9 Symptoms of Relationship PTSD, Causes & How to Heal

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Relationships are supposed to be sources of love, support, and happiness. Just like memories, some relationships leave us with good feelings, but others can leave us with not-so-good ones that stick around. 

If you’ve ever felt like past relationships make it hard to feel good about new ones, you’re not the only one.

However, not all relationships are healthy and positive. Some people may find themselves in situations where they are subjected to violence, manipulation, betrayal, or other forms of abuse by their partners. 

These experiences can leave deep scars on the victims, affecting their mental health and well-being long after the relationship ends. This is what is known as relationship PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).

It’s like when the past hurts from relationships and creates worries and fears that make it tricky to open up to new people.

However, there’s hope in overcoming these challenges and healing from the trauma of an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Let’s know about it further!

What is relationship PTSD? 

Relationship PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, is a psychological condition resulting from experiencing abusive, manipulative, or traumatic relationships. 

People with relationship PTSD often exhibit symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, and emotional detachment, reminiscent of the trauma they endured. 

The intense distress from such experiences can stay with a person even after the relationship ends, affecting their overall well-being and how they see life. This term includes how these difficult relationships can have a long-lasting impact on mental health. 

It emphasizes the importance of getting help and support to heal and move forward in the complex journey of recovering from these experiences.

What causes relationship PTSD?

Relationship PTSD, also known as post-traumatic stress disorder, can develop due to a variety of factors within an abusive or traumatic relationship. Here are common causes that contribute to the emergence of relationship PTSD:

• Abuse and violence

One of the primary causes of relationship PTSD is the experience of physical, emotional, or psychological abuse. Continuous exposure to verbal insults, threats, controlling behaviors, or physical harm creates an environment of fear and distress. 

The victim’s sense of safety is eroded, leading to symptoms of PTSD as the trauma becomes deeply ingrained.

• Betrayal and manipulation

Betrayal by a trusted partner or manipulation can have long-lasting effects on mental health. Discovering infidelity, deception, or experiencing gaslighting (a form of psychological manipulation) can shatter a person’s trust and self-esteem. 

These experiences can evoke feelings of shock, confusion, and emotional pain, contributing to the development of relationship PTSD.

• Isolation and control

Abusive relationship PTSD is due to abusive partners who often isolate their victims from friends, family, and support networks. The resulting social isolation and dependency on the abusive partner can intensify feelings of helplessness and despair. 

Such prolonged psychological captivity can create a sense of entrapment, fostering PTSD-like symptoms.

• Intermittent reinforcement

Relationships marked by a cycle of intermittent reinforcement—alternating between periods of kindness and abuse—can lead to a traumatic bond known as “trauma bonding.” 

Victims become emotionally attached to their abusers due to the occasional positive interactions, even in the midst of overall mistreatment. This complex dynamic can contribute to psychological distress and relationship PTSD.

• Lack of control

Feeling powerless in a relationship, especially in situations where decisions are constantly undermined or controlled, can lead to a loss of agency and autonomy. 

Research indicates that feelings of inequity or powerlessness in relationships lead to negative outcomes like anger, depression, and frustration, as seen in marital and adult dating studies.

The chronic stress of being unable to assert one’s needs and desires can contribute to heightened anxiety, hypervigilance, and other symptoms characteristic of relationship PTSD.

• Unresolved past trauma

Sometimes, childhood trauma or previous relationships can resurface in new relationships. These unresolved emotional wounds can amplify the impact of current relationship challenges, leading to relationship PTSD.

What’s the difference between PTRS and PTSD? 

The terms “PTRS” and “PTSD” are not commonly recognized or established terms in the field of psychology or mental health. 

PTSD is a formally recognized mental health condition with specific diagnostic criteria, while PTSR is a term used to describe a range of reactions that can occur after a traumatic event, which might or might not develop into a clinically diagnosed condition like PTSD.

PTSR is even sometimes used colloquially to describe a response to trauma that doesn’t meet the full criteria for PTSD.

1. PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

• PTSD is a recognized mental health condition characterized by specific diagnostic criteria established by the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition).
• It requires the presence of a qualifying traumatic event, such as exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence.
• Symptoms include re-experiencing the trauma through flashbacks or nightmares, avoiding reminders of the trauma, negative changes in mood and cognition, and heightened arousal (e.g., irritability, hypervigilance).
• The symptoms must persist for more than a month and cause significant impairment in daily functioning.

2. PTSR (Post-Traumatic Stress Reaction)

• PTSR is a less formal term often used to describe immediate or short-term emotional and psychological reactions following a traumatic event.
• It may encompass symptoms like shock, confusion, fear, and distress without necessarily meeting the full criteria for a clinical diagnosis of PTSD.
• PTSR doesn’t imply a specific duration or level of impairment and doesn’t have strict diagnostic criteria like PTSD.
• It’s more of a general description of the emotional and psychological responses that people might have to trauma in the short term.

9 symptoms of relationship PTSD

Just like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from other traumatic experiences, Signs of relationship PTSD can affect a person’s emotional well-being, interpersonal relationships, and overall quality of life. Here are 9 relationship PTSD symptoms:

1. Intrusive thoughts and flashbacks

People with relationship PTSD may experience intrusive thoughts, memories, or flashbacks of the traumatic event. These can be triggered by reminders, situations, or even unrelated events that bear some resemblance to the traumatic experience.

