11 Effective Ways of Dealing With Cousin Rivalry Among Children

Listen to this article

Conflicts are one of the common features in a family, and learning how to manage them determines how healthy the family dynamics would be. This conflict is also prevalent among young children due to various reasons. 

In this article, we delve into the meaning of cousin rivalry, the signs, and how to deal with its impact to prevent it from affecting family relationships. 

What is cousin rivalry?

Cousin rivalry occurs when there are conflicting interactions between cousins. It is mostly caused by factors like desire for attention, jealousy, competition, etc. Cousin rivalry can generate tension among children, which can make family gatherings unpleasant for everyone.

Why is cousin rivalry common?

Cousin rivalry is common because some cousins often grow up within the same age bracket, having shared family engagements, which can cause competition. Also, when cousins interact during family activities, it sometimes causes conflicts, which breeds cousin rivalry. 

While children compete for attention and try to get in the good books of the adults, they might begin to naturally test one another’s boundaries, thereby causing cousin rivalry. 

5 possible signs of cousin rivalry

Cousin rivalry is sometimes a common sign among children while growing up. Here are some of the possible signs of cousin rivalry to watch out for

1. Competitive behaviors

Understanding the cousin rivalry meaning can be seen when they compete with each other. You will observe that cousin vs cousin will always try to outdo each other in various activities. 

2. Jealousy

Jealousy might also exist in categories like cross cousins vs parallel cousins, etc. This mostly happens when one cousin is probably doing well in other aspects or if they regularly receive praise, attention, and gifts.

3. Attention-seeking

Another sign of cousin rivalry is when they try to win adults to their side by seeking validation or supporting adults during conflicts. 

4. Physical aggression

Showing aggressive behavior or physical fights is one of the signs of cousin rivalry. If they are in the physical space, they are likely to engage each other in a brawl.

5. Name-calling

When cousins regularly call each other derogatory names, it could be a sign of cousin rivalry. This shows that the relationship between them has gone sour.

What are the negative effects associated with cousin rivalry?

One of the negative effects of cousin rivalry is that it can cause strained family relationships, making family events or gatherings uncomfortable for everyone. 

Cousin rivalry can also cause low self-esteem among some children, as they might feel like they are not meeting expectations. Other adverse effects of cousin rivalry could include resentment, reduced family unity, and erosion of trust.

11 effective ways to stop cousin rivalry among children

When cousin rivalry is properly addressed, it can help to foster a positive relationship in the family. Here are some effective tips on how to handle cousin rivalry. 

1. Encourage open and honest communication

One of the ways to learn how to manage cousin rivalry is to encourage them to practice honest and open communication. This will allow them to express their concerns and feelings in a healthy manner.

2. Set clear expectations

Another way to learn how to deal with cousin rivalry is to ensure that there are set boundaries and expectations regarding behaviors, communication, respect, etc. 

3. Give equal attention

One of the reasons why cousin rivalry occurs is when one of them feels that they are not receiving attention from the adults. To solve this, it is important to give each child good quality time and attention to prevent questions like, “Why my cousin is jealous of me?”

4. Teach them conflict resolution

Regarding handling cousin rivalry, teach children how to manage conflicts among one another. Let them understand the essence of effective communication and also how to compromise. 

5. Promote teamwork

To solve questions like ‘Why do cousins hate each other,’ it is crucial to promote teamwork among cousins. You can create tasks or projects that will bring everyone together so that they can learn collaboration and cooperation.

6. Find shared interests

One of the ways to solve cousin rivalry is to find shared interests or activities that cousins can bond over. It could involve participating in a game that they all love.

7. Praise positive behaviors

When any of the children do something great, ensure you praise them and talk about it. Similarly, if they do something unpleasant, correct them with actionable steps. This will help to reinforce positive behaviors in the long term.

8. Organize family bonding activities

After observing cousin or friendly rivalry examples, one of the ways to manage such situations is by planning family activities. You can organize an event that will bring everyone in the family together. Such events or activities should be centered on positive conversations and unity. 

9. Model respectful behavior

Concerning the question ‘Why do siblings have rivalry,’ you can solve this problem when you display courteous, empathetic, and respectful behavior. This will enable the children to pick up some of your positive traits that will help them become more tolerant of one another. 

10. Teach them love and support

You can stop cousin rivalry by teaching them the essence of loving and supporting one another. Ensure that they realize that family is important and that they might need one another at different phases of their lives.

11. Don’t compare them to each other

When it comes to dealing with cousin rivalry, ensure you don’t compare the children to one another. Treat each child like they are special. Acknowledge their strengths, weaknesses, and their peculiarities. 

Watch this video to learn more about why parents should not compare their children to other children:

FAQs

Here are the answers to some pressing questions that can help you understand the intricacies of cousin rivalry much better: 

• Is it normal for cousin rivalry to occur?

It is a common occurrence for cousin rivalry to occur, especially during childhood. Cousin rivalry could be due to different reasons like desire for attention, jealousy, etc. However, when you notice this occurring among children, it is important to manage it healthily to maintain positive family dynamics. 

• What differentiates sibling rivalry from cousin rivalry?

Sibling rivalry involves brothers and sisters from the same parents. In contrast, cousin rivalry involves cousins who are children of siblings in the same family. Both internal and external interactions can influence both types of rivalry. 

• How to tell if my child is experiencing cousin rivalry?

You can know if your child is experiencing cousin rivalry when they are often involved in arguments with their cousins. If your child shows jealousy towards other children because of the attention they get, it could indicate cousin rivalry. 

• What are some long-term effects of cousin rivalry?

If cousin rivalry is not managed healthily, the children could grow up to resent one another, thereby affecting the family dynamics. They may grow up as adults who are not close to each other. 

• How to prevent cousin rivalry from occurring in the first place?

Cousin rivalry can be prevented when all children are treated equally in front of everyone. Also, cooperation and positive interactions should be encouraged among children to create an inclusive and loving environment. 

Adults should ensure that they model good and positive behaviors for children to adopt. 

Final thoughts

Having understood what cousin rivalry means, it is important to ensure that it is properly managed if it already exists in your family. You can apply some of the tips in this article to help children become more loving to one another. 

To get a robust view on what sibling or cousin relationships involve, check this research study by Shawn D Whiteman and other authors on the theoretical perspectives on such family relationships. 

Furthermore, for tips on how to build a healthy family, you can see a relationship therapist or counselor.