21 Potential Causes of Stress in Relationships & Its Effects

Many people desire to have happy and healthy relationships where there are no problems. However, the challenges that come with living alone are enough to threaten the strength of the relationship.

When some people are faced with relationship problems, which are often induced by stress, they get frustrated and feel like quitting.

One of the best ways to handle stress in a relationship is first to understand what causes it. Awareness about the causes of stress can lead you to work at the root level.

Unfortunately, some partners in relationships cannot solve stress in their relationship because they are unaware of how it began in the first place.

In this Journal written by Mariana K. Falconier et al., stress among couples is viewed from the systemic-transactional stress model stand point. The results of these findings are centered on relationship satisfaction, physical and psychological well-being.

What does relationship stress mean?

What is relationship stress? Relationship stress is a few issues that happen between partners resulting from various circumstances. There can be various and multiple causes of stress working on your relationship gradually and quietly.

When you look at how to deal with stress in relationships, it is challenging but should not be avoided because of the subtle benefits that come with it.

For instance, your partner might be going through difficult times, which can make the relationship stressful.

However, your reaction during their trying times determines if the relationship will stay secure and healthy or not. In addition, a relationship where stress is effectively handled gives each partner the impression that they can count on each other.

21 causes of stress in relationships

Do you wonder why are relationships so stressful? It is correct to mention that stress is an integral part of a relationship because it helps checkmate hidden cracks. This stress from relationships can weaken the very roots of your bond.

When you understand what causes stress in your relationship and use this knowledge to your advantage, you can maintain a healthy and happy relationship with your partner.

Here are the top 20 relationship stressors

1. Finances

One of the signs of a stressful relationship is the poor state of finances. When there are many bills to settle, and finances are not forthcoming, it can create tension between both partners and put the relationship under pressure.

Therefore, partners need to be understanding and open-minded when it comes to financial issues so that it doesn’t adversely affect the relationship.

2. Work

Issues from professional life are potential causes of stress in your overall life. Your work can cause stress in your relationship if you don’t provide a proper balance. For instance, if a partner has to work extra time, the time needed to spend with their partner will be shortened.

This can result in a stressful relationship, and both partners need to understand each other so that it won’t cause problems.

3. Trust

One of the causes of stress in relationships could be trust, especially if it had been lost before. For example, if infidelity existed in the relationship before, it would be challenging for one partner to trust the other. 

Once trust has been lost, it takes ample time to get it back. And during its recovery phase, it can make a relationship stressful.

4. Separation/Breakups

People who have experienced breakups before their present relationship are likely to exhibit anxiety which can cause stress in relationship. 

Hence, irrespective of the type of relationship, the fear of separating from their partner can take an emotional toll on them.

5. Childhood experiences

Trauma and negative past experiences can be common causes of stress in your relationships.

As children and adolescents, we develop some ideologies that we carry into adulthood. No two persons can have the same ideologies, so partners disagree to agree in a relationship. 

However, if one person is adamant and unwilling to unlearn some of the things they picked from childhood, it can affect their relationship.

6. Pessimism

A negative frame of mind can bring out causes of stress in your love life.

No matter the association, pessimism or negativity can induce backwardness. A partner who is always pessimistic will drain their partner’s energy, which will often cause anxiety.

When there is a need for both partners to collaborate, the negatively-minded one would be the progress inhibitor.

7. Jealousy

Another major one among the causes of stress in relationship is jealousy from either one or both partners. There are different reasons why jealousy can set in.

For example, it could be when one party is progressing, and the other is stagnant. Another reason could be when there is betrayal or distrust in the relationship due to past flings.

8. Frequent fights

Even though conflict is an unavoidable feature in relationships, it can be dangerous when it is frequent. 

Both partners might want to be more conscious and deliberate about their actions so that they don’t offend each other. 

However, this would only make them pretend to be who they are not. More so, it becomes another avenue for them to make mistakes instead.

9. Power

When it comes to stress and relationships, power is an important factor usually at play. For example, a partner might feel that their gender gives them the superior leverage to make critical decisions in the relationship.

In contrast, the other partner handles the less complicated ones. Eventually, it creates an unhealthy atmosphere where one party controls while the other listens without objecting.

10. Children

Not everyone in a relationship wants to have children until they become married. However, some people prefer the idea of having children even in a relationship.

When two people with divergent views on this are in a relationship, it could stress them when they disagree.

11. Overbearing behaviors

You and your partner can go through difficult times that can adversely affect the relationship at some point in life. It could be the impact of family, work, finances, and the likes.

These circumstances can make the individuals put up behaviors that can become frustrating.

12. Infidelity

If one partner or both of them begin to have emotional and sexual flings outside the relationship, it is a definite cause of stress in relationship.

It would interest you to know that one of the common reasons why relationships experience setbacks and stress is because infidelity was introduced into the relationship by either one or both partners.

13. Premature ejaculation

For men and women or men and men who are sexual partners, premature ejaculation is a good reason to cause stress in relationships. 

Both partners will not derive the needed satisfaction during sexual activities, creating conflict between them.

14. Health issues

It is quite impossible to have perfect health all through your life. At some point, your health can take a downward spiral which can cause problems in your relationship.

