13 Ways to Boost Long-Term Relationship Growth

“Remember when just holding hands felt enough to say everything?” 

As time goes on, love changes—but not in a bad way. It deepens, softens, and asks for a little more care, a little more understanding. The laughter becomes quieter but warmer; the connection, deeper but calmer. 

True relationship growth isn’t about chasing the same thrill—it’s about building something that lasts through all the phases of life. It’s in the comfort of shared silence, the effort to listen, and the courage to keep choosing each other… even on the ordinary days that don’t sparkle.

What is relationship growth 

Relationship growth is the ongoing process where both partners in a relationship deepen their connection, adapt to each other’s evolving needs, and build a stronger bond over time through trust, communication, and shared experiences. 

It isn’t about reaching a perfect point—it’s about staying engaged, caring for one another, and embracing change together.

Example: Two friends-turned-partners start cooking together, then explore new hobbies like gardening or short trips. Each shared experience teaches them more about themselves and each other—fueling steady, meaningful growth in a relationship.

Please note:

It’s completely okay if progress feels slow or uneven at times. What matters is the willingness to stay curious, keep showing up for each other, and remember that growth in a relationship is a journey, not a sprint.

13 ways to boost long-term relationship growth

Long-term love thrives on patience, communication, and small, consistent efforts that keep the bond alive. True relationship growth comes from understanding, supporting, and choosing each other every day—even through life’s ordinary moments.

1. More listening, less talking

When we are speaking with our spouse or partner during a disagreement most of the time, we are barely listening to what our partner is saying. From their first few words, we are already starting to formulate our response or our rebuttal.

• How it works: When you listen without interrupting, your partner feels respected and heard. This lowers defensiveness, builds emotional safety, and encourages more open, honest communication.
• Example: During an argument, instead of interrupting, try saying, “I want to understand what you mean—can you explain a bit more?” This small pause can completely change the tone of the conversation.

2. Building awareness

Many a time, our responses to our partners aren’t responses based on what’s going on in the moment – the responses are based on things we are carrying into the present moment, our current argument.

• How it works: We are bringing in past arguments, past thoughts or feelings, past experiences with similar arguments. How can you learn new ways to make a relationship better if you are not aware of what you may be bringing into the present moment?
• Example: Before reacting during an argument, pause and ask yourself, “Am I upset about this moment, or something from before?” That brief reflection can change the whole conversation.

3. Pay attention to emotions

Another way to make your relationship grow is to pay attention to your emotions and of your partner’s needs. Notice if your heart starts beating faster if you feel like you’re short of breath if you feel like you’re getting hot or heated or sweaty.

• How it works: These are all signs that you have an emotional reaction. Be aware of those, take those into account and build and maintain awareness around your body’s physiological responses. Our body does a great job of keeping track of our emotional responses.
• Example: When you feel your voice rising or your heart racing, take a deep breath and say, “I need a minute to gather my thoughts.” It prevents escalation and encourages empathy.

4. Try something new

Whether it’s something your partner has wanted to try and you’ve been hesitant about, or a new place that neither one of you has been to before, trying something new or different can rekindle the flame and excitement in a relationship.

• How it works: When we are experiencing new things together, it heightens and deepens the connection that we have with our partner.It doesn’t have to be anything crazy – it can simply be ordering something else from your favorite Thai restaurant.
• Example: Instead of your usual dinner spot, surprise your partner with a picnic in the park or a cooking class together—it’s about creating fresh memories, not spending more.

5. Spend more time together

For relationship growth, couples need to spend more quality time together. Are you spending quality time with your partner? Examine the moments, hours, or days that you spend in your partner’s company – is this quality time? Or is this coexisting time?

• How it works: Find space to spend quality time together during times that might in the past have been identified as coexisting times. Look for the opportunities to connect.
• Example: Turn off the TV during dinner and ask, “What made you smile today?” A few intentional minutes of connection can feel more special than hours side-by-side.

6. Spend less time together

OK, I understand this is the direct opposite of the previous number; however, sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder. By spending time apart, we can cultivate a relationship with ourselves.

• How it works: By spending time apart from our partner, we can maybe start to do some of those things on our resolution list for self – exercise, meditate, spend more time with friends, read or write a journal.
• Example: Plan a solo afternoon doing something that fills you up—like journaling at a café or a walk with friends. When you reunite, you’ll bring fresh energy into your togetherness.

7. Put down the phone

Spending less time on the phone is not the same as spending less screen time when you’re with your partner. Mobile phones have a profound effect on our relationships and we must find balance and show restraint.

• How it works: Reducing phone distractions signals to your partner that they have your full attention. This increases emotional safety, strengthens trust, and deepens your sense of connection.
• Example: Try a “no-phone dinner” rule—keep your phones in another room and give each other full attention. You might rediscover stories and laughter that screens often steal.

8. Prioritize intimacy

Intimacy in relationships doesn’t just mean the act of sex or any acts that are associated with sex. Intimacy can also be emotional, being present aware, and emotionally vulnerable with and for your partner.

