Platonic Crush: What It Means, 5 Signs, Pros, Cons & What to Do About It

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Most of us have probably heard the term “platonic crush,” but how familiar are you with it?

We can all experience platonic crushes, and it’s actually a beautiful experience. In Layman’s terms, platonic crushes mean having intense feelings of love, attraction, and affection for someone without the urge to make it romantic or sexual.

Is having a platonic crush good or bad? How do you know if you’re already feeling it?

In this article, we’ll understand what platonic crushes mean, their pros and cons, and what you should do when you realize you have a crush.

What is a platonic crush?

What does platonic crush mean?

A platonic crush is a type of infatuation with someone that doesn’t cross the boundary into a romantic or physical relationship. You get attached and attracted because of the person’s qualities, personality, and the emotional bond you have shared.

All of us can have a platonic crush on someone, regardless of age, sexual orientation, or even gender.

When you have platonic feelings towards someone, you become fond of this person, and you will have more desire to spend time with them.

Have you ever heard of the term “squishes” or “squish”?

This term is commonly used to describe platonic crushes, especially used in asexual and aromantic communities.

According to Jenni Jacobsen, a licensed clinical social worker:

A platonic crush can be seen as a crush that occurs with a friend.

What’s the difference between a platonic crush and a romantic crush?

Now that we are familiar with the platonic crush meaning, it’s time to learn what is the difference between a platonic crush and a romantic crush.

When you say romantic crush, it’s a type of crush where you feel both emotional and physical attraction toward someone.

Romantic crushes do not only involve getting attracted to a person’s personality, qualities, and attitude in life. You also develop sexual attraction, desires, and connection toward this person.

In fact, your attraction could mainly focus on the person’s physical qualities, charm, and sexual attraction. This is when you feel that you have “butterflies” in your stomach and get really nervous when you’re with them.

When you say platonic crushes, you focus on emotional attraction, which does not involve any physical, romantic, or sexual desires. You only focus on the person’s personality, attitude, and qualities.

As you get to know this person, your emotional bond also strengthens. When asked, the people who experience platonic crushes often describe it as a feeling of deep admiration and connection for the person they like.

Just as Jenni Jacobsen explains:

The triangular theory of love looks at three factors: commitment, intimacy, and passion. Passion is associated with feelings of romance and physical attraction, while commitment is a desire to maintain love over the long term.

Remember:

A platonic crush can grow and develop into a romantic crush. This happens when you realize you also have physical attraction, romantic and sexual desires toward the person you like.

Pros and cons of having a platonic crush

What happens when you have a platonic crush, aside from having an inspiration in life? Did you know that there are pros and cons of developing platonic crushes?

5 Pros of having a platonic crush

Once you’ve realized that you have developed a platonic crush on someone, expect the following pros:

1. Emotional safety

A platonic crush allows you and this special person to have an emotional connection. 

The good thing about this is that you’re emotionally safe from the risks and complications that come with a romantic relationship.

2. Enhanced communication skills

Once you have developed a platonic crush, you can enjoy and even strengthen your communication skills. Platonic crushes have their way of making you more comfortable expressing your feelings to them.

3. Increased confidence

If you can express your admiration for someone as a platonic crush, this could help boost your confidence and self-esteem.

Related Reading: 25 Ways To Exude Confidence In Your Relationship

4. Opportunity for personal growth

When you develop platonic crushes, you get inspired, which could encourage personal growth. 

You have this feeling that you want to become a better version of yourself, not just to impress or gain the admiration of your crush but also for yourself.

5. Unconditional support

What does a platonic relationship mean? It means you can both offer each other unconditional support, validation, and emotional comfort.

5 Cons of having a platonic crush

Like any other type of relationship of feelings, there is also the other side of developing platonic crushes.

1. Frustration

There is absolutely nothing wrong with developing a platonic crush, but these deep emotional feelings could become frustrating. 

You may feel frustrated once you see that your level of effort and connection is not the same as with the person you like.

Related Reading: How to Cope With Frustration in Relationships?

2. Misinterpretation

This may be one of the most common downsides of platonic crushes. There is always the possibility that you both misinterpret each other’s actions, words, and even efforts. This could lead to confusion and disappointment.

3. Jealousy

Even though platonic crushes aren’t romantic or sexual, there is still a chance that you could become jealous of the other people in your crush’s life.

This mostly happens when someone is already in a romantic relationship or dating.

Related Reading: 15 Signs of Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Handle It

4. Unrequited feelings

Platonic relationship vs. friendship can be confusing for some. If you eventually are in a platonic relationship, but the other person already has a romantic partner, this could lead to heartbreak.

It’s unavoidable since there would be a chance that you might want to pursue your relationship even further, but that would be difficult in this situation. Thus it’s hard to deal with unrequited feelings.

5. Emotional attachment

Platonic crushes are harmless but could also lead to emotional attachment. You can’t help it. 

It’s how your emotional connection grows, but this could cause deep emotional attachment, making it hard to move on and pursue other relationships or friendships.

How do you know if it’s a platonic crush?

How to know if you have a crush on someone and it’s platonic? Everyone who is not interested in platonic love and crushes will want to know if they have felt this before or not.

Check out our list and see if you can relate. If you could, then it’s definitely a platonic crush.

1. Your thoughts connect

You always agree with what they say, not because you want to impress this person, but because you can relate to their mindset. 

