17 Mixed Signals in a Relationship and How to Deal With Them

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Communication is one of the significant foundations of any relationship. Without it, no matter how much you love each other, your relationship might not thrive. So imagine how difficult it would be to decipher what your spouse or partner tells you when they send you mixed signals.

Mixed signals in a relationship are confusing and tiring. You guess, analyze, and try to figure out what your partner wants to tell you without actually telling you. So, what does mixed signals mean, and why do people do this? Let’s understand!

What are mixed signals in a relationship?

Your special someone asks that you respect each other’s privacy but insists you give your password. Maybe this person hates people who flirt, but you see them always do this.

These are just some mixed signals examples, but you already see how confusing it could be, right? Are we playing games here? Sending mixed signals means that someone is inconsistent with their actions and the message they want to impart.

It could be unintentional or just miscommunication, especially for new couples. Some people are not good with communication and can show you one thing but mean another.

However, some people are used to sending mixed messages. For example, a person can keep you available for them but won’t commit just if they meet someone better. Sadly, the guessing game would go on in this situation.

Intentional or not, giving mixed signals is not good.

Dionne Eleanor, Relationship and Empowerment Mentor, states

Mixed signals lead people to fall back on expectations, and sadly, expectations tend to create a high level of conflict. This is because expectations are based on an idea rather than reality.

Instead of being happy and secure in your relationship, one has to deal with stress, uncertainty, and frustration.

Getting mixed signals from a girl or boy can feel the same. It could make anyone feel confused and clueless about what’s going on. You would just end up asking yourself, why would anyone do this?

Why do people send mixed signals?

Understanding the mixed signals meaning, you may now want to know why people send mixed signals in their relationships.

If you receive mixed signals from a guy or a girl you like, you might think you’re not good enough or worthy of being loved. Stop those thoughts! You are not to blame if someone special to you gives you mixed signals in a relationship.

Mixed messages psychology means that the person sending them needs to straighten out their thoughts and wants. So, why do people send mixed signals in dating?

Most of us don’t know how to open up and communicate, so we give out mixed signals. What we want to say gets tangled with our emotions, doubts, insecurities, and feelings, thus creating confusing signals.

17 obvious signs a person is giving out mixed signals

Clear and open communication is not that easy to build, especially in new relationships. You still need to learn each other’s personalities before connecting. But what if you’re starting to get mixed signals in a relationship? Here are 17 common types of mixed signals:

1. They can get jealous quickly but don’t want to commit

What are mixed signals from a guy? Here’s one common example of mixed signals from guys.

He easily gets jealous but doesn’t want to commit to you. He clarifies that he’s not ready but acts like he’s your partner when someone tries to make a move on you or when you’re busy and happy with your friends.

Usually, this is a red flag. You’re not yet committed, but he’s already controlling you and the people you should talk to.

2. They want you to open up but refuse to do it

A healthy relationship is all about being emotionally intimate. What if your special someone wants you to open up but can’t do it when it’s their time to talk? This type of mixed signals from a girl or boy makes you feel isolated.

Your partner may still not be comfortable, so you can take the lead or encourage by saying words like, “I appreciate you.”

3. Asks you on a date but doesn’t call you back

He’s been asking you to go on a date, and finally, you said yes. You had a great time and felt like you’ve clicked. Smiling, you end the day hoping to have another date.

Then, nothing. He doesn’t text you goodnight or send you a message about your “wonderful” night. How to deal with mixed signals like this one? You can text first, but if you’re not comfortable, wait for about three days, then you can ask how he is doing.

4. They show eagerness to go out and then cancel last minute

You’ve planned your date for an entire week, and then your date cancels it. Here is another example of mixed signals from a girl or boy that you might be seeing.

Ask for the reason and weigh if it’s valid or not. We can’t avoid emergencies, and it happens. But make sure you check if this person makes it up to you.

Analyze the situation and set boundaries if needed. If something bothers you, you might decide not to continue dating.

5. Acts like you’re a couple but don’t want a label

You go out, make love, and spend time together. You’re a couple, right? But what if your significant other doesn’t want to label your relationship? This is one of the most common mixed signals in a relationship. 

Deep inside, this bothers you, right? No one wants to feel like they’re being used. We all want a label when we are in love, so what’s wrong? This person might not be ready for commitment or want to commit. If you can’t agree, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

Dionne Eleanor shares

Hiding behind the ambiguity of not having a label can prevent both parties from addressing important issues or conflicts that arise in the relationship.

