15 Pro Tips on How to Be Dominant in Bed and Spice Things Up

Listen to this article

Do you ever get that feeling when you want to know how to be dominant in bed or how to take control in the bedroom?

Do you want to show your partner how your sex life could be made more exciting?

Let’s face it, with all the shows and movies that show off BDSM as a pleasurable activity; it just makes a lot  of couples try it out at least once.

So what’s stopping you from fulfilling this fantasy? We have compiled some of the most fun ways to be dominant in bed.

What is sexual dominance?

We have heard about how to be dominant in a relationship, but do you know how to be dominant in bed?

Dominant sex or sexual domination is all about a set of behaviors and rules that involve controlling your partner (submissive) for pleasure of both individuals.

One plays the dominant partner and the other the submissive partner. Each one has roles to play and rules to follow.

The dom-sub roles are under BDSM. The term BDSM stands for bondage, dominance/submission, sadism, and masochism.

Now, we’re focusing on how to be dominant in bed for your partner.

What are the responsibilities of a dominant?

Before we proceed with the fun stuff of how to be dominant in bed and the ways you can pleasure your partner, we first need to understand the roles of the dominant partner.

Do you think it’s time for you to dominate your husband or wife? Are you tired because your partner is always the one controlling your sex play? Then, start by familiarizing yourself with these responsibilities.

1. You take control over everything
2. You expect to be pleasured
3. You can punish
4. You prioritize your desires
5. You only allow obedience

Now, do you think you’re ready to jump into the role of a sensuous dominant woman and man?

Why might someone want to be more dominant in bed?

Well, think of it like a dance floor – sometimes you want to lead and show off your best moves! Being more dominant in bed can spice things up, boost confidence, and create an exhilarating dynamic with your partner. 

It’s like taking on a role in your favorite movie, where you get to explore desires and fantasies, adding an element of excitement and adventure to your relationship. 

Plus, it can be a fantastic way to break the routine and keep the flames of passion burning brightly in the bedroom! So, grab that imaginary top hat and let the bedroom show begin!

The surprising benefits of being dominant in bed

Embracing dominance in the bedroom can add a thrilling dimension to your intimate life. Beyond the stereotypes and misconceptions, there are some surprising advantages to exploring your dominant side. 

Here are some key benefits that might just make you reevaluate your approach to the art of love:

• Enhanced communication: Being dominant encourages open and honest conversations about desires and boundaries, leading to a deeper connection with your partner.
• Increased confidence: Taking the lead can boost self-assurance and self-esteem, both inside and outside the bedroom.
• Sparks creativity: Dominance allows you to get creative with role-play, fantasies, and new experiences, keeping the passion alive.
• Better stress relief: The power dynamic can provide a welcomed escape from daily stressors, helping you relax and unwind.
• Empowering equality: Surprisingly, dominance can foster a sense of empowerment and equality in the relationship, as it’s based on trust and consent.

15 fun tips to dominate your partner in bed

Believe it or not, most people secretly fantasize about becoming the one being controlled – to be the submissive partner in a sexual play.

So, it’s time to be the dom and start practicing these domination ideas that will surely satisfy you and your partner. Here are 15 fun and sexy ways how to be dominant in bed.

1. Talk to your partner

Before you can dominate your boyfriend or girlfriend, you first need to talk about it, that makes sense, right? The pro tips on how to be dominant in the bedroom start with communication.

Since we’re not in a series or a movie, you can’t immediately become a BDSM-dominant woman or man. You will first need to talk about it as a couple.

This is important because you will need to know if your partner is open to this type of thing. You’re lucky if your partner agrees to try the dom and sub relationship. This is when you can come up with your terms, and you can even talk about which one you can try out first.

2. Be your partner’s boss

The first thing you have to remember if you want to know how to be dominant in bed or how to dominate your partner is to learn how to be bossy.

Being the dominant partner means you have to take control, and it would only work if you know how to be bossy. From how you act, your stand, and the tone of your voice to all your commands – you need to be convincing and firm.

3. Wear something intimidating

Women who wonder how to dominate a man in bed or men fantasizing about how to dominate a woman in bed should pay heed to this tip. This is one of the easiest ways to be a dominant woman in bed.

Now that you’re into character, the next thing that you need to focus on is what you’ll be wearing. If you want to look like those very sexy women dominating sex play, you have to dress for the role.

If you have time, get yourself some sexy costumes or those sultry latex costumes. Your partner will surely appreciate the effort, plus you’ll feel the boost of confidence when you’re wearing proper clothing.

4. Allow your partner to worship your body

Start to dominate them by giving your partner a chance to worship every inch of you. You can give your partner a massage oil or allow them to enjoy the ‘chance’ to kiss your body.

Let your partner use their hands to slowly and passionately touch your body; give them the chance to shower every part of you with sensual kisses.

5. Blindfold and tie your partner

Do you want to know one of the sexiest ways to dominate your man in bed? Invest in those sexy bed restraints and blindfolds and use them to tie your partner in bed.

By doing so, you will have full command of your partner. Stroke him, tease him, and kiss him until he can’t take it any longer. Of course, with consent, you can also grab his hair and spank him. Add naughty words, and you’ll feel that intense fire burning inside.

6. Boss your partner around

How to be dominant in sex? Bring it in your attitude.

While it’s not common to dominate a man in a relationship, you can dominate a man in bed. Boss your partner around and ask him to do things for you. After all, you are the boss, and he’s the Sub.

