10 Stages of Falling in Love: A Guide to Finding Your Match

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Love is on everyone’s minds. We all want to fall in love and be loved. We’ve seen the beautiful, romantic couples on TV, we’ve read books on falling in love and happily-ever-after, and it’s only natural to dream and hope that we get to experience something like that one day.

But no one seems to talk enough about the stages of falling in love and how, unlike what we see in Disney movies, love is not all about getting saved by the knight in shining armor or dancing the night away with a beautiful princess. It can get messy. 

Falling in love hurts sometimes. And being prepared for it can ease your worries and even help you understand yourself and your partner better.

What does falling in love mean?

So if love is not exactly what we see in fairy tales, what is it? Here’s the straight truth — no one knows for sure. There have been many debates about what exactly love is. 

Some people say it’s feelings of affection toward another. Others say it’s mutual trust and commitment. Still, others say it’s a choice. 

So, how to know if you’re falling in love? While people don’t know what ‘love’ is exactly, everyone has experienced the ‘feeling’ of falling in love. To fall in love with someone is to grow more attached slowly, enjoy their company, and be vulnerable with them. 

The falling-in-love stages for a man could involve being vulnerable with your partner or being more protective. For women, the stages of falling in love could involve feeling safe with your partner or slowly getting accustomed to being loved and cared for. 

Sometimes these experiences are experienced by men, women, and non-binary individuals. 

There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to fall in love. Falling in love can involve feeling scared, content, anxious, or over the moon. It can be a wonderful feeling.

What are the first signs of falling in love?

So, what are the stages of falling in love? Are there multiple stages, or is falling in love an immediate feeling? The fact is the process of falling in love takes its own course.

Love, at first glance, sounds like it happens all the time. But does it? The science of falling in love hypothesizes that love at first sight is passion, but that’s not a bad thing. 

They found that people who claim they experience love (or passion) at first sight feel more love and attachment later on in their relationships.

But not all relationships start this way. The most common way people begin to fall in love is when they develop intimate feelings for their friends. This is called the mere-exposure effect, where people feel more attached to the people they see most often.

It’s no surprise that people usually start dating their friends. The first signs of falling in love could be either a sudden attraction to someone you just met or a slow-burn development of feelings for someone you’ve known for a very long time. 

The stages of falling in love are not necessarily ordered, and people can sometimes completely skip the first signs and directly develop intimate or compassionate love.

How long does it usually take to fall in love with someone?

We wonder how one transitions from the stages of liking someone to the phases of falling in love.

While we all want a definite answer, love is a little too complicated to have a specific time frame. Some people are quick to trust and quick to love. Others need more time to open up and trust another person to love them. 

Each person has their own pace, so don’t worry about when you will fall in love. As long as you’re enjoying the company of your partner, feel connected to them, and care for them, love is definitely nearby.

Are there any benefits of falling in love?

Yes, falling in love brings a cascade of joy and positive vibes. It boosts happiness, reduces stress, and creates a sense of belonging. 

Psychologist and Coach Silvana Mici says that,

Some people say that it makes you a better person, and in my opinion only if you find the right person it has a positive impact.

Love sparks kindness, improves mental well-being, and provides a reliable support system. It’s not just a feeling; it’s a treasure trove of emotional and health benefits, reminding us that in love’s embrace, we find warmth, laughter, and a shared journey that makes life richer and more meaningful.

What are the 10 stages of falling in love?

It can be hard to navigate falling in love, but here are a few key stages of falling in love that people tend to go through.

1. The crush phase

If there’s ever a time the whole ‘love at first sight’ happens, it’s during the crush phase. This is one of the early stages of falling in love, and sometimes it takes people by surprise. 

It can happen when you meet someone for the first time, and you immediately feel a connection. But it’s not clear yet; you’re not sure if you want to be friends with them or something more. 

2. The friend phase

One of the early stages of falling in love involves friendship. Not all relationships go through this phase, but that’s okay. This is one of the phases of falling in love when you truly get to know someone without romantic intentions. 

You become friends with them and get comfortable. This is also the stage where you either firmly decide to keep things friendly between you or move on to the next stage.

3. The in-between phase

This is probably one of the most awkward stages of falling in love. You realize that being friends with someone is not enough and slowly grow to become attached to them. 

You find yourself thinking about them all the time, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop being preoccupied with their thoughts of them. However, in reality, you’re still friends and nothing more — yet.

4. The awkward phase

You’ve decided to move things along now. The awkward phase can be both frustrating and exhilarating at the same time. People claim this can also be one of the first signs of falling in love because you start to develop a rapport with them.

There’s a lot of flirting, stolen glances, butterflies, and excitement, but it can also be unbearably awkward and embarrassing at times.

It’s perfectly normal to feel insecure during these situations, especially if you feel like you’re not great at the flirting thing.

5. The honeymoon phase

The honeymoon phase embodies exactly what falling in love feels like. Partners tend to idolize each other – they can do no wrong. Everything your partner does is endearing, beautiful, and attractive.

