15 Essential Tips on How to Save a Broken Marriage
A strong marriage requires two people who choose to love each other even on those days when they struggle to like each other. – Dave Willis
Marriage is often described as a journey, but what happens when the road becomes rocky, and the bond you once cherished starts to crumble?
It’s a painful reality many couples face, leaving them wondering if the love they once shared can ever be restored. Have you found yourself questioning if your relationship is beyond repair? Do you fear that the damage might be too deep to heal? Pause for a moment—because there’s hope.
Even in the darkest times, fixing a broken marriage is possible with the right guidance and commitment.
Research shows that couples who actively work on their issues are more likely to rebuild their relationship and find lasting happiness.
So, how to fix a broken marriage? This article offers 15 essential tips that can guide you on the path to healing, helping you rediscover the connection you thought was lost.
Can you save a broken marriage?
Saving a broken marriage is possible, but it’s not an easy road. The truth is, healing a broken marriage requires more than just love; it demands commitment, effort, and often, the willingness to confront some painful truths.
If you’re wondering how to fix a broken marriage, the first step is acknowledging that something is deeply wrong and that both partners must be willing to work on it together.
It’s important to be realistic—some marriages can’t be saved, especially if the issues have festered for too long or if both partners aren’t fully committed to the process.
But if there’s still a spark of mutual respect and a genuine desire to rebuild, then there’s hope. It’s about taking small steps, seeking help when needed, and being patient with each other as you find your path to healing.
How do I know if my marriage is worth saving?
When your marriage feels like it’s on the brink of collapse, it’s natural to wonder if it’s worth saving. The uncertainty can be overwhelming, and the fear of making the wrong decision may keep you up at night.
But before you make any decisions, it’s important to take a step back and assess your situation with honesty and compassion. Understanding whether there’s still a foundation to build upon can be the first step in figuring out how to fix a broken marriage.
Below is a self-assessment questionnaire to help you determine if your marriage is worth the effort of healing or if it might be time to consider other paths.
Question Yes No
Do both of you still care deeply for each other?
Are you both willing to work on your issues?
Is there mutual respect left in the relationship?
Can you envision a future together?
Are the problems mainly situational, not fundamental?
Do you both miss the closeness you once shared?
Are you open to seeking professional help?
Do you still trust each other?
Can you communicate without constant conflict?
7 things to know when repairing a broken marriage
When you’re in the process of repairing a broken marriage, there are some hard truths and realities that you need to understand. These aren’t quick fixes or easy answers, but they’re essential for anyone serious about how to fix a marriage that is falling apart. Here are seven things to keep in mind:
1. Healing takes time
Repairing a broken marriage doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that requires patience. You’ll face setbacks, and sometimes progress will feel painfully slow. But remember, time is your ally, not your enemy.
2. Trust must be rebuilt
If trust has been broken, know that it won’t be restored with a single conversation or gesture. Rebuilding trust is a gradual process, where consistent actions matter more than words. It requires proving to each other, time and again, that you’re committed to change.
3. Communication is often the biggest hurdle
Many marriages break down due to poor communication. Misunderstandings, assumptions, and unresolved arguments can pile up, creating distance. You’ll need to learn to communicate openly and honestly, but also to listen—really listen.
4. Resentment lingers longer than you think
Even when you decide to work on your marriage, old hurts can resurface unexpectedly. Resentment can be a silent destroyer, making it hard to move forward. Acknowledging this reality is crucial to understanding how to fix a broken marriage.
5. Both partners must be all in
A marriage can’t be repaired if only one person is committed to the process. It takes two people, fully invested in the relationship, to make things work. If one partner is unwilling, the chances of success drop significantly.
6. Love alone isn’t enough
Love is essential, but it’s not a cure-all. Other factors like respect, empathy, and shared values are just as important. Understanding this can shift your perspective from romantic ideals to the practical work needed to fix a marriage that is falling apart.
7. Professional help might be necessary
Sometimes, you can’t do it alone. Seeking help from a therapist or counselor isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a step toward healing. A professional can offer tools and perspectives that you might not have considered, making the journey toward repairing your marriage a bit smoother.
How to save a broken marriage: 15 essential tips
If you are wondering about how to fix a marriage or relationship, you need to take a step back, reflect, and consider what is truly wrong and then try out these ways on how to rekindle a marriage.
1. Identify what made you fall in love
It’s heartbreaking when you think about how madly you were in love with your partner and how damaged your relationship has gotten.
If you are thinking about how to fix and save a broken marriage or how to mend a broken relationship, get back to basics and put yourself into the mindset of when you were first together and first in love.
Think about what made you fall in love with one another and maybe even write it down.
Consider what you adored about this person and what made you want to be with them.
Though you may have lost sight of this, thinking back to when times were good and you had just fallen in love can help lift your spirits and heal your broken marriage.
You can also opt for Save My Marriage Course online.
Write down their best traits, and you may even find that they are still there, but you’ve had a hard time getting in touch with them lately.
2. Start to listen to each other again
Have conversations again and start to communicate with one another. Listen to what your spouse is telling you, and then ask the same from them.
Make it a point to listen to one another again, and it may very well be what helps you uncover what was once great about your marriage.
Wondering how to make a marriage work? Just listen to your partner, try to understand what they need. This is one of the most important things you can do to fix and save a broken marriage.
Listening is powerful! Listening carefully will help you save your marriage.
3. Reflect on what has made your marriage feel broken
Why do marriages fail? Where did things go wrong? What happened that got you to the point of a broken marriage? Have you grown apart? Did one of you cheat? Or did life get in the way?
Identifying the causes of a broken marriage is important to fix one.
Even if a relationship has gone through such problems, saving a broken marriage is not impossible.
Think of when things went from good to bad, and then try to find a solution to fix a broken relationship or fix a broken marriage.
