How to Support a Depressed Partner – 5 Ways

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It is estimated, based on research, that 3.8% of the population suffers from depression, with this percentage rising to 5.0% among adolescents and 5.7% among individuals aged 60 and older. Depression is a serious and widespread mental illness that impacts many people. Around 280 million people are suffering from depression around the world.

When you say, “my boyfriend is depressed” or “my partner is depressed, “you can be overwhelmed with concern and worry. 

However, there are some things that you can do to help them cope with depression and feel better about themselves. This article will discuss some known symptoms of depression and how to support a depressed partner.

Related Reading: 8 Ways to Deal With Depression in Relationship

Here’s what depression is all about.

Depression is a mood disorder that affects how you feel, think, and behave. It can lead to feelings of hopelessness, inadequacy, and worthlessness, and changes in appetite, energy levels, and sleep patterns. Depression can also lead to physical health problems like headaches and digestive disorders.

Realize that depression is not something you can choose to feel. No amount of effort or willpower can “work it out of” a person, and no one intentionally does it. Since depression is a medical problem, it must be treated. But there are a variety of factors that might lead to depression. The stress that brought it on may have caused a chemical imbalance in the brain. Several mental disorders, including anxiety and bipolar, can lead to depressive symptoms.

Related Reading: 11 Tips for Mental Health Issues & Loneliness in Marriage

If you want to understand more about depression, watch this video on decoding depression.

Is sadness similar to depression?

Depression is nothing like sadness. Sadness is a reaction to loss or disappointment that may come and go as you adjust to your circumstances. It’s different from depression because it doesn’t last long enough or interfere with your daily life. You may feel sad when someone close to you dies or moves away, but after a few weeks or months, you’ll likely return to your normal self again without any help from medications or therapy.

Sadness is an emotion that can be explained if someone asks you about it, but when it comes to depression, it is so hard to elaborate on, and even if you try, the right words just can’t come out. Depression is a serious illness that can have far-reaching consequences.

Related Reading: The Pros and Cons of Online Relationship Counseling

7 signs your spouse is depressed

A depressed spouse means your marriage can take a turn for the worse. However, it can be challenging to know if your spouse is depressed or whether they’re just going through a rough patch. Here are some signs to clarify their depression and learn how to support a depressed partner.

1. Lack of energy

When observing how to support a depressed partner, they may appear tired, lose their motivation and go through the motions of daily activities without much enthusiasm. 

They may feel like their life is not worth living or that they are a burden to others. They may also have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, and even if they do, they may not want to leave the house.

2. Arguing with you often or being irritable

Husbands and wives may occasionally have disagreements, but if your spouse is depressed, they may be more irritable than usual. 

They may feel hopeless and not care about how their behavior affects others. They may also be prone to anger and say things that they later regret.

Related Reading: How to Deal With Mood Swings in a Relationship

3. Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

When figuring out how to deal with a depressed spouse, observe that they may not be able to see any good in the future with depression. 

They might think that nothing will ever get better, that they can’t do anything right, or that they have failed at everything. If this is the case, they may be depressed. This is because depression often causes people to lose motivation and hope for the future.

Related Reading: 10 Tips to Help Stop Ruminating

4. Constant sleep deprivation or oversleeping

When learning to support a depressed partner, observe if they sleep more or less than usual as a depression symptom. 

They may sleep too much because they cannot concentrate on anything else when awake. Alternatively, they might not be able to fall asleep at all, which could cause them to feel stressed and anxious.

5. Lack of interest in hobbies and usual activities

If your spouse usually has plenty of hobbies but suddenly loses interest in them, this could signify depression. 

As well as this, if they stop doing things that used to please them, such as going out with friends or playing sports, they may also be depressed.

6. Constant sadness or anxiety

It’s normal to feel sad or anxious from time to time, but if your spouse is feeling this way most of the time, it may be a sign they are depressed. 

So if they constantly feel down and unhappy, it may be a sign that something is wrong.

7. Loss of appetite or fluctuating weight

If your spouse has lost a lot of weight or is not eating correctly, this may be a sign that something is wrong. 

As well as this, if they stop caring about their appearance and hygiene, it could be a sign of depression. 

5 ways to help a partner deal with depression

When your spouse is depressed, it can be detrimental to your relationship or marriage. Here are some helpful ways on how to support a depressed partner that you can apply in your daily lives.

1. Advise your partner to seek help from a professional

If you suspect your partner is suffering from depression, it’s important to encourage them to speak with their doctor about it. 

Depression can be treated with medication and therapy when determining how to help your spouse with depression, so it’s important for your loved one not to suffer in silence.

If your partner is reluctant to seek help, try to understand why. They may feel embarrassed or ashamed about their condition and fear that others will judge them. 

You can learn how to love someone with depression by reassuring them that there’s nothing wrong with getting professional help for a mental illness; in fact, it’s courageous.

Related Reading: How Seeing a Therapist Can Improve Your Life

2. Work together as partners

Depression can be a complicated illness for the person suffering from it and those around them. It’s essential to work together as a team rather than against each other when trying to learn how to help your boyfriend with depression. 

Try not to blame your partner for their depression or make them feel worse about themselves by blaming them for causing problems within your relationship. Instead, try to focus on ways you can support each other through this difficult time.

Related Reading: 10 Ways Blame-shifting in Relationship Harms It

3. Create an encouraging home environment

When figuring out how to help your partner with depression, realize that it can be challenging for them to get out of bed in the morning. 

If you have children, try to ensure they aren’t waking their parents up early or causing too much noise while trying to sleep. It may also help if your partner takes regular breaks from caring for the kids, so they don’t feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities at work and home.

If you’re concerned about your partner’s mental health, it can be helpful to talk with them about the issue. 

Ask if they feel depressed or anxious and, if so, how bad it is. You may also want to ask them if they have thoughts of suicide or harming themselves when planning how to help their husband with depression.

4. Educate yourself on depression

Depression is a serious issue that can affect anyone, regardless of age or gender. 

To better understand your partner’s struggles and learn how to support a partner with depression, educate yourself on what this condition is, how it affects people, and what treatments are available. 

It’s also helpful to understand the different types of depression and how these can affect your partner. This is important because you can better understand their symptoms and help them get the treatment they need.

Related Reading: 15 Tips for Dating Someone With Depression

5. Don’t take things too personally

It’s easy for people to take a partner’s depression personally, but it’s important to remember that this condition isn’t about you. 

When learning how to live with a depressed spouse, the symptoms of depression can cause your partner to say or do things they usually wouldn’t say or do—and that doesn’t mean they don’t love you or care about their relationship with you.

If you think I can’t cope with my partner’s anxiety, it also doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough or that you aren’t making them happy. 

You may feel your partner is rejecting or accusing you when they say, “I don’t know why I can’t be happier with you; there must be something wrong with me.” But this isn’t what they mean—they need some time to work through their depression.

Final thoughts

Depression is a serious medical condition that can greatly impact your partner and your relationship. If your partner suffers from depression, you may feel like you’re walking on eggshells, unsure of what to say or do. 

You might even wonder whether their mood is somehow related to something you did or didn’t do. But the truth is, depression is not about you.

It’s not your fault and has nothing to do with how well you treat your partner or how much love you have for them. 

The best thing you can do when learning how to support a depressed partner is to learn as much as possible about depression to help each other get through this difficult time together.

When figuring out how to help a spouse with depression, getting them the professional help they need through either counseling or therapy is recommended. And while you may not be able to take away their depression, you can be a source of support and encouragement.