Sex in Your 40s: 20 Things to Keep in Mind

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As we age, our body goes through changes. The metabolism may start to slow down, the joints start cracking, and suddenly you may feel that the oomph from life has vanished.

These changes are inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you can give up the thought of enjoying your life.

People think sex life dies when you reach 40. But what is the truth about sex in your 40s?

You’ve enjoyed the glorious years of your life. Now, it’s time that you calm down and cherish aging. Well, there are various to have sex over 40, and you can still enjoy it with an aging body. Let’s see how! 

What sex after 40 is really like 

If you are reading this to know what life will be like once you hit that age, or are someone trying to figure out your sex life at the age of 40, and beyond, you are probably wondering what sex after forty is like.

The truth is the body goes through several hormonal changes at this age. Experts say that when someone turns 40 or reaches the age around the number, both men and women are likely to experience hormone changes, which affect their sexual drive and physical comfort during sexual activity. 

People may experience difficulty in arousal, more effort, or sensual pleasuring to feel sexual desire.

However, you may also find yourself more explorative and confident in bed. Experts also say that people in their 40s are likely having the best sex of their lives because they have more consent, more sexual confidence, and are likely to have a stronger, more passionate bond with their partners.

It is also recommended that people over 40 take care of their heart health, as it is likely to affect their sexual life and health directly.

Watch this video to understand more about sexuality and ageing.

Sex in your 40s: 20 things to keep in mind

Sex in your 40s can be exciting, explorative, and fun. Here are some things you should remember regarding sex when you are over 40. Here are some sex tips for over 40.

1. Start paying extra attention to your health

Without a doubt, you need to take care of your health. As we age, our body demands special attention. You may have neglected your health during the early years of life, but as we touch 40, you must stay fit.

Join a gym, get into regular health check-ups, and consult the doctor whenever necessary. Certainly, if your body is fit and healthy, you will enjoy sex. 

2. Be careful about STIs (Sexual Transmitted Infection)

It’s understood that you had a wild sex life when you started your relationship. But that doesn’t mean you can continue to enjoy it flawlessly when you touch 40. It’s been observed that people who go through separation around this age neglect safe sex.

They have been in a committed relationship, but not anymore. So, if you’re one of those, make sure that you practice safe sex and take precautions when getting involved in sex.

3. Explore the wild part

As you reach 40, you likely gain more experience and are more confident in your sexuality. Now can be the perfect time to explore new things.

You’re aware of your likes and dislikes and have gained sexual experience over the years. So, when you reach 40, you’re open to new kinky things and won’t shy away from trying.

Who says sex dies after 40? All you need is a bit of inspiration, and you’re good to go. 

4. Keep aside your financial issues

Financial issues is one of the main problems most couples go through by mid age. They have a family and expenses lined up in front of them, and the thought of repaying them greatly disturbs them.

The solution could be to have a monthly meeting wherein you can discuss the financial status and keep the spreadsheets away from the bedroom. Don’t let anything come in between the two of you. 

5. Performance doesn’t bother you anymore

As mentioned above, by reaching 40, you’re sexually confident. You know what you’re best at, and the performance issue is out of the question now.

You’re more focused on enjoying sex than worrying about impressing your partner. You can be at your best when the pressure is out of the window. 

6. Even quickies are uplifting

Sex frequency after 40s can decline, but quickies may be a good hack.

When you started, you were concerned about quiet sex and quickies. As you started the family, you found ways to enjoy these two. By age 40, you will be an expert in it.

So, quickies and quite a sex over 40 are new, and you enjoy it. Cherish the moment and add this to your relationship portfolio. 

7. Conceiving may be a problem

Our body goes through certain changes by the time we reach 40.

Women’s eggs decrease, and it may be a challenge if you’re trying to conceive. It won’t be an easy task for you, and you may find yourself more involved in fertility treatment or baby-making sex.

So, conceive when the egg quantity is good, as the chances of complications increase later. 

Related Reading:- 3 Common Mistakes Couples Make While Trying to Conceive

8. Create your ritual

How to make sex more interesting after 40?

It’s time that you spend some quality time doing something a-sexual. For instance, you can co-cook every Sunday or give each other foot massages every Saturday night and can do some outdoor activity every first weekend of the month.