4. Talk to each other
Be patient with one another, even in the areas that present the biggest problems. This can be really helpful in your quest to fix and save a broken marriage.
A study establishes the fact that an increase in liking between individuals is correlated with an increase in patience.
Talk to one another rather than at one another. This is part of listening; when you improve communication, it helps you connect again.
Be patient and willing to work through the problems and know that it will lead you to better times. This is a critical issue to consider when saving your marriage from falling apart.
5. Don’t let distractions get in the way of your relationship
Sure, you may have kids and careers and many other things in your life, but don’t let them stand in the way of your marriage.
Life gets busy, but a couple must grow together and align throughout the good and bad times.
Make it a point to date again, talk more, and ensure that you are still a unified source no matter how busy life may get. Keep dating your partner, and dating is the key to save a broken marriage.
It helps to fix and save a broken marriage because as you schedule dates to meet each other with a free mind, you can keep yourselves accountable to one another.
6. Find a way to connect again
Think of what it would take to connect once again. It could be anything big or small.
Plan a trip for just the two of you. Commit to spending even a few minutes together every night chatting. Go out on dates and make each other a priority.
7. Commit to each other
Fixing a broken marriage is never easy.
Aside from trying, you also have to commit, and most of the time, this is where things go wrong.
Some people have a hard time committing, and this causes further problems. Learning how to repair a broken marriage starts with commitment.
8. Fix yourself first
When thinking of how to mend a broken marriage, remember that healing a broken marriage starts with us. It’s easier to point fingers and list all the things your partner lacks, but marriage isn’t like that.
If you want to fix what’s broken in your marriage, you also need to reflect on yourself and work on it first.
We’re not perfect, but if you are both willing to work on yourselves first, then on your marriage, it will work out.
Remember, you should be sure of yourself and be complete so that your partner won’t have to carry your weight in the relationship.
9. List all your spouse’s positive traits and appreciate
“I want to know how to fix my marriage, but my spouse is always making mistakes!”
There’s one way to learn how to fix a broken marriage, and that is through listing your spouse’s positive traits.
Of course, this will depend on the reason your marriage is on the rocks. If it were because of infidelity or abuse, this tip wouldn’t apply.
If your broken marriage was because of differences in priorities, crisis, poor communication, or even about money, you could still use this technique.
List all the positive traits of your spouse. Your spouse might not align with your priorities, but he might be a good cook, works hard, makes you feel seen, or doesn’t drink or smoke for your sake.
We focus too much on what we can’t see rather than the things that we do. If you can appreciate the things that your spouse can do, it will be easier to make an effort and find ways how to restore a broken marriage.
10. Get to know each other again
A lot of women wonder, “How to fix my marriage with my husband?” Busy routines are a big factor behind this.
Because of our hectic schedule, kids, and stress, we wake up one day and we don’t know our spouse the way we used to.
Learn how to save a marriage that is falling apart by committing that you will try to understand each other more.
Get to know each other again. Learn what makes your spouse inspired, their goals, and what they don’t like. Getting to know each other again will help you understand where both of you are coming from.
Learn how to understand your partner better by relationship coach Jen Michelle in this video:
11. Acknowledge and accept the flaws
No marriage is perfect, and expecting perfection can set you up for disappointment.
Understanding and accepting each other’s flaws is a crucial step in repairing a broken marriage.
For example, if your partner tends to be forgetful, instead of seeing it as a personal slight, recognize it as a quirk and find ways to work around it.
A simple way to implement this is by focusing on your partner’s strengths rather than dwelling on their weaknesses, which can ease tension and foster a more compassionate relationship.
12. Revisit shared goals and dreams
Over time, couples may drift apart because their goals and dreams evolve, but they stop communicating about them.
Reconnecting with the aspirations you once shared, or discovering new ones together, can reignite the bond.
For instance, if you both once dreamed of traveling the world but got sidetracked by life’s responsibilities, start by planning small trips. This small act of aligning your visions for the future can bring you closer and help you figure out how to fix a broken marriage.
13. Create new positive memories
While it’s essential to remember why you fell in love, creating new, positive experiences together can help solidify your bond in the present.
Engaging in new activities or adventures as a couple can provide fresh perspectives on your relationship.
For example, try taking up a hobby together, like cooking classes or hiking. By doing so, you build a reservoir of good memories that can counterbalance the tough times, making it easier to focus on how to fix a marriage that is falling apart.
14. Practice daily acts of kindness
Small, thoughtful gestures can have a significant impact on a marriage.
Acts of kindness, like making your partner their favorite breakfast or leaving a sweet note, can go a long way in showing appreciation and love.
These daily reminders that you care can soften hearts and help rebuild emotional connections. To start, commit to one kind gesture each day, which can slowly but surely contribute to healing a broken marriage.
15. Be willing to forgive
Forgiveness is a cornerstone of any strong marriage. Holding onto past hurts can create a barrier to moving forward.
If your partner has made mistakes, and they are genuinely committed to change, consider the power of forgiveness.
This doesn’t mean forgetting, but it does mean letting go of the resentment that can prevent you from fully repairing your relationship. Begin by having an open conversation about past grievances, and work on releasing the grudges that hinder your progress in fixing a broken marriage.
Act when it’s not too late
At the end of the day, saving your marriage is about more than just fixing what’s broken—it’s about building something even stronger than before. It’s a journey that requires commitment, patience, and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths.
But if both of you are ready to put in the work, the rewards can be incredible. So, take that first step today. Reflect on what you truly want for your relationship and start the conversation with your partner.
There’s no magic formula, but with the right mindset and effort, you can reignite the love and connection you once shared. Don’t wait for things to get better on their own—take action now and fight for the marriage you believe in. It’s never too late to start anew.
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