During the honeymoon phase, intimacy levels skyrocket. You feel closer and more attached to your partner than ever. You slowly realize that feeling this kind of happiness is how you know you’re falling in love.

6. The insecurity phase 

Right after the giddy honeymoon phase, the insecurity phase tends to hit like a brick. Suddenly, you realize that you’re not spending as much time together as you used to, but you still feel the same intensity of feelings toward your partner. 

But because you don’t have the opportunity to express or receive those feelings, insecurity begins to creep in.

During this rough patch, lots of relationships start to fall apart and sometimes even end. But while many might think the feelings of insecurity are because the relationship is not working out, in reality, it could just be a stepping stone toward learning how to navigate falling in love.

This video gives a few great tips on dealing with insecurities in relationships:

7. The building phase

In this stage of falling in love, partners have overcome the obstacles of insecurity and have moved on to working together toward building their relationship or future. This phase involves lots of discussions about the future.

Couples also tend to make many short-term and long-term plans centering around the relationship. 

8. The jigsaw phase

Everything just clicks into phase. All of a sudden, your life aligns with your partner perfectly. You slowly develop a routine together, and you bask in the glow of happy coincidences and hard work paying off. 

This is one of the most satisfying stages of falling in love as you begin to truly appreciate your relationship from the bottom of your heart. Your love grows every day.

9. The stability phase

You’re committed. Your relationship has a solid foundation. You have grown accustomed to each other, and while it might lack the fiery passion and butterflies of the earlier stages, it has its subtle charm. 

You might think you’ve figured out how to deal with falling in love by this point, but you begin to pick up on small details about your partner that only make you fall for them even harder.

The stability phase can be one of the stages of love for a woman that is completely different from a man’s experience. However, regardless of what gender your partner is, you’re both experiencing the same kind of attachment to each other by the end of it.

10. The fulfillment phase

As the name suggests, this phase is all about reflecting on your relationship and feeling fulfilled about your choices. This phase of a relationship is usually when a couple embarks on a big life change together, like moving in, getting married, or traveling together. 

This is the final stage of falling in love and can be a very sweet moment. 

What are the challenges of falling in love?

Falling in love is a beautiful journey, but it isn’t always a smooth ride. Navigating the twists and turns can bring both joy and challenges. Let’s take a real look at the hurdles that often come with matters of the heart.

• Vulnerability: Opening up to love means exposing your true self. It’s beautiful, but vulnerability can be scary.
• Miscommunication: Understanding each other is an ongoing process. Miscommunications, big or small, are part of the learning curve.
• Prioritizing differences: Balancing individual differences can be tricky. It takes effort to appreciate and navigate diverse perspectives and habits.
• Fear of loss: The deeper you fall, the more you have to lose. Fear of heartbreak is a natural challenge in the journey of love.
• Time and patience: Love matures with time, demanding patience. Rushing the process can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary stress.

What are some tips for falling in love healthily?

Embarking on the journey of falling in love can be both exhilarating and challenging. Nurturing a healthy love requires a mindful approach. Here are some down-to-earth tips to help you navigate the path of love in a balanced and positive way.

• Before falling for someone else, understand your values, needs, and boundaries. Knowing yourself sets the foundation for a healthier connection.
• Open, honest communication fosters understanding. Share your feelings, listen actively, and create a space for dialogue.
• Maintain a healthy balance between personal space and shared time. Encourage individual growth within the relationship.
• Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Be open and authentic, allowing a deeper, more genuine connection to blossom.
• Respect forms the backbone of a healthy relationship. Treat your partner with kindness, understanding, and appreciation, fostering a positive and loving connection.

FAQs

Let’s explore two common questions about the timeline and signs of falling in love.

• How long does it take to fall in love?

Love’s timeline varies; it’s a personal journey. Some feel it quickly, while others take time. Don’t rush; let emotions unfold naturally, allowing a genuine connection to develop at its own pace.

• How can I tell if I’m falling in love?

Falling in love often brings a mix of joy and vulnerability. Look for signs like increased happiness, thinking of them often, and a sense of comfort and excitement in their presence. Trust your feelings—they’re your best guide.

Living every stage at its best

Not all couples make it to the final stage. Some couples may break up or call off their relationships earlier. Others might make it one of the last stages and then realize that their relationship is not a good fit for them. 

But these are all arbitrary distinctions. These stages may not be so clearly separated and may not even be experienced in the same order.

Psychologist and Coach Silvana Mici concludes,

As a licensed psychologist working with couples, I have realized that each one experiences falling in love differently and each one has a unique approach when coming to this topic.

If you find yourself feeling deeply connected to the person on an emotional, intellectual, and sometimes spiritual level, these can be some of the first signs.You feel understood and accepted for who you are, and you have a strong desire to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with them.

Each different stage of falling in love has its charm- as you go through this journey with someone, take the time to reflect on your feelings and how you’re feeling in your relationship.

It might be messy sometimes, but working on your relationship and having faith in your partner can go a long way in having a happy connection with your partner.