5 Tips for Choosing the Right Partner for Marriage

Listen to this article

Choosing a life partner for marriage can be a real challenge for many. With so many things to consider, many are likely to cause a lot of internal debate.

From a marriage agency perspective, how to choose a life partner becomes much clearer. Primarily as marriage agencies, or marriage bureaus, talk to so many people and bring so many couples together.

So if you are wondering what to look for in a partner, these are the five top marriage agency tips for choosing the right partner for a lasting relationship.

1. The right partner is someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with

When looking for the right partner for marriage, the most important thing to consider is how much time you will spend together.

For those seeking a well-matched marriage partner for life long happy marriage, choosing someone you truly enjoy spending time with is vital for a happy marriage.

This goes far beyond those fun times enjoyed during dating, the exciting dates, and fun activities you go off to do when getting to know each other.

This is about how it feels during quieter times as well. Whether you can sit, enjoying talking with each other. Or whether you are happy to sit on the beach, quietly watching the waves lap together.

Many couples can enjoy a meal out together, or go off and do something in general. Those activities provide talking points and stimulation that can be shared.

Life long happy marriage can only happen when you still enjoy being together even in the absence of those stimulating activities.

So, when choosing the right partner for marriage, consider how you are together during those quieter times.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, highlights,

2. The right partner is someone who shares your life dreams and goals

It’s good to choose someone you share your dreams, your goals with so that you can move forward in life together.

When you have opposing dreams or goals that conflict, even simple things like whether you wish to have a family in the city or the country, can cause issues.

While being able to compromise is useful in life, especially with your marriage partner, it is better when your shared vision keeps you on a path, which means you have zero need to compromise.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, points out,

When you can agree on things, thus maintaining harmony between you, you will enjoy a happy marriage.

Dietary requirements are something that comes up for many when choosing the right partner for marriage. While a vegetarian and a meat-eater can semi-co-exist, stronger challenges arise with strict vegans.

While a meat-eater may be happy for their partner to be vegan, it may be that the vegan grows sick of their partner eating meat and wishes for them to change.

Something which creates disharmony thus impacts on their ability to enjoy a happy marriage.

So, when looking for the right partner for marriage, consider how your dreams and goals coexist with those of your potential marriage partner.

Choosing the right marriage partner realistically means you share the same dreams and visions for life that you are on track together.

Recommended – Pre Marriage Course Online

3. The right partner treats you with respect and is respected by you

Research has found that even marriage counselors often quote that respect is crucial for a happy marriage. It has been associated as a contributing factor to a relationship’s success. 

Choosing the right partner for marriage involves finding a marriage partner who respects you and whom you respect.

While in some ways, this sounds simple, it can also be challenging.

Understanding respect, and how a person respects you, involves time together doing things and in conversation.

People often fall in love with someone who seems incredibly charming and lovely, thus getting caught up in excitement. Only to realize much too late that they are with a narcissist who has little to no respect for them.

In a way, what is needed is a detached viewpoint. Being too caught up in emotion and attachment can cause you to overlook things. Or gloss over issues that could cause long term unhappiness.

Being mindful of how you treat your potential marriage partner, plus how they treat you, will help you understand whether they respect you. Or whether you should be moving on to find someone more respectful to share your life with.

So, allow yourself time to reflect on how you treat each other.

Reflect on the respect they give, and on the respect, you give to them. When choosing the right partner for marriage, ensure there is mutual respect flowing equally between you.

4. The right partner is someone you can communicate with easily

When choosing the right partner for marriage, communication is something that should be paramount in your thoughts. Especially how easily and openly you communicate which each other.

Research has even suggested that communication is essential for the harmonization of couple relationships.

Unless you can communicate openly and easily with your marriage partner, real challenges will ensue. The core of a happy marriage is the open flow of communication: thoughts, feelings, everything.

When you can discuss things free from fear of judgment and anger, you can enjoy a happy marriage.

When you communicate with your marriage partner, it should be a comfortable, enjoyable experience. Something you look forward to and cherish.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, says,

So, choose someone you can communicate within a nurturing way, giving mutual acceptance of each other’s thoughts and feelings.

5. The right partner is someone who loves and accepts you

For finding the right man or woman, consider how well they accept you for who you are. If your partner wishes to change you, belittles you, or in some way has you feeling they lack respect for who you are, then they are not the right partner for marriage.

The right partner for marriage will love you and accept you for who you are. They nurture and wish to coexist with you in a way that sees unity in how you are together. 

They will love you for your heart, mind, soul, and how you look.

Realistically, when you choose the right partner for marriage, it should be as though there is no better choice.

It would help if you naturally dovetailed together, like a finely crafted jigsaw puzzle, each other’s minds, and souls forming a single entity that is sublimely beautiful when put together.

So, choose someone you naturally fit with. Free from friction or suggestions of change.

Someone who loves and accepts you, complimenting you for who you are. Someone you can naturally be yourself with, safe in the knowledge they love you as you are.

Also, watch the following TED talk where Billy Ward a Licensed Professional Counselor shows the importance of loving others and of being loved.

What to do when they’re hard to find

When all these things are taken into account, choosing the right partner for marriage can seem challenging.

Many people compromise, yielding on things where they think they have no choice. Yet those thoughts come from a lack of self-confidence, lack of self-love.

Provided you accept and honestly believe that each of us has someone perfect out there, and you are committed to finding them. Choosing the right marriage partner becomes relatively easy. It becomes about searching.

Sometimes searching for the right marriage partner can be easy. Some people meet while at school or grow up in the same neighborhood together. Others while traveling or while their partner was living overseas.

I only met my wife after I moved to Japan. Choosing the right marriage partner is only challenging when you are with someone you are unsure of. When you meet the right partner for marriage, it’s a very easy decision to make. It’s just natural.

Providing you have met someone you click with, you will likely choose the right partner for marriage.

For those experiencing challenges finding a marriage partner, marriage agency services are well worth considering, as they can help you unite with that right person, wherever you are living.

When choosing the right partner for marriage, your choice should feel natural, never force it, never accept less than that wonderful happy marriage you truly deserve.