6. Wants you to be loyal but does the opposite

You don’t have a label, but this person wants your loyalty. Oh, but this rule doesn’t apply to them. Perhaps they still have their freedom since technically, they don’t have a label.

Sounds unfair? It is, but still, people can end up in this type of relationship. Getting mixed signals from a woman or a man like this is a red flag. Think of this situationship and decide what is actually best for you.

7. They promise to be there for you, but don’t do it

Mixed signals from a guy with a girlfriend or vice versa can include broken promises. They promise to be there for you but are nowhere to be found. This is heartbreaking, especially when you’re experiencing problems and want the person you love to be there for you.

While there can be instances that they have work or problems of their own, keeping one’s promise is important and proof of their love.

8. They say you’re the one but still communicate with their ex

Mixed signals in a relationship include the feeling of not being the only one with their partner’s attention. You may have a label, and your partner promises everything to you, but you see them constantly sending messages to their ex. What would you feel?

They demand loyalty but can’t do it and always have an excuse. Talk to them and let them know that this bothers you. Explain your situation and see if anything changes.

9. You don’t act as a couple outside

How would you feel if your partner refuses to act sweet when there are other people? What are mixed signals from a girl or a boy who doesn’t want to look like you’re in a relationship when their friends are around?

Aside from being hurt, this is another red flag. You can directly ask your partner or ask for permission, like, “Is it okay if we hold hands?”

10. Says they miss you but won’t make time for you

Here’s another mixed signal in a relationship: when your partner is all sweet and says they miss you but won’t even make time for you.

The person is busy, but we all know you can still make time if someone is important to you, right? Mere words are empty. We want actions to prove that the love they are saying is real.

According to Dionne Eleanor,

Neglecting to make time for your partner is like neglecting to water a plant; without nourishment, the relationship will wither and die.

11. Going from hot to cold

When you enter the relationship, guessing games aren’t included. Your partner could be all over you and be so sweet and caring. Then, they would suddenly be cold as ice for a couple of days.

“Did I do something wrong?” This is the common question you might ask yourself. If you’re a new couple, give time, but let your partner know about this and what it makes you feel if you’re dating for a while.

12. They send lots of messages, then reply with one word

Waiting for a person to reply is not fun. Mixed signals in a relationship can start like this. He might send you a text, and then when you text them back, they send one-word replies.

There might be an explanation for this behavior. They might have the time to send you texts, and then they get busy, but what if it happens often? What if they reply after 2-3 days?

You need to figure out what your real score is. Talk to them or find the perfect time to make things clear.

13. Wants privacy but won’t give it to you

Giving each other privacy is essential in a healthy relationship. But what if it only goes one way?

Your partner wants you to respect their privacy, but you don’t have that luxury. This person is wonderful with words and explains why it’s essential to have privacy, but they do the exact opposite.

Again, the way to clear this is through open communication.

14. Their sex drive doesn’t match yours

Your partner sexually teases you. Tempting, right? It ignites the fire inside you. The only problem is that your partner doesn’t act on those words. This could be confusing and hurtful.

Though, ask or open up to them first. There can be times when these mixed signals are unintentional and can be caused by medical issues.

15. They would be all over you, then disappear for weeks

You’re doing great, and then they ghost you. After some time, you find yourself moving on, and there they are, sending you more mixed signals in a relationship.

Love shouldn’t be like this; it shouldn’t feel like a game, so if it does, know that you have to take mixed signals as a no. Move on, and don’t let this person play around with your feelings.

16. They talk about future plans without commitment

It’s a mixed signal when someone talks about future plans with you, like trips or living arrangements, but hasn’t made any solid commitments to the relationship. 

It can make you feel hopeful about the relationship’s direction but uncertain because their commitment hasn’t been clearly stated. Discussing your expectations and seeking clarity about the relationship’s future can help manage this situation.

17. They are inconsistent with communication

One day, they might be texting you frequently and engaging in deep conversations, and the next, they could be barely responding or using short, unengaging replies. This inconsistency in communication can be confusing and lead you to question their interest in you. 

It’s crucial to communicate your needs and expectations regarding communication patterns to find a balance that works for both of you.

7 ways to interpret and deal with mixed signals

Is it possible to learn how to respond to mixed signals? Should one leave a relationship when there’s confusion and mixed signals?

Don’t expect a smooth-flowing relationship if you and your partner have just started dating. Mixed signals in a relationship this early are common. After all, you’re getting to know each other at this stage.

Before you start feeling resentment, you need to analyze the situation first. This includes checking your behaviors as well. What if you’re also giving your partner mixed signals?

