15 Sure Signs Your Wife Is Changing Her Mind About Divorce

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Can talks of divorce simply be the ultimate argument? Yes, divorce is terrifying, but sometimes, the issues need to be brought to the surface. In some cases, this process becomes a catalyst for positive change. You might then start seeing signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce.

Is my wife having a change of heart about divorce?

Seeing signs your wife is rethinking divorce isn’t as unusual as you might think. In fact, according to a study conducted by the University of Alberta, it seems that about half of the people surveyed changed their minds. 

Of course, that’s not to say that you should ignore the signs your wife wants a divorce. You can’t just assume she’ll change her mind on her own. Life has its ups and downs, and so do relationships, but both need patience and effort.  

Just like a Russian proverb wisely states, “a mere friend will agree with you, but a real friend will argue”, so healthy marriages have conflict. Sometimes it takes the mention of divorce to finally start communicating about the issues. 

That’s when you might notice the signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce. Perhaps you’ve finally shown her that you can both listen to each other and find healthier compromises. 

Moreover, the word divorce often pushes couples into separate bedrooms, which can be a huge wake-up call. When you realize what you’re about to lose, it can make you want to fight for it. So, don’t ignore the signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce. 

This doesn’t have to end with a lonely signature on a piece of paper. 

15 clues your wife is reconsidering divorce

The big question is, will she change her mind about divorce? At this point, the art of reconciliation is to embrace the journey. If you jump ahead to playing happy families too quickly, you’ll lose her. 

The aim when you see the signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce is to put aside all judgments and get to know each other again. You’re building a new chapter where new ways of connecting are replacing the old issues, so don’t assume anything.

1. A new dynamic 

Simply talking about getting a divorce can shake both of you such that you start seeing each other differently. In many cases, it isn’t that she’s stopped loving you but simply that she’s frustrated. 

So, the signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce might simply come from the fact that you’re not taking her for granted anymore. You might, consciously or unconsciously, be observing her more closely, including what she needs. 

In return, she might start paying more attention to you and even listening more closely. There’s something about the word divorce that can shock couples to start observing each other more attentively. 

Related Reading: The Changing Dynamics of Intimacy in a Marriage

2. Reconnecting 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to hear her say the words “I changed my mind about divorce”? Be careful you don’t push for it impatiently.

Simply enjoy the new physical touches you’re experiencing. They might be very subtle. For example, the touch of the hand, but you still notice a gradual shift with more closeness. 

3. Starting to communicate 

The key signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce rest in how she communicates and the words she uses. She might shift from blaming to being more curious about you and your views. 

Moreover, she might start offering solutions rather than just giving the divorce word as the final answer. Someone who’s prepared to explore options is more open to having a future.  

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Improve Communication in a Relationship

4. Asking for opinions 

Similarly, if she’s changing her mind about divorce, she won’t just communicate differently. She’ll want your input. Gradually, the dynamic becomes more collaborative.

As a result, you might realize she’s asking for more time together. She doesn’t just value your thoughts, but she wants you to start experiencing things together again. 

5. Counseling outlet 

Other signs your wife is rethinking divorce is that she’s suggested some form of marriage counseling. Again, this means that she’s looking forward to a potential future.

Most importantly, she’s willing to do the work and wants to fight for your marriage. 

6. New touch

Let’s not forget that the signs work both ways. If you’re the wife changing her mind, perhaps you also want to see signs your husband is rethinking divorce. Essentially, you can look for the same signs from this list.

Interestingly, this NY Times article on the Power of Touch refers to a study that seems to suggest that hugging and kissing are more important to men. 

So, let him hug you and see if you can remove the divorce word from your lives. 

7. Recreates the old way

Reigniting happy memories are some of the sure signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce. After all, when someone is caught up in the divorce process, they focus on the negatives. 

The simple act of shifting to positive thoughts can be the starting point you need to change the dynamic and heal your marriage. 

8. Healthier compromises 

When someone is focused on divorce, they tend to shut down. They usually want to get on with it and forget everything that happened before. 

Alternatively, the signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce include openness to new experiences. Gradually, your wife becomes less fixed in her boundaries and is willing to let things go slightly. 

Related Reading: 6 Compromises in a Relationship Needed for a Healthy Marriage

9. Acceptance 

So, do wives change their minds about divorce? We’ve already seen that, statistically, couples can and do change their minds. 

The secret is to start accepting each other for who you are. We all get cognitive distortions or inaccurate thinking, but sometimes the threat of divorce can help couples see those distortions. 

Instead, we realize that we’re expecting our partners to be perfect or to mind-read us. At this point, we can collaborate better. That’s because we work from the assumption that we are all flawed humans who make mistakes. 

In essence, we accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses and can find better ways to complement each other. 

10. Recommit

Some of the clearer signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce is when she wants to recommit. This can come up in various ways, from asking for couples counseling to going away together. 