• • How it works: That’s not to say that physical intimacy doesn’t need to be a priority. There can be space for both physical intimacy and emotional vulnerability. Prioritize intimacy and reconnect with your partner.

• Example: Before bed, ask your partner, “How are you really feeling today?” A five-minute heart-to-heart can deepen emotional intimacy more than any grand gesture.

9. Reestablish relationship intentions

Many a time in a relationship or marriage, we get overwhelmed with the duties of the day-to-day. What would it look like to reestablish and re-commit to your intentions in your romantic partnership?

• How it works: Setting intentional time aside to reestablish relationship intentions can help you feel more connected to your partner and more heard as an individual within the relationship.
• Example:  Set aside one evening each month for a “relationship check-in.” Discuss what’s going well, what feels off, and what you both want to nurture next.

10. Have more fun

Laugh. There is enough seriousness going on in our lives, in our communities, in the world. There is a lot to be frustrated about, A lot that isn’t fair, and probably more than we would like are the things that make us uncomfortable.

• How it works: The antidote to that could be finding more opportunities to have fun, be silly, playful, and childlike. Watch a movie just because it makes you laugh, share jokes or memes with your partner. Make it a priority every day to help your partner smile.
• Example: Start a mini tradition—like a weekly “laugh night” where you watch funny videos or share memes. Small, silly moments can lift even the heaviest days.

11. Express gratitude often

It’s easy to take your partner for granted when life gets busy, but gratitude keeps appreciation alive. A simple “thank you” or “I noticed what you did” can make your partner feel valued and seen.

• How it works: Expressing gratitude releases positive emotions that strengthen connection and reduce resentment. It helps both partners focus on what’s going right instead of what’s missing.
• Example: Say, “Thanks for handling dinner tonight—I really appreciate it.” Small acknowledgments build emotional warmth over time.

12. Communicate needs clearly

Healthy communication is at the heart of relationship growth. Often, partners expect each other to “just know” what they need—but love isn’t mind-reading. Being open and kind about your feelings prevents misunderstanding and frustration.

• How it works: When both partners express needs respectfully, it fosters trust and creates emotional safety. Honest communication helps each person feel heard, supported, and understood.
• Example: Instead of saying, “You never listen,” try, “I feel hurt when I’m interrupted—can we talk without distractions?” Clarity builds connection.

Watch this TED Talk by Amy Scott, a communication coach, who shares how mindful communication helps build stronger, more connected relationships. 

13. Practice forgiveness

No relationship is without mistakes or misunderstandings. Holding onto grudges can quietly erode love, while forgiveness allows you both to move forward with compassion and growth.

• How it works: Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the behavior—it frees your heart from bitterness. It opens space for healing, understanding, and renewed trust.
• Example: If your partner forgets something important, instead of holding onto anger, say, “I was disappointed, but I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.” Letting go nurtures peace and emotional closeness.

FAQ

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but understanding how to grow together makes all the difference. Here are some simple answers to common questions about building a lasting, healthy bond.

• How to keep love strong after many years together?

By staying curious about each other, showing appreciation, and finding small ways to reconnect every day. Little efforts keep the spark alive.

• How can I tell if my relationship is growing?

You’ll notice more understanding, respect, and calm during disagreements. You feel safe expressing yourself, and both partners make an effort to keep improving.

• What if only one partner is trying to grow?

Growth can start with one person, but it thrives when both participate. Communicate your feelings gently and invite your partner to work on it together.

Growing together

Relationship growth isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, patience, and presence. Every shared laugh, honest talk, or act of kindness helps build a deeper bond. Love grows stronger when both partners keep choosing each other, even on quiet or difficult days. 

Celebrate small wins, forgive often, and keep learning side by side. With understanding and effort, your relationship can evolve beautifully—steady, resilient, and full of warmth that lasts through all seasons of life

Marriage.com Assessment

Quiz: How Strong Is Your Relationship Really?

Every relationship is shaped by countless daily interactions, how you communicate, support each other, and work through challenges together. Over time, these patterns reveal the true foundation of your partnership. This research-informed relationshi...

Questions: 20 | Last updated: Oct 27, 2025

Sample Question

When you and your partner have a disagreement, what usually happens?

We argue or shut down instead of resolving things calmly

We feel distant afterward and take time to reconnect emotionally

It sometimes creates doubt about how secure our relationship feels

One of us withdraws while the other pushes for closeness

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Dr Mae Casanova Psychologist

Dr. Mae Casanova is a licensed clinical psychologist based out of San Diego, Ca. She considers herself a therapist, consultant, writer and growth coach. She fosters a therapeutic environment that has both acceptance and challenge, and is meaning/value focused. Her approach is unique to each client,... Read more meeting them where they are emotionally, intellectually, and physically. But above all- she wants you to know she is human- just like you. Perfectly flawed, doing her best to connect, thrive and grow. Read less

(Mae Casanova is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in San Diego)