2. Hyperarousal

Hyperarousal refers to a heightened state of alertness and sensitivity to potential threats. Individuals with relationship PTSD might constantly be on edge, expecting danger or betrayal, and can have difficulty relaxing or sleeping.

3. Avoidance behavior

Those with relationship PTSD might avoid situations, places, or people that remind them of the traumatic event. This avoidance can extend to avoiding new relationships or emotional intimacy altogether as a protective measure to prevent further emotional pain.

To protect themselves from potential hurt, they might create emotional barriers or avoid entering into intimate relationships altogether.

4. Emotional numbing

A common response to relationship PTSD is emotional numbness. Individuals might struggle to experience positive emotions or might find themselves emotionally detached from their surroundings and relationships.

5. Hypervigilance

Similar to hyperarousal, hypervigilance involves being excessively watchful of signs of danger or betrayal. This constant vigilance can be exhausting and can strain relationships as the individual becomes overly suspicious or controlling.

6. Trust issues

Trust is often shattered after a traumatic relationship experience. People with relationship PTSD may struggle to trust not only potential partners but also friends, family, and even themselves.

7. Self-esteem and self-worth challenges

Traumatic relationships can erode one’s self-esteem and self-worth. Survivors of relationship PTSD might question their own judgment, blame themselves for the traumatic event, or struggle with feelings of worthlessness.

8. Isolation

As a result of the various symptoms mentioned, individuals with relationship PTSD might isolate themselves from social interactions. They might withdraw from friends, family, and support systems, further exacerbating their emotional struggles.

9. Emotional triggers

Certain words, actions, or situations can act as triggers, causing intense emotional reactions reminiscent of the traumatic experience. These triggers can lead to emotional outbursts, panic attacks, or intense anxiety.

7 ways to heal from relationship PTSD  

Healing from relationship PTSD, or Relationship Trauma, is a journey that requires time, self-compassion, and often professional support. 

The aftermath of a traumatic relationship experience can be deeply challenging, but with commitment and the right strategies, healing is possible. Here are seven ways to facilitate healing from relationship PTSD:

1. Seek professional help

Enlisting the support of a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and relationships is crucial. They can provide a safe space to explore your emotions, validate your experiences, and offer guidance in developing coping skills to navigate the healing process.

2. Practice self-compassion

It’s essential to be kind to yourself and acknowledge that the trauma was not your fault. Self-blame is common, but shifting your perspective to one of self-compassion can aid in rebuilding self-esteem and self-worth.

3. Mindfulness and grounding techniques

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you stay present and manage overwhelming emotions. Grounding techniques, like focusing on your senses or using tactile objects, can help alleviate anxiety and dissociation.

4. Set healthy boundaries

Learning to establish and maintain healthy boundaries is crucial for preventing further emotional harm. Clearly communicate your needs and limits to others, and recognize when someone’s behavior is crossing those boundaries.

5. Engage in self-care

Prioritize self-care activities that nourish your well-being. This could include exercise, spending time in nature, pursuing creative hobbies, practicing relaxation techniques, and ensuring you get adequate sleep and nutrition.

Watch this video to learn some simple self-care tips that can help better your life:

6. Supportive social connections

Surround yourself with a network of supportive friends and family members who understand your struggles and provide a non-judgmental environment. Healthy relationships can aid in rebuilding trust and fostering a sense of belonging.

7. Trauma-informed therapy

Consider trauma-specific therapies like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) tailored for trauma. These therapies target the specific effects of PTSD on relationships and can facilitate the rewiring of negative thought patterns.

Commonly asked questions

Dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic breakup can lead to symptoms close to that of PTSD. Know if a relationship causes PTSD and how these experiences might affect love and relationships in this FAQ section:

• Can you get PTSD from a breakup? 

Yes, it is possible for some individuals to experience symptoms resembling PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) following a particularly distressing or traumatic breakup. 

While the term “Breakup PTSD” isn’t a formal diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), some people may exhibit symptoms similar to PTSD after a breakup, especially if the breakup was accompanied by factors such as emotional abuse, betrayal, or other traumatic events. 

These symptoms might include intrusive thoughts, heightened emotional responses, difficulty moving on, and avoidance of situations that trigger memories of the relationship.

• Can someone with PTSD fall in love?

The capacity to love is not usually hindered by PTSD. People with PTSD can certainly experience love and form meaningful connections with others. 

However, it’s important to recognize that PTSD might impact the way someone approaches and experiences relationships. 

The symptoms of PTSD, such as hypervigilance, avoidance, and difficulty trusting, can potentially influence how a person navigates new romantic relationships. With proper support and treatment, individuals with PTSD can work on managing their symptoms and cultivating healthy relationships.

Final takeaway

The pain from past experiences can stay with us, affecting how we see new connections. While not exactly the same as big traumas, the term “Relationship PTSD” shows how bad relationships can leave deep marks on our feelings.

Everyone’s experience with PTSD from relationships is unique, and the impact of PTSD on relationships can vary widely. 

PTSD and romantic relationships may be challenging for some people when it comes to forming new relationships due to the lingering effects of trauma, while others may be able to develop and maintain healthy relationships with appropriate support and coping strategies. 

But there’s hope for healing. Talking to a professional, looking at our thoughts, and learning ways to relax can help us feel better.

Healing isn’t quick, and it’s okay to take time. As you move forward, remember the lessons, the strength you found, and your belief that better relationships are possible.