Once you’ve cleared that up, it’s time to focus on how you two communicate. Give each other a chance and work together. If everything doesn’t change, then that’s your cue to leave.

Don’t think that you were not good enough or lovable. Maybe you’re not connected and fell in love with the wrong person.

You shouldn’t let this dictate how you see yourself or handle your next relationship. Disappointments and heartbreaks can happen to all of us. Don’t let it discourage you from loving again.

Knowing that below are 7 ways that might help you when it comes to interpreting and dealing with mixed signals:

1. Clarify intentions directly

The most straightforward way to deal with mixed signals is by seeking clarity. Approach the person sending mixed signals and ask them directly about their intentions or feelings towards you. This conversation should be conducted in a non-confrontational manner. 

Explain that you’re feeling uncertain about their signals and would appreciate honesty so you can understand their perspective better. This approach requires courage and vulnerability but can lead to a clearer understanding of where you both stand.

2. Reflect on the signals

Take some time to reflect on the signals you’re receiving. Are they truly mixed, or could your interpretation be influenced by your fears, insecurities, or past experiences? 

Sometimes, what we perceive as mixed signals are simply our misinterpretations based on our expectations or desires. Try to distinguish between what is being explicitly said or done and what you might be inferring.

3. Consider the context

Context can significantly influence the meaning behind someone’s actions or words. Consider the circumstances under which the mixed signals occur. Are there external factors, such as stress, personal issues, or cultural differences, that might affect the person’s behavior? 

Understanding the context can provide insights into why their signals seem mixed and help you manage the situation more empathetically.

4. Look for consistency

Mixed signals often involve inconsistencies between words and actions. Pay attention to patterns of behavior over time. If someone’s actions consistently don’t match their words, this might be a red flag indicating deeper issues. 

Consistent behavior, however, can help you understand their true feelings and intentions, even if their communication sometimes seems mixed.

5. Set boundaries

It’s important to set personal boundaries when dealing with mixed signals. Decide what you’re comfortable with and communicate your boundaries clearly. 

For example, if the uncertainty is causing you stress or affecting your self-esteem, you may need to step back from the situation or the relationship. Setting boundaries helps protect your emotional well-being and signals to others how you expect to be treated.

Watch this video where Greta Bereisaite, a relationship coach, shares 5 boundaries that can increase your value and respect in relationships:

6. Seek external perspectives

Sometimes, it’s helpful to get an outside perspective. Talk to trusted friends or family members about the situation. They can offer insights or observations that you might not have considered. 

However, ensure that you’re seeking opinions from those who have your best interests at heart and who understand the complexity of human relationships.

7. Prioritize your well-being

Your emotional and mental well-being should be your priority. If dealing with mixed signals is causing you undue stress or unhappiness, it might be time to reevaluate the situation or relationship. 

Focus on activities and relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember, you deserve clarity and respect in your interactions with others.

FAQs

Contemplating the mixed signals in a relationship can be confusing. Here are some commonly asked questions to help understand and deal with these situations more effectively:

• Are mixed signals always intentional?

Not always. Mixed signals can stem from confusion, fear of commitment, or personal issues. While sometimes they may be used to maintain distance or control, often they’re not a deliberate attempt to confuse or mislead.

• How long should one wait for clarity before addressing mixed signals?

Waiting too long can add to the confusion and frustration. It’s advisable to address mixed signals as soon as they start affecting your peace of mind or the relationship’s health, typically within a few weeks.

• Can mixed signals indicate a lack of interest?

Yes, mixed signals can sometimes be a sign of waning interest, especially if the person is inconsistent or avoids discussing the relationship’s future. However, they can also arise from indecision or personal issues unrelated to their feelings for you.

• Should you confront your partner about mixed signals?

Confrontation may sound harsh, but addressing the issue directly and kindly is crucial. Communicating your feelings and seeking clarity is better than letting misunderstandings fester. Approach the conversation with openness, without accusing them of wrongdoing.

• Can a relationship survive persistent mixed signals?

A relationship can survive mixed signals if both partners are willing to communicate openly and work on their issues. Persistent mixed signals, however, can strain a relationship. Identifying the root cause and addressing it together is key to moving forward.

The takeaway

People rarely give mixed signals in a relationship just because they want to play guessing games. It doesn’t mean that your partner is narcissistic; rather, this person might not just be good at expressing their thoughts and feelings.

After all, it is you who will interpret their actions. So, what’s the best course of action? Analyze the situation and talk. Work on your communication so you won’t have to give each other mixed signals. Better communication will lead to a healthy and happy relationship.