Why Is Blended Family Counseling Important?

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A blended family is one where both spouses have children from a previous marriage.

When a remarriage creates a blended family, the couple takes on many difficult blended family challenges. Creating harmony between two parents and their children could be very challenging. Children may be used to different family routines and parenting styles. Conflict or visitation between separating parents could create stress.

Similarly, new step-siblings can be a cause of potential conflict.

It may take months for children to adapt to the new family framework. Another added complication that blended families face is that while some children live in the home, other children who are living with the other biological parent may visit.  

Challenges faced by couples in blended families

Stress is normal in a new blended family structure, and the early years are likely to be the toughest. It takes time and patience for both families to adjust to living together. This can be the result of many factors, some of which are: Strong or conflicting emotions, different discipline or parenting styles, and the development of new relationships.

Every person in the blended family may have a difficult time slipping into their new roles in the family.

One or both adults will need to learn the ropes of how to parent stepchildren, as problems with stepchildren can bring tension in the relationship.

Some common problems with blended families that are faced by couples are:

1. Becoming a new parent

Some adults who enter into a blended family take on the role of a parent for the first time.

It can be extremely difficult to balance parenting a stepchild well and being liked by them, and it can be a major cause of stress.

Related Reading: Parental Advice for New Parents: The 5 Essential Rules

2. The relationship between stepparents and ex-partners

After the divorce, people prefer to move on and focus more on their new partners, which means that they stop communicating with their ex-partner. However, this is not possible, especially when children are involved.

The remarried parent will have to continue talking to their ex-partner only if to talk about the children.

Some spouses feel threatened by this contact that their partner has with their ex, while in some cases, the non-resident parent is not happy with the stepparent’s treatment of the children.

These situations can be a cause of increased tension in a blended family.    

3. Relationships between child and stepparent

Children have a hard time coming to terms with their feelings for their stepparent.

They might be reluctant to trust them and may come to resent them. They may be struggling with feelings of abandonment by their biological parent after their parent’s divorce. They might also feel that they are betraying their biological parent’s love by caring for their stepparent.

Related Reading: Key Tips to Help Stepparents Bond With Their Stepchildren

4. The relationship between child and stepsiblings

Sibling rivalry takes on a whole new meaning in a blended family.

Children may feel that they will have to compete for dominance and attention in the new family structure.

They may also feel insecure because they are worried that their biological parent will start preferring their stepsiblings.

5. The child’s stress

Children are the most stressed by this change.

They have already been through a hard time during their parent’s divorce, and now they must adapt to a new parent and new rules. More often, they express their frustrations through emotional or behavioral outbursts.

Related Reading: 15 Tips to Cope With the Stress of Having a Baby

5 tips for making the transition to a blended family

There can be a few issues with blended families. Blending two families together can be a challenging transition for both the adults and the children involved. It is a process that requires time, patience, and understanding from everyone. 

Here are five tips to help make the transition to a blended family smoother:

1. Communication

The most important aspect of any relationship is communication. Be open and honest with your new spouse and stepchildren about your feelings, concerns, and expectations. Encourage them to do the same. Communication will help to build trust and understanding between everyone involved.

Related Reading: 10 Effective Communication Skills in Relationships

2. Create a routine

Establishing a routine can be helpful in creating a sense of structure and stability for everyone in the family. Set aside time for family activities and individual time with each child. This will help to create a sense of belonging and security.

3. Be patient

It takes time to build relationships and develop a sense of family. Don’t expect everything to fall into place overnight. Be patient and allow everyone to adjust to the new situation at their own pace.

4. Respect boundaries

Respect the boundaries of each family member. It is important to recognize that everyone has different needs and preferences. Be mindful of these differences and work together to find a balance that works for everyone.

Check out the necessary boundaries in a relationship:

5. Seek professional help if necessary

Blending families can be a complex process that may require the help of a professional. Don’t hesitate to seek out marriage counseling for blended families or blended family therapy if you feel that it would be beneficial for your family.

How can counseling help in a blended family?

All blended families face problems when they start living together.

The important thing is how you solve these blended families’ struggles. Letting your frustration or anger get the better of you is likely to worsen the situation in spite of how satisfying it might feel in the heat of the moment.

Some families can solve these problems on their own, while some require professional help. Blended family counseling helps families to learn how to live as a single affectionate family unit.

It teaches you how to work through the problems and growing pains that you face as a blended family.

One of the best advantages of blended family counseling is having access to a dependable individual who will not be objective and not take sides.

It is often comforting to talk to someone who is not attached emotionally to the family. Blended family counseling also encourages proper communication among family members. This helps to solve your blended family problems with the help of better communication.

Many people who have gone through blended family counseling admit that it is the best thing that has brought their family together.

What are the benefits of blended family counseling?

Blended family counseling can offer a range of benefits for families who are adjusting to the challenges and complexities of coming together from different households. Here are some of the key benefits of blended family counseling:

• Improved communication

Counseling sessions can provide a safe and neutral space for family members to express their feelings, concerns, and needs. This can help to improve communication and reduce conflicts between family members.

• A better understanding of roles and expectations: 

Blended family counseling can help family members to better understand their roles and expectations within the family unit. This can reduce confusion and frustration and help everyone to work together more effectively.

• Support with adjustment issues

Couples often face a unique adjustment in blended family issues, such as navigating new family dynamics and dealing with changes in living arrangements. Counseling can provide guidance and support as family members adapt to these changes.

• Strengthened relationships

Through counseling, family members can work on building stronger, more positive relationships with one another. This can help to promote trust, respect, and understanding within the family.

• Development of coping strategies

Counseling can help family members to develop effective coping strategies for dealing with stress, conflict, and other challenges. This can improve family resilience and help family members to better handle difficult situations.

• Increased confidence and self-esteem

Blended family counseling can provide a space for family members to explore their feelings and work on personal growth. This can lead to increased confidence and self-esteem, which can have a positive impact on overall family dynamics.

• Reduced stress and anxiety

Blended family counseling can help to reduce stress and anxiety for family members by providing a supportive and non-judgmental environment where they can work through their concerns and issues.

How do blended families deal with problems?

Blended families can deal with problems by communicating openly and honestly with one another. It is important for family members to understand that adjusting to a blended family can be a difficult process and that conflicts and challenges may arise. 

By creating a safe and supportive environment where everyone feels heard and respected, family members can work together to identify and address issues as they arise. 

Strategies such as family counseling for marriage advice, establishing routines, and respecting each other’s boundaries can also be effective in addressing and resolving problems in a blended family.

Takeaway

Blending two families together can be a challenging process, but it can also be a rewarding one. 

Blended family counseling can be a valuable tool for families as they navigate the complexities of building new relationships and creating a new family unit.

By communicating openly, establishing routines, being patient, respecting boundaries, and seeking professional help if necessary, you can create a loving and supportive blended family.