A partner with frequent health problems will stress the other partner out.

15. Sex drive problems

Low libido can make partners disinterested in each other. Even though this can be solved by therapy, which uncovers the root cause of the problem, not everyone is patient to wait till this phase.

Experiencing low sex drive and libido is one of the reasons for stress in relationships that can make partners go their separate ways.

16. Self-centeredness

As humans, it is pretty normal to think of ourselves first before considering others due to our survival instincts.

However, it is not advisable to always do this in a relationship. You need to consider your partner’s needs and sometimes, put theirs before yours. If you always think about yourself before looking at what your partner needs, it can induce stress in relationship.

17. Absence of empathy

Lack of empathy and self-centeredness are pretty connected. Some people cannot understand the pain and difficulties other people are going through.

Similarly, they can only view issues from their standpoint instead of borrowing another eye. If you or your partner does not show empathy in the relationship, it can cause stress.

18. Poor communication

One of the significant factors that cause couple stress in relationship is poor communication. It is one of the reasons why couples regularly experience conflict because they don’t understand each other.

Knowing how to communicate would go a long way to navigate misunderstandings smoothly.

19. Family and friend intrusions

It is challenging to prevent interference from family and friends because we don’t know which meddling will make or break the relationship.

So many problems can spring up from listening to what people are saying about your partner that would make you see them in another light.

This is why partners need to set the boundaries that would prevent interference.

20. Abuse

Abuse can happen in different forms, emotionally, physically, and mentally, and can damage in various ways.

For example, a relationship is meant to be a safe space where both partners can thrive and find solace in each other. But if abuse exists, it would make them want to leave the relationship.

To find out if stress could be the cause of your relationship problems, check out this research study by Kira M. Newman on how stress can come in between you and your partner.

21. Different parenting styles

Parenting styles can stress relationships when both partners have different approaches to raising kids. The mismatch can lead to confusion for kids, arguments between parents, and challenges in working as a team. 

If parents can’t agree on discipline or rewards, it can create tension and make it easier for kids to play one parent against the other.

Dr. Drew Pinsky gives advice to couples with conflicting parenting styles. Watch here:

How does external stress impact relationship dynamics?

External stress can act like a storm that can shake the foundation of a relationship. 

When both partners are dealing with outside pressures, it’s like holding onto an umbrella in the strong wind together. 

The stress can make communication harder, patience shorter, and sometimes, small issues might feel like big problems. It’s important to remember that the storm will pass, and finding ways to support each other during tough times can help keep the relationship strong.

Know more about external factors causing unnecessary stress in a relationship here.

What are the effects of stress on relationships: 5 areas to consider

Stress is a regular feature among individuals that can also affect a relationship. Partners often prefer to keep to themselves, which makes it difficult for their partners to comprehend them.

When stress is not handled, a negative cycle is created where each partner’s stress rubs off on each other. Here are 5 common effects of stress on relationships

• Communication breakdown: Stress can mess with how we talk to each other. It’s like our words get all tangled up. We might misunderstand or not listen well, making it harder to connect.
• Short tempers: Imagine stress as a short fuse. Small things that wouldn’t bug us normally suddenly become a big deal. We might snap at each other quicker, and patience goes out the window.
• Less quality time: Stress can be a time thief. We might be so caught up in problems that we forget to spend good moments together. It’s like missing out on fun times because stress takes up too much space.
• Intimacy struggles: Stress can be like a wall between us. It makes it tough to be close and affectionate. Sometimes, it feels like there’s too much on our minds to connect emotionally.
• Teamwork takes a hit: When stress hits, being a team becomes harder. It’s like rowing a boat, but one of us is paddling in a different direction. We need to work together, but stress can mess with that coordination.

FAQs 

Life can throw a lot of curveballs, and stress is one of them. It’s natural to wonder how stress plays into our relationships and love lives. Let’s break down a few common questions about stress and its impact on love and intimacy.

• Does stress affect love?

Stress can be like a dark cloud, making it harder to see the sunshine in love. It might not change the love itself, but it can definitely make it more challenging to feel and express.

• Can romance relieve stress?

Absolutely! Romance is like a warm hug for stress. When we share sweet moments with a partner, it can act as a stress-buster, bringing smiles and easing tension.

• Is true love stressful?

True love itself isn’t stressful, but life often throws stress our way. The key is facing it together. True love becomes a support system in such situations, helping us navigate through the stormy days.

• Does stress affect intimacy?

Stress can be a bit of a romance thief. It might make intimacy feel like it’s taking a backseat. But understanding each other’s needs and finding ways to relax together can help bring back the closeness.

• How can I relieve stress fast?

Think of stress relief like hitting a reset button. Simple things like taking a deep breath, going for a walk, or sharing a laugh with a loved one can quickly dial down stress levels. It’s about finding what works best for you.

Keeping your relationship stress-free

Partners in a relationship need to spot and discuss things that cause stress. Handling stress in relationships is challenging, but it is needed.

When you assist your partner during their stress period, it makes the relationship more healthy and secure.

They will also be confident in your ability to be physically and emotionally present for them, and they will be willing to return the favor if the coins were flipped.