Take this chance to let him know who the boss is, and don’t forget to make him call you whatever you want. Of course, don’t forget to punish your Sub if he becomes naughty.

Make sure your partner calls you Mistress, Queen, or Boos, your choice, your rules. 

7. Choose sex positions where you have control

You can also choose what sex position to try. Make sure that this position is something you can take complete control of.

Tie your partner in a chair or bed, proceed with penetration, and start pleasuring your partner. Seeing your partner without control is such a lustful moment for the Dom, and the Sub also feels helpless and turned on by this sexual act.

These types of sexual play can intensify the orgasm that both of you will experience.

8. Talk dirty

It doesn’t matter if you do it during intercourse or foreplay – if you talk dirty, it creates this naughty but sexy atmosphere. Make it hotter by whispering it in your partner’s ears.

Tell your partner what you want and what you will do – and all those naughty words will intensify that fire you are feeling inside. When you are near the climax, you can make your dirty words louder.

Sex and Relationship Coach Caitlin V teaches how to talk dirty with your partner. Watch the video:

9. Change your attitude in bed

Dominate them by simply changing your overall attitude in bed.

We all have a naughty side, and this is the right time to unleash that sexy beast inside. Be annoyed, boss around, prioritize your pleasure, tie your partner, and be that dominant yet sexy partner.

If your partner sees how you can change from being quiet to being dominant, that’s already enough to ignite arousal.

10. Try roleplaying

Here’s another way to spice up your sexy time with dominance. Try roleplaying with your partner, and of course, choose roles that make you the boss.

You can be the disciplinarian teacher to a student, a sexy boss to your secretary, the CEO to your innocent employee, and so much more.

Don’t be afraid to invest in costumes, and toys, and of course, be in character.

11. Experiment with sex toys

While you are shopping for restraints, why not add some sex toys to your shopping cart?

Male and female domination requires toys as well. It makes it more fun, and it’s arousing. Try blindfolds, hoods, collars, gags, and even floggers.

12. Tease your partner

Restrains will be your top favorite when you play the dom partner. You can start by teasing your partner. Slow kisses whisper dirty words, lick and touch, and control how your partner feels pleasure.

You’d feel in control as you ask your partner what they are feeling. Make them ask for more, and then you decide how you will proceed.

You can also ask your partner to have a taste of you and then stop. Tease your partner until the urge is too much.

13. Control your partner’s climax

This is where it gets naughtier. One of the best ways to learn how to be dominant in bed is to control your partner’s climax.

You can control every thrust, and when you see that your partner is already near orgasm, stop. Make sure that your partner is restrained as well. 

This will make your partner beg, but you won’t do it because you are the boss you are.

Watch as your partner suffers in pleasure.

14. Try bondage

Now, mild or basic bondage involves restraints, but what if you want to do more? Of course, you need to talk about it first.

You can start with roleplaying with sex toys. You can start with floggers, gags, and even whips. You can use them as tools for punishment when your Sub disobeys you.

Mild bondage is nice and can even heighten the sexual experience for both of you.

15. Have a safe word

Now that we are talking about bondage, be sure that you don’t forget the most important thing – the safe word.

A safe word is a term that both of you have agreed upon.

If the roleplaying or spanking gets painful or if one of you is no longer enjoying it, you have to say the safe word, and everything will stop.

Commonly asked questions

Exploring dominance in the bedroom can be a thrilling and intimate adventure, but it’s essential to understand the difference between dominance and aggression. It’s about trust, consent, and respect for your partner’s boundaries. Let’s address some common questions

• What is the difference between dominance and aggression in bed?

This can lead us to question, “Are narcissists dominant in bed?” Because they usually are, and it is not a healthy pattern to follow in their case.

Dominance is about taking a leading role with your partner’s enthusiastic consent. It involves trust, communication, and respect for boundaries. Aggression, on the other hand, is forceful and lacks consent, which is never acceptable in a healthy relationship.

• How can I be dominant in bed without making my partner feel uncomfortable?

Does your partner complain, “My boyfriend is too dominant in bed?”

To be dominant without making your partner uncomfortable, communication is key. Discuss desires, boundaries, and safe words openly. Listen to your partner’s cues and always prioritize their comfort and consent. It’s a consensual journey you both embark on.

• How do I know if my partner is comfortable with me being dominant in bed?

To gauge your partner’s comfort, maintain ongoing communication. Ask questions, pay attention to their reactions, and encourage them to share their feelings and desires. Building trust is the foundation of a successful dominant-submissive dynamic.

• What if my partner is not comfortable with me being dominant in bed?

If your partner isn’t comfortable with your dominance, it’s crucial to respect their feelings. Never push boundaries or pressure them into anything. Instead, have an open conversation to understand their concerns and find a compromise that works for both.

• What are some common mistakes that people make when trying to be dominant in bed?

Common mistakes include neglecting communication, rushing into things, or failing to respect boundaries. Being overly aggressive without consent or disregarding safe words is also a significant error. To succeed, prioritize trust, consent, and constant communication.

Achieving your sexual best

Steamy, right? Having fun in bed and exploring each other’s sexual potential is such a great way to bond.

Learning how to be dominant in bed is enjoyable, but you have to remember that there are rules to follow. We don’t want to be carried away and end up physically hurting our partners or, worse, making them do something they don’t want.

Don’t get embarrassed if you want to know more about BDSM. If you won’t try it or be open about it, then you’re missing out on so much fun. Good luck, and have fun!