Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Signs, Causes & Treatment

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“Flat on the ground, he contemplates two stars, his eyes, and his hair, fit for Bacchus, fit for Apollo, his youthful cheeks and ivory neck, the beauty of his face, the rose-flush mingled in the whiteness of snow, admiring everything for which he is himself admired” – Book III:402-436 Narcissus sees himself and falls in love, Metamorphoses trans. by A. S. Klein

The story of Narcissus tells the tale of a handsome man who falls in love with himself.

In the story, his love for himself was so strong that he gave up loving other beautiful nymphs to focus on himself. Narcissus’ story is the inspiration behind a psychological disorder called Narcissism.

In this guide, we delve into the unique aspects of being in a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder, offering insights and guidance for those seeking understanding and coping strategies in the face of such challenging dynamics.

What is narcissistic personality disorder?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is when someone has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and lacks empathy for others. It can make relationships challenging. 

Understanding the traits and impact of NPD is crucial for those dealing with individuals exhibiting these narcissistic personality disorder behaviors.

What are the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder: 5 common traits

Narcissistic personality disorder behavior examples dominantly include lack of empathy.

Empathy is generally defined as our ability to sense another person’s feelings and thoughts. And therefore, is essential for a relationship to function and bloom.

If one partner exhibits a lack of empathy due to their narcissistic personality disorder, it will spell trouble for the two people in it.

The lack of empathy in Narcissistic Personality Disorder relationships can be observed in the following behaviors or signs:

1. Use and abuse

Being used is just a bummer. Being in a relationship that uses and abuses you? Now that’s something you have to think twice about.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder relationships have foundations in the ‘use and abuse’ patterns. This is because the narcissistic partner will use and abuse you for their gain.

If you are experiencing a narcissistic personality disorder relationship and their narcissism is not coming from you, then there’s something in you that your narcissistic partner needs, and they won’t be shy from taking that  – especially if you’re in a relationship with them.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely abusive because the person with NPD is selfish and will exhibit their lack of empathy.  

Be warned if you believe you are in a narcissistic personality disorder relationship –  this behavior pattern will cause damage to your psyche.

2. Too much self-entitlement

A straightforward example of a narcissist showing their self-entitlement is through being late to appointments and dates. 

Being late is okay provided that you have got a valid reason, like a flat tire or a slight accident, but if you notice your partner, they are usually late, and their reason usually falls along the lines of “Nothing, I just felt like it.”  

It’s a statement that shows a distinct lack of empathy, and if you notice this pattern in other parts of your life, it could be a clear sign that you are involved in a narcissistic personality disorder relationship, and you might want to step back.

Setting a time for your dates is a way of establishing a rule, and a narcissist who expresses arrogant self-entitlement means that they will step on these rules and not be bound by them. 

It’s worthless to put these boundaries and rules in place when in a Narcissistic Personality Disorder relationship just because the narcissist will break them all.  Why? Because they feel that they are above it and they won’t care about what you think.

3. Emotional manipulation

Being in a Narcissistic Personality Disorder relationship is an emotional rollercoaster.

Narcissists thrive on negative emotions, which they magically use to their advantage. They make you feel bad to make themselves feel better.

Narcissists’ egos are so fragile because, internally, they really have a false sense of bravado. All of their strength of personality is just used as a facade to mask just how weak they are on the inside.

Any threats to their carefully curated self-image will be corrected quickly. And because they lack empathy, they will blame you, make you feel inferior, judge you, and even ridicule you to ensure that they will come out as a better person.

4. Creation of a grand self-image

A narcissistic person will do everything in their might to create a grand self-image. They will do anything to come out on top of everyone else. They will lie and manipulate you to get you on to your side especially when you are a source of their fuel.

Narcissists are successful at creating an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

They believe that you, as their partner, will not be able to live without their presence.

