When to Say I Love You – 9 Signs It’s Time!

Rachael Pace, Author

Rachael Pace

Expertise: Mental health, Parenting

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

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Updated: 9 Jan, 2023

Table of Contents

Best friends and lovers When you enjoy each other's company as both friends and partners, that solid foundation makes saying I love you feel natural and worth the step.
They comfort you When they know how to soothe you in distress, lean into that safety and allow your love to deepen by saying I love you.
You just feel it When the heart knows it and the moment keeps calling you, trust that your true feelings invite you to deepen your bond.

You’ve been in a relationship for quite some time, and you care about your partner. You always seem to know exactly what to say to make the other one smile and you could spend every waking hour of the day together. Does this mean it’s time to say I love you?

When you are feeling intense chemistry with someone, it can be tempting to share your feelings for them. But what happens if you’ve been with someone for a long time and you still aren’t sure you’re in love?

There is no set timeline for falling in love, which makes deciding when to say it out loud a tricky decision. What if you say it and your partner doesn’t say it back? What if you say it only to realize later you didn’t mean it? Here are 9 sure-fire signs that it’s finally time to say the “L” word out loud.

1.You are best friends

Are you and your partner best friends? A best friend is someone who always has your back, who you have fun with, trust, and wants to spend all your time with.

They say that the best relationships start with a strong foundation of friendship. In a study about what makes lasting relationships, results showed that the most successful couples treated each other like they were best friends.

If you and your partner spend your time together as friends as well as lovers, embracing fun activities on top of romantic ones, it may be a sign that it’s time to start saying I love you.

2. They comfort you

When you’re upset, who is the first person you want to talk to?

When you’re feeling blue and you’re around your partner, do they always know how to make you feel better? These are great signs to look for when you’re falling in love.

Having someone who you can lean on in times of distress or sadness is an irreplaceable gift. This feeling of safety and comfort boost love and helps relationships grow.

3. You’ve met each other’s friends and family

Even in modern dating, meeting the parents is still a huge relationship milestone.

Plus, you can tell a lot about a person by who they choose to spend their time with. One benefit to dating in relationships is that you get to know your spouse’s close friends and family. You get a better idea of the way they behave around other people and the type of people you are choosing to let into your life.

Do you still like your spouse after seeing them interact with their old high-school friends? If you’ve met each other’s friends and family, odds are you’re heading into ‘serious relationship’ territory and may even be falling in love.

4. You respect each other

Respect is huge in relationships. The level of respect you have for your partner determines how you fight, how you make up, how well you do with boundaries, and how deep your love and care for one another goes.

It’s easy to fall in love someone who listens to you, values your opinions, treats you honorably, and stands up for you and your boundaries.

5. They support your goals

They support your goals

Learning when to say I love you is easier when your partner treats your goals like they are their own.

Research reveals that couples who celebrate successes together often feel more understood, validated, and cared for by their partner.

A great and love-worthy partner is someone who wants to see you succeed and help you reach for the stars. When you succeed in life, they are right beside you cheering you on and celebrating your victories.

6. You’re ridiculously happy together

It goes without saying that new love and happiness often go hand in hand.

Do you feel that you and your partner have a connection that can’t be shaken? Do you get along famously and hardly ever fight? If you feel like you could spend 24/7 with your spouse and still never get sick of each other, it sounds like you’ve been bitten by the love bug.

7. Your emotional intimacy is out of this world

Emotional intimacy is a sense of being close to someone.

It’s a feeling of safety and acceptance by your partner. When you have an emotionally intimate connection with someone, you feel free to be vulnerable and to express yourself.

If you find yourself feeling more comfortable talking to your partner about the deeper things in life, knowing that they’ll never judge you for them, you may be falling in love.

8. It keeps trying to slip out

Do you feel like every time you’re with your spouse the words are nearly falling out of your mouth? If you’re so infatuated with someone that you feel those special words on the tip of your tongue every time you see each other, odds are you’re falling hard and fast.

9. You just feel it

Learning when to say I love you doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t need to believe you’ve found the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with to know you’ve fallen in love. You just have to feel it.

Real love goes beyond the first-month butterflies you feel when you’re dating someone new. It’s a deep feeling of love, admiration, respect, and commitment that goes right down to your core.

Saying I love you for the first time is a big deal. Be sure you really feel it before you say it out loud. How do you know if you feel it? It may sound cliché, but the truth is – you just know.

Falling in love with someone is an amazing new chapter of a relationship. Are you struggling to know when to say I love you? Here’s the bottom line: say it when you feel it. There are no hard and fast rules saying when you can and cannot express your emotions to your spouse.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less