Is It Normal for My Girlfriend to Hit Me?

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Relationships experience ups and downs, and it is essential for partners to work collaboratively toward resolving their issues. Concerning relationship problems like physical violence, where partners may hit each other, understanding why it happened and finding a solution would help nip the situation in the bud. 

So let’s find answers to the question, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?” Furthermore, let’s look into the possible causes for this behavior and how you can rightly handle such behavior from your partner.  

Is it okay for my girlfriend to hit me?

If you’re looking for an answer to “why my girlfriend keeps hitting me?” it can be due to some reasons like trauma, substance abuse, desire for control, etc. However, it is not okay or normal for your girlfriend to hit you, especially if she does it repeatedly and violently. 

If she hits you regularly and is not done playfully, you may be physically abused. 

11 possible reasons why your girlfriend hits you

Wondering, “Why is my girlfriend hitting me?” When your girlfriend hits you, it might come as a rude shock and leave you wondering why she did that. Here are a few possible reasons that answer the question, “Why does my girlfriend hit me?”

1. Childhood trauma

If you’re asking, “Why my girlfriend hits me?” it may be due to unresolved childhood trauma. It would help if you found out more about whether her childhood was abusive or not.

2. Poor communication skills

Some girlfriends might physically take it out on you if they find communicating challenging. They may believe that hitting you would make you understand more about the message they are trying to communicate. 

3. Low self-esteem

Your girlfriend might hit you if she is struggling with low self-esteem. It might be her way of trying to exercise control over you. 

4. Substance abuse

Substances like alcohol and drugs can prevent someone from making the right decisions. These substances can contribute to abusive actions, like your girlfriend hitting you without any reason. 

5. Societal norms

If you have asked questions like is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me, it might be due to societal or cultural norms. She might act based on society’s dictates, not minding if it is wrong or right.

Check out Susan A Murty’s and other authors’ study on physical and emotional partner abuse reported by women and men in rural communities. 

6. Desire for power and control

If your girlfriend wants to feel powerful or control you, she might hit you even when she knows it is wrong.

7. Jealousy

If your girlfriend is jealous of you over anything, it might result in abusive habits. For instance, if she is jealous of a third party in your relationship, she might begin to hit you to exert control.

8. Financial dependence

Someone experiencing financial strain might become frustrated, leading to frustration and stress. This can make your girlfriend hit you because she may feel financially dependent on people, including you.

9. Past relationship trauma

Concerning the question, “Is it okay for my girlfriend to hit me?” One of the reasons might be what she experienced in her previous relationship. She might think it is normal for partners to hit each other. 

10. Disrespect

When your girlfriend hits you repeatedly, it could be a sign that she does not respect you. Hence, hitting you might be her way of communicating her disregard for you.

11. Desire for revenge

Her quest for revenge could be an answer to the question, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?” She might hit you because you did it to her in the past.

11 things to do when your girlfriend hits you

When your girlfriend hits you, ensure you don’t retaliate. However, take time to process the event so you can make the right decisions. Here are some things on what to do if your girlfriend hits you:

1. Seek help from a professional

If you are wondering if “is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?” a mental health professional is one of the best persons to answer the question. It’s essential to see a mental health professional or counselor when your girlfriend becomes physically abusive.

2. Talk to trusted family and friends

When your girlfriend hits you, you must let some key people in your life know what you are experiencing. You can reach out to friends and family members so that they can be aware and provide solutions.

3. Give them space

If your girlfriend hits you occasionally, it will help if you give her some physical space. This would ensure she doesn’t hit you regularly and prevent you from doing something unpleasant. 

Watch Esther Perel, a Belgian-American psychotherapist who is known for her work on human relationships sharing the benefits and importance of giving your partner space in a relationship:

4. Communicate with her when she is calm

One of the best periods to communicate with a physically abusive person is when they are calm and happy. You will understand their actions’ reasons if they are willing to converse with you.

5. Get educated

While you try to get help, ensure you learn more about physical abuse, how it develops, the causes, and the effects. This will help you know how to manage the situation and whether you should break free of the relationship.

6. Avoid heated arguments

When it comes to the question, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?” physically abusive people often thrive on chaos and conflict. Therefore, avoid having heated arguments with your girlfriend if she hits you a lot. 

7. Work on an escape plan

If your girlfriend keeps hitting you for no particular reason, it’s crucial to have an escape plan. The essence of an escape plan ensures that you don’t experience physical abuse and that you can focus on other aspects of your life entirely.

Read Andrea Martin’s and other authors’ study on the process of leaving an abusive relationship. 

8. Keep records of the abuse

It is advisable to have records of the abuse if the situation worsens. You might need evidence of each abusive situation to defend yourself when the time comes. Going through the records may give more perspective on the question, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?”

9. See a legal professional

It is necessary to consult a legal professional to know your rights and options regarding physical abuse. You need someone in that position to be aware of everything going on.

10. Become more financially independent

You might be reluctant to speak up or get help if you depend financially on your girlfriend. Therefore, make plans to be financially independent and less dependent on them.

11. Practice self-care habits

Self-care habits are essential to keep your physical, mental, and emotional health in check. Physical abuse can affect various aspects of your health if left unchecked. 

Commonly asked questions

Relationships can be enriching, offering companionship, support, and love. However, they can also present challenges that require careful consideration and action. In this section, we address some commonly asked questions about relationship dynamics, particularly in cases where issues like anger and physical behavior arise. 

• Is it normal if my girlfriend hits me?

The answer to the question, Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?” is no; it’s not at all okay for your girlfriend to hit you unnecessarily. 

While it is not normal for your girlfriend to physically abuse you, you should try finding out why they resort to such behavior and, if required, seek help.

• How should I respond when my girlfriend hits me?

When your girlfriend hits you, ensure that you don’t retaliate. Instead, keep your cool, and avoid being in the same space with her until the atmosphere is calmer. 

• What are the consequences of my girlfriend hitting me?

Some consequences of your girlfriend hitting you may include an unending cycle of violence, physical injuries, mental health problems, isolation, and more. In this study by Ishrat Batool Naik and Abdul Raffie Naik, you will learn the causes and consequences of domestic violence. 

• Why does my girlfriend get angry so easily?

Anger is an emotion everyone experiences, but some people get easily angered for various reasons. Some of these reasons include stress, trauma, unresolved conflicts, disappointment, personality traits, failed expectations, etc. 

• How to react to an angry girlfriend?

When dealing with an angry girlfriend, begin by remaining calm. Listen to her while she tries to express her feelings, and avoid using non-defensive language.

Don’t normalize your partner’s physical abuse

After reading through this article, you now have possible answers to the question, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?” If you’ve been a victim of physical abuse or violence from your girlfriend, it is best to seek legal, medical, and counseling help. 

You can also consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor to help you overcome this phase.