And to make sure you don’t, they might go to the extent of taking away your financial freedom  (or other means of independence) so that you’ll be dependent on them. This act of being depended upon can be seen as a way of boosting their ego.

5. Bad conversationalists

Me. Me. Me! It’s planet me when you’re in a Narcissistic Personality Disorder relationship, and ‘me’ only relates to the person with narcissism – not you!

You can’t have a decent conversation with a person with NPD.

They love talking about themselves so much that your conversations can end up being all about them.

Their thoughts and their feelings because that is all that’s important to them. It’s hard to inject your views into the conversation; your opinions will be put aside, corrected, or even dismissed.

What causes narcissistic personality disorder?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) doesn’t have a single cause, but it’s believed to result from a combination of genetic, environmental, and neurobiological factors. Here are four key points:

• Some studies suggest a genetic predisposition, meaning it can run in families.
• Childhood experiences, such as excessive praise or criticism, may contribute to NPD development.
• Brain structure and function differences might play a role.
• NPD may develop as a coping mechanism to deal with deep-seated insecurities and low self-esteem.

How is narcissistic personality disorder diagnosed?

How to tell if someone has NPD? It’s a worthy question to understand the possibility of someone developing a narcissist personality.

Diagnosing Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) involves a mental health professional, like a psychologist or psychiatrist, assessing a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior. 

They use standardized criteria from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). The process typically includes interviews, observation, and possibly input from family or friends who’ve noticed the person’s behaviors. 

It’s like putting together a puzzle to understand if the traits align with NPD. Seeking professional help is key for an accurate diagnosis and appropriate guidance.

Also, watch this informative video on Narcissistic Personality Disorder diagnostic criteria:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder treatment: 7 effective options

Treating narcissistic type personality disorder can be complex and time-consuming, but here are some effective options available:

• Therapy: Psychotherapy for a narcissistic personality disorder, especially Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), allows individuals to explore and challenge distorted thinking patterns, helping them develop healthier perspectives and behaviors.
• Medication: While there’s no specific medication for NPD, treating accompanying symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder like depression or anxiety may be beneficial. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication based on individual needs.
• Group therapy: Participating in group therapy offers individuals with NPD a supportive environment to share experiences, gain insights, and learn from others facing similar challenges.
• Setting boundaries: Learning to establish and respect boundaries in relationships is crucial. Therapy can provide tools to navigate healthier interpersonal connections.
• Developing empathy: Therapeutic interventions focus on building empathy, helping individuals understand and respond to others’ emotions more compassionately.
• Self-reflection: Encouraging self-reflection through therapy allows individuals to recognize and address their own behaviors, fostering personal growth.
• Family involvement: Including family members in therapy sessions can enhance understanding and support, creating a more conducive environment for positive change.

FAQs 

Understanding narcissism and its impact on relationships is vital. Here are succinct answers to common questions about narcissistic personality disorder traits.

• Is narcissism a disorder?

Extreme narcissism can be a disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), characterized by an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy.

• What can I do if I am in a relationship with someone with NPD?

Establish clear boundaries, encourage open communication, and consider therapy to navigate challenges and foster understanding.

• Is narcissistic personality disorder a mental illness?

Yes, NPD is categorized as a mental illness affecting how individuals think, feel, and relate to others.

• What percent of the population are narcissists on average?

On average, around 1% to 6% of the population is estimated to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

• How common is narcissistic personality disorder?

NPD is relatively uncommon, but its prevalence varies. Seeking professional guidance helps navigate relationships affected by narcissistic traits.

Be aware and positive

Dealing romantically with someone having narcissistic traits can hardly be easy.

Just remember, setting boundaries and seeking support are key. Whether you’re figuring out how to cope or helping someone through a change, it’s all about understanding and growing. 

Every step forward, no matter how tiny, is a win. By being kind and talking things out, we create spaces where relationships can get better. Your well-being is important, and with the right tools, every relationship can be a chance to learn and get stronger.