Whatever it is, she’s opening a door. Usually, though, it means that some things need to be worked through first. Always keep the big picture in mind at this stage. 

11. Rediscover common interests

Rather than going your separate ways to plan your separation, more signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce revolve around hobbies. Perhaps she’s asked you to join her in learning a new skill or going to an event? 

As you reconnect over a common activity, you might eventually hear the words, “I changed my mind about divorce.”

12. More listening

As you work through these 15 clues, you might notice that you need to work on self-compassion, deep listening, and empathy for her viewpoints. Of course, your viewpoints matter too, but the point is that you want to find common ground.

You can only find that common ground with empathy and deep listening. Moreover, as this article on deep listening by author David Rome states, the goal is to listen such that you trust in their experience regardless of whether you agree. 

So, my wife wants a divorce. How I can change her mind is actually the wrong question. The better question is how we can better listen to each other to find a happier middle ground. 

Discover more about what you can really uncover when you listen deeply by watching this TED talk. American musician and producer Hrishikesh Hirway gives an interesting take on listening: 

13. Comparing notes on goals 

If your wife is changing her mind about divorce, she might be keen to review your relationship and life goals together. Perhaps things have changed regarding kids and finances. 

When it comes to signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce, this one is very positive. Again, it’s opening a possibility for a new future. 

14. Rekindle mutual empathy

If your wife wants a divorce, she might be too caught up in emotions to want to talk or explain her reasons. Try not to panic but give her space. Use this list of signs to motivate you to do kind things for her and to be there as a listener. 

You don’t have to do grand gestures, as the small things often count the most. For example, remembering to pick up the kids early or to get the groceries when it isn’t your turn, but you’ve noticed that she’s stressed about work. 

The small things can boost mutual empathy and gradually lead you to the signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce.

15. Face negative emotions together 

As we’ve mentioned, the signs work for men and women. For example, the signs your husband is rethinking divorce include that he’s willing to talk about his feelings. 

Similarly, wives will become more inclined to explain their emotions and issues. In the process, you both start listening more to each other, and healthier solutions start emerging. 

Related Reading: 4 Tips on How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts in Relationships

5 possibilities for your wife’s turnaround on divorce

So, will she change her mind about divorce? You can’t know anything for sure of course but if you’re seeing the signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce, it’s a positive foundation from which to work.

1. A new perspective

As previously explained, mentioning divorce is a powerful shock, especially to couples who still love each other. The sudden enormity of the process that’s about to begin can give your wife a new viewpoint. 

In many cases, it takes both partners to create the issues in a marriage. So, she might now appreciate her role in the dynamic and want to see what she can also do to improve things. 

2. Appreciation that the grass isn’t always greene

Another aspect of the signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce is that the alternative isn’t always better. 

Having to rebuild her life and start dating again with less-than-perfect potential partners might suddenly not feel so appealing anymore. 

3. Fear of the unknown

So, do wives change their minds about divorce? Yes, but of course, every case is different. Either way, she might be afraid of being lonely or having to work out life’s challenges on her own. 

All this uncertainty might drive her to rethink her decision. 

4. Commitment 

Deep down, most married couples believe in the sanctity of marriage. Essentially, you went through a formal process, and it can be terrifying to break it without some effort at reconciliation.

So, the signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce could come from the fact that she remembered her commitment to you all those years ago. 

5. Love runs deep 

Most critically, the signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce can be inextricably linked to love. Just because she asks for a divorce, it doesn’t mean she’s stopped loving you. 

She just needs something to change. 

Further notes on signs that the wife is changing her mind about divorce

Know further information about the signs your wife is rethinking divorce:

• How do you win your wife back despite talks of divorce? 

If you’re facing the signs your wife wants a divorce, be patient, listen to her views and talk about your feelings. This isn’t about blaming but about using I statements to talk about your hurt and pain. 

If you’re asking yourself, “My wife wants a divorce. How can I change her mind” don’t focus on changing her, focus on the only thing you can change: you. So, what can you do to create a more positive dynamic in your marriage? 

So, do little things for her that show you care, make time for her, and share how you think you can change. Be patient, and gradually, you might see the signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce.

Getting past the talks of divorce 

It doesn’t necessarily signal the final end if your wife wants a divorce. Many couples change their mind even after they’ve started the divorce process. 

Essentially, the divorce word can be the shock needed to honestly evaluate your issues and make changes on both sides. Often this requires the help of marriage counseling which is a very positive thing. 

With guidance from a counselor, you’ll learn healthy conflict management techniques, and you’ll reconnect with why you fell in love in the first place. Slowly, the signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce will start growing.

With patience, you’ll both realize you owe it to yourselves to have a go at making up before giving up. Nothing worth fighting for comes easily, and love is the greatest one of all.