It’s amazing how much you think alike, share the same opinions, and even stand firm on what you believe in.

2. You love being updated on their social media life

Of course, we’re not talking about stalking. But, if you find yourself smiling as you browse this person’s photos, posts, and shares, you already have a crush.

3. You value their voice and opinion

Do you find yourself asking for advice from their person? Seeking what they think about something before you decide?

You’re doing this not because you like them but because you value this person’s opinion, views in life, and even how they handle situations.

4. You want to get to know them better

You can’t get this person out of your mind, and you feel like you’re so at ease with their presence. This makes you want to get to know them better on a deeper level.

There’s an urge to spend time together and be with each other without the usual romantic side.

5. You admire this person

When you have a crush, you’re admiring this person. This goes the same with platonic crushes. 

You’re holding them up on a pedestal because you think they are special.

6. You want to be close but don’t have any sexual attraction

You’ve wanted to spend time with your crush, but it has never crossed your mind that you’ll be sexually intimate. 

The thought of it even sounds weird to you.

The difference is that you’re not at all into them romantically or sexually.

What to do when you have a platonic crush?

So, you’ve confirmed it. You have a platonic crush, but what happens now? What should you do when you realize that you have a platonic crush?

Don’t worry; we’ll give you an overall idea.

1. Take it easy

A platonic crush is cool. You don’t have to force some new changes into your friendship just because you realized this. 

Take it easy. Allow your friendship and your connection to take their course. Enjoy the moment.

Related Reading: 5 Easy And Effective Couples Communication Tips

2. Talk to each other

Have the courage to strike up a casual conversation. You’ll learn more about this person and enjoy your time together.

3. Don’t get nervous

It’s true, isn’t it? You become conscious and nervous when you know you’re crushing on someone. Try to forget this, so you can go back to how you naturally act.

4. Hang out sometime

If you’re already friends or you know you’re both cool with each other, ask them out. You can spend the afternoon watching, driving, or drinking coffee.

Talk and let loose. This allows you to get to know each other really well.

5. Don’t try too hard

Trying too hard is like forcing something unnatural. Don’t do this. Just chill, and allow everything to fall into place. If you’re talking and it stops, let it be. You don’t have to try too hard to keep it going.

Related Reading: If Relationships Are Hard Then Why Do We Still Yearn for It?

More on platonic crush meaning, pros and cons

Here are some of the frequently asked questions related to platonic crushes and what to do about it.

• Is it possible to get attracted to someone platonic?

Yes, absolutely!

It is possible to feel attracted to someone platonically. It’s more common than you think.

A platonic crush could manifest in different ways, such as feeling drawn to someone’s personality, their attitude towards life, intellect, and even values.

It could also be because of that deep emotional connection or bond that you have with a friend.

Remember that platonic attraction can happen between people of any gender, and you don’t have to feel awkward about it.

• How do you know if it’s platonic or romantic?

How can you distinguish if this crush means in love or just platonic?

Being able to distinguish between platonic and romantic feelings could become confusing sometimes, but there are general differences between the two that could help:

1. Intentions differ in platonic and romantic relationships. One focuses on non-sexual connection, while the other pursues romantic or even sexual connection.
2. Emotional intensity also differs. Platonic attraction is about strong emotional connections, but it lacks the intense feeling of passion. Romantic attraction involves intense feelings of infatuation, attraction, and even desire.
3. Physical touch is a good way to know if you have a platonic or romantic crush. Platonic relationships involve high-fives and hugs. For romantic attraction, it involves more intimate touches like holding hands and kisses.
4. Communication also differs between the two. Platonic relationships focus on casual and straightforward communication. Romantic attraction involves flirting, teasing, and sweet words.

We all know that flirting is normal, but is there such a thing as harmless flirting when you are already committed?

Join Diana Baldwin, a certified therapist discussing flirting, commitment, and what to keep in mind if you’re flirting and already in a relationship. 

Is it normal to have a platonic crush?

Yes, it is completely normal to have a platonic crush. In fact, you may have already experienced this before.

Many people develop platonic crushes on friends, acquaintances, celebrities, and other public figures. Having platonic crushes can be healthy, especially if you develop friendship and gain confidence along the way.

Learning about the boundaries of platonic friendship is also important. Platonic crushes are normal if you maintain a respectful and fulfilling friendship without pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship with the person.

What does it feel like to have platonic attraction?

When you have a platonic crush, you have this strong interest in someone, but you don’t feel any romantic or sexual desire.

You want to be with them and admire their personality, attitude, and entire persona. You might also share similar interests, goals, and values in life.

When you have a platonic crush, you feel positivity, inspiration, joy, comfort, and excitement.

Summary

Now that you know what to expect in the world of platonic crushes, it’s clear that it is more common than we may have initially thought.

All of us can develop platonic crushes, and we should know how to distinguish platonic and romantic attraction.

Once we do, we’ll know the difference between platonic and romantic crushes, and we’d be able to navigate our emotions and maintain healthy boundaries.

If ever you may feel like you’re confused or having a hard time addressing what you are feeling, seeking relationship counseling could help.

So, if you have a platonic crush, enjoy, and understand that these feelings can change over time. Being in tune with our feelings and emotions can help us as we explore love, infatuation, and platonic crushes.