crucial because it is all about feeling alive. For example, dating when you have kids is not the same as dating when you first met your partner.

When you were two singles, you had all the time in the world to do whatever you wanted. Go out for a jazz night mid-week? Sure! Random vacation for the weekend? Sign me up. Stay out past 8 pm? Naturally!

But, once you have children, structure, and routine become your best friend. Every couple needs time away from their kids to connect, have fun, and be as spontaneous as they desire.

8. To be intimate

The quickest way to rebuild the bond in marriage when you need a break from kids is to be intimate together. A satisfying sexual experience with your partner fills your body with oxytocin-the love hormone.

This magical hormone increases trust, reduces stress, and promotes bonding.

9. To carve out some time for yourself

When you find “couple things” to do without the kids or even carve out some time for yourself without your spouse, you reconnect to the person you used to be. 

You become the one with a buzzing social life and endless exciting hobbies. As much as you love being a parent, it’s essential to maintain a sense of self.

10. To remember why you love being parents

We all love our children, but the adage: “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” applies highly to making special time for yourselves without the kids. After days on end of diaper changes and routines, a new parent can start to feel overwhelming – if not a little mundane.

Being away from your little ones and reconnecting with your partner is rejuvenating, but it also gives you the chance to miss your kids and remember how special parenthood really is. Quality time is vital in a relationship because you continue to learn and connect as a married couple.

11. To nurture your individual growth and interests

Taking time away from the kids allows both partners to engage in personal interests and activities that might not be possible with children around. Personal time is crucial for individual growth, maintaining personal identity, and promoting a sense of fulfillment outside of parenting and marital roles. 

Engaging in personal hobbies and interests or simply having the space to reflect and relax can rejuvenate the spirit, contributing positively to one’s mental health and overall well-being. 

Maggie Martinez comments,

Spending time engaged in hobbies also models healthy habits for your children.

10 couple things to do without kids

When kids are away, you grow your relationship by developing new hobbies and interests as partners. So, are you looking for “couple things” to do without kids? We’ve got you covered!

• Go to a museum: Spend a day exploring art, history, or science at a museum. It’s a perfect way to immerse yourselves in culture and conversation, sparking new interests and shared experiences.
• See a movie together: Choose a film you both have been dying to see, whether a blockbuster or an indie flick. Enjoy the shared experience without the interruptions of tending to children.
• Go for a romantic dinner: Choose a restaurant with a romantic ambiance and cuisine you both love. Enjoy the uninterrupted conversation and the pleasure of savoring each bite together.
• Make love all day (or hey, at least for an entire afternoon): Rekindle the passion without worrying about being interrupted. Take your time to explore and enjoy each other’s company in the most intimate ways.
• Have a spa day: Book a couples spa day to relax and rejuvenate. Enjoy massages, facials, and other treatments that will leave you both feeling refreshed and connected.
• Go to a vineyard/do a wine tasting: Spend the day at a vineyard, sipping and savoring different wines. It’s a great way to relax, enjoy beautiful scenery, and perhaps discover a new favorite wine together.
• Head to a comedy club: Laughing together is a fantastic way to bond. Enjoy a night out at a comedy club where you can let loose and enjoy the humor as a couple.
• Go on a food tour: Explore the culinary delights of your city or a nearby town with a food tour. It’s a great way to try new foods, learn about the area, and create delicious memories together.
• Stargaze: Find a quiet spot away from the city lights, lay out a blanket, and gaze at the stars. It’s a simple yet profoundly romantic way to connect and share your hopes and dreams.
• Take a class/learn something new together: Whether it’s cooking, dancing, or pottery, taking a class together can be a fun and enriching experience. It’s a great way to grow as individuals and as a couple, learning new skills and laughing through the challenges.

All of these couple things to do without kids activities are designed so you and your spouse can either have fun, relax, or heighten the romance in your life.

Learn about the healthy habits of a successful relationship with Dr. Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings through this TED Talk:

How to keep your marriage spicy while raising kids

Every couple needs time away from their kids. One study published in the Iranian Journal of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences reveals that one of the best ways to rebuild marriage is to be intimate together.

Research shows that marital satisfaction was significantly associated with sexual satisfaction. The more satisfactory sex a couple has, the stronger their marriage is.

What’s more, sexual satisfaction predicts a stronger emotionally intimate bond between partners. So, how can you keep the spark alive and carve out some time for yourself and your spouse to get naughty?

The simple answer is you have to make time.

• Get a babysitter or bring the kids to your parents for the afternoon.
• Be willing to compromise about the time when you are intimate (in the mornings, during child naps, or after the kids go to sleep).
• Take the occasional vacation and make it all about pleasure.
• Find other ways to be intimate, like holding hands and cuddling.

FAQs

The balance between family life and couple time can lead to many questions. Here are some insights into frequently asked questions about the dynamics of spending time away from your children.

• Do couples need time away from kids?

Yes, couples do need time away from their kids. It allows them to reconnect on a deeper level, strengthen their relationship, and maintain their identity as partners, not just parents. This time is essential for a healthy and vibrant relationship.

• Is it healthy to have time away from your kids?

Absolutely, having time away from your kids is healthy. It provides parents with a chance to recharge, pursue personal interests, and cultivate a stronger bond with their partner. This break can lead to improved well-being and parenting satisfaction.

• How often should you be away from your kids?

The frequency can vary, but many experts suggest a regular interval, such as a monthly date night or an annual getaway, to maintain a healthy balance. The key is consistency and ensuring the time spent away is quality and rejuvenating.

• Is it normal for couples to need time apart?

Yes, it’s entirely normal and beneficial for couples to need time apart. It allows individuals to grow, encourages independence, and keeps the relationship fresh. Time apart can actually strengthen the connection between partners by enhancing appreciation and communication.

To sum up

Don’t feel guilty for feeling like you need a break, as at some point in time, every couple needs time away from their kids.

Dating when you have kids is just as important as dating back when you first met your spouse, maybe even more so. You and your partner need to spend some time together without the kids to refresh your marriage, strengthen your bond, and be refreshed.

Find new couple things to do without kids for your date nights. This will keep your relationship feeling fun and fresh. Don’t be afraid to prioritize your spouse before your kids. Doing so will not only benefit your marriage, but you’ll be a better parent for it.