This way, you’re strengthening your relationship and exploring various facets of your partner. 

LCSW Danica Mitchell says,

Creating rituals for emotional intimacy can be a great way to make those moments extra special and prevent small acts from getting lost in the hectic parts of life. Having strong emotional intimacy is a great foundation for sexual intimacy

9. Unveil your foreplay expertise

Foreplay is underrated in sexual activities. Nonetheless, you want to take things nice and easy when you grow old. That’s when foreplay emerges as an important part. So, when you’re getting involved in sex over 40, consider unveiling your foreplay expertise.

Look for various ways to provide satisfaction to your partner through foreplay. This will help you maintain sexual excitement, which otherwise might vanish. 

10. Spontaneous sex in a long-term relationship

As couples are busy raising kids and keeping their families intact, they may find sex taking a back seat in their lives. This may be because a lot of couples want to go for planned sex. But, as you age, you should be more open to spontaneous sex.

Try out new things, experiment with the position, and have sex whenever you both are free or if you can sneak out for a while. These exciting moments will keep you both together and have sex alive in your relationship.

Related Reading:- 20 Keys to a Successful Long Term Relationship?

11. Be accepting and confident of your body

Your body is likely to undergo several changes when you reach the age of 40. You may not feel as you used to in your 20s or even 30s. You may also start to notice that you look different now. 

However, a key to good sex in your 40s is accepting your body and the changes it is going through. You should also love your body and be confident about it. Confidence is attractive to people, and your partner will likely see your body how you see it.

Related Reading:- 25 Ways To Exude Confidence In Your Relationship

12. Positions are all the more important

As your body changes, the sex has to change with it. You may have developed certain body or health issues that make certain sex positions hard for you. Discuss positions that work the best for both of you, in terms of comfort and pleasure, with your partner.

Danica Mitchell further adds,

There are also many tools, such as pillows and chairs, that can make different positions more comfortable and enjoyable

13. Lubricants can help

Lubricants can help make sex smooth-sailing for you when trying to experiment with new positions or just trying different things, especially after a certain age. Please do not shy away from giving them a chance.

14. Feed the feel-good hormones

How to increase sex drive in men over 40?

Oxytocin, endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine are the feel-good hormones. Physical touch, acts of love, having fun together, spending time with each other, and similar activities are likely to cause a release of one or more of these hormones in your body. 

When these hormones are released, you will likely feel closer and more in love with your partner, and the sex will only improve.

15. Keep your partner secure

As we grow older, we may become insecure about our age and bodies. Making your partner feel secure and reassured that you still love and want them can affect your sex life positively, especially after a certain age.

Related Reading:- What Is Security in a Relationship?

16. Keep communication open

Everything can be taken care of if you and your partner can communicate openly and honestly about things. When it comes to sex over 40, if you talk about things you like or do not and what you are comfortable with, things are likely to be much easier for both of you.

17. Get proper sleep

As you grow older, your responsibilities are likely to increase. With taking care of the kids, the house, and doing your job, you may start to lose out on sleep, which can adversely affect your health and even your sex life. Try to keep a proper sleep cycle and stick to it to have good sex after age 40.

18. You do not always have to stick to a routine

Try to break the routine when you can. Even though routine is comforting and makes you feel more organized when so much is happening, it can also get monotonous and boring. Doing something spontaneous and fun with your partner can keep your chemistry strong and the sex great.

19. Watch what you eat

Apart from regular visits to the doctor and an exercise routine, watching what you eat is also super important for a healthy, happy sex life post your 40s. Controlling extra weight and eating a healthy and balanced diet can go a long way.

20. Say, “I love you.”

A study has shown that expressing your love to your partner during sex can positively affect your quality, especially as you age. Ensure that you let your partner know how you feel about them. Intimacy is more than just sex – it is also emotional.

The takeaway

Sex is an important component of a romantic relationship. It can be a difficult subject for some couples, especially as you start to age. 

Keep in mind the things mentioned above, and they should help you and your partner improve your sex life as you age. However, if you struggle with sex as you age, seeking professional help is always a good idea.