Top 8 Divorce Mistakes to Avoid

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Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most distressing processes to endure. Although every divorce situation is unique, there are certain common divorce mistakes that people deliberately or inadvertently tend to commit.

Some people hurry to get into a relationship amid the divorce process or as soon as the legal proceedings are over.

However, it is critical to wait a minimum of one year from the actual date of the divorce before getting into a serious relationship with someone else. This allows time for the needed healing and growth.

So, here are a couple of common divorce mistakes that you must take cognizance of, and avoid if you are in a similar situation yourself.

1. Plunging into a new relationship too soon

Going through a divorce, everyone feels emotionally beat up, and self-esteem is at its lowest. Consequently, they are very vulnerable and are likely to get involved with the very first kind person that comes along.

Getting into another relationship on the “rebound” usually leads to a calamity.

This is an example of “jumping from the frying pan into the fire.” So, one of the biggest divorce mistakes to avoid is impulsively plunging into a new relationship

2. Overlooking the mistakes committed in your past relationship

The individual does not take a serious look at his/ her contributions to the marriage breakup. 

If they do not discover what mistakes they made in the marriage, unfortunately, these same unhealthy patterns will persist into the next marriage. 

“If we don’t learn from history, we are doomed to repeat it.”

3. Seeking emotional dependence

If you feel fearful and anxious about being alone, you will be desperate to get into another relationship quickly. 

One of the biggest mistakes when getting a divorce is making an impulsive decision to jump into another relationship and cling onto another person.

This kind of emotional dependence is a disaster waiting to happen.

It would be best if you dealt with your fears and insecurities, so you can confidently wait for a future partner who is also healthier and more self-confident.

4. Leaving the hurts in your failed marriage unnoticed

There is a lot of negative emotional baggage in a marriage that ends in divorce. Often members of the marriage are overwhelmed with emotional wounds from years of deeply hurtful conflicts.

It is so important to address these hurts and to experience healing before getting into another serious relationship.

Harboring grudges and not forgiving is like drinking cleaning fluid and wondering why your stomach hurts.

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5. Falling to the temptation of having an affair

Getting involved with someone while you are still married (having an affair) causes you to become a deceiver, liar, and cheat. Once you saw yourself as an honest person, full of integrity.

Following involvement in an affair, you wake up one day and see someone that you despise!

You are mortified and ashamed to see the person that you’ve become.

And, if you do not wish to look down upon yourself, you must avoid these divorce mistakes.

6. Staying disconnected from the outside world

When individuals go through a divorce, often they will feel like a failure. Another commonly observed divorce mistake!

There will be a loss of one’s support system, i.e., family and friends. In an effort for self-protection, they will isolate themselves from social support.

It is essential to stay connected with a strong support network during this critical time in one’s life for counseling or just for company.

Meeting people in the church, support groups, and having a small community of close friends helps.

7. Failing to observe the intricacies of your previous relationship

Unless you explore, understand, and address why you were attracted to your former spouse, lo, and behold, you will find someone new with many of the same characteristics. 

The names and faces have changed, but the relationship patterns will continue… and the beat goes on.”

8. Beginning a new relationship on the foundation of infidelity

Having an affair starts the new relationship on a very shaky foundation.

Both parties in the affair will feel anxious and, on some level, questioning “if this relationship was built on unfaithfulness, will this happen to me too?”

This is not a good sign for your future happiness.