Why Couples Need More Than Pre Marriage Counseling

Shellie R. Warren

Shellie R. Warren

Shellie R Warren is an author, writer, marriage life coach and doula. Her passion is covenant and spends a lot of time devoted to that area. You can check out her blog for... Read more

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Updated: 28 Mar, 2025

Table of Contents

Strong communication foundations deepen connection by learning honest listening and respectful sharing, and keep practicing with support from a counselor.
Navigate tough times with a trained guide to heal hurts and set shared goals, so you build resilience and move forward as a team.
Prioritize ongoing intimacy by using regular check-ins to stay attuned to each other's needs, so closeness grows and you feel seen.

When you first got engaged, hopefully before getting married, you signed up for some premarital counseling sessions. Young couples can enjoy the benefits of marriage counseling and get a better understanding of how married life should be, from an experienced marriage coach.

In fact, there are numerous reasons why it’s such a beneficial thing for engaged couples to do. It can help you to better understand the magnitude of the commitment that you are about to make. Also, couples counseling can provide you with some of the tools that you need to prepare for the future.

Further, it can also help you and your partner to explore issues like money management, raising children, and how to balance your relationship with your in-laws.

In short, pre-marriage counseling or couples counseling before marriage is a way to make “easing into marriage life” a lot easier to do.

However, one mistake that a lot of married couples tend to make is assuming that after the wedding ceremony, counseling is no longer needed; that unless they are in serious trouble and/or they are contemplating divorce, there’s no need to see a marriage counselor.

But the reality is that marriage counseling is also helpful even after you are happily married. It is a way to remain proactive about your marriage rather than reactive to the problems that may arise within it.

If you are currently married, but you’ve never gone to a marriage counseling session before, here are five (other) reasons or benefits of marriage counseling to help you understand why it could end up being one of the best investments that you could ever make in your relationship with your spouse.

How effective is marriage counseling?

1. Counseling will improve communication

Although a lot of people may think that infidelity or even financial struggles are the leading causes of divorce, there are studies that indicate that an even bigger reason is poor communication between partners.

When couples do not take the time to listen to one another, to convey their emotions in a clear way, and show respect for their spouse’s feelings, over time, that can lead to resentment which can cause all kinds of walls to go up.

A marriage counselor is trained in how to provide skills that will help you and your spouse to truly connect in a way that will ultimately bring both of you closer together.

But, a relationship counseling entails both the partners have to be honest during such sessions, else you cannot truly enjoy the benefits of marriage counseling as such.

2. It can help you to work through painful experiences

It would certainly be nice if married people did not make mistakes.

But because everyone is human, there may be times when hurtful things happen. There may be an affair (physical or emotional). There may be some type of substance abuse or alcoholism. Or, there might be another type of addiction, such as porn, gambling or eating.

Whatever the challenge, during the bleak moments of marriage, it can be reassuring to have a qualified mediator present. Someone who can show you and your spouse how to survive the tough times.

This is just one more reason to consider going to marriage counseling before marriage to stay prepared or harness the benefits of couples therapy once problems arise after marriage.

Recommended – Pre Marriage Course

3. Marriage counseling is great for setting goals

You know the saying: “Fail to plan, plan to fail.” When two people are married, it’s important that they take out the time to think about what they want to accomplish as a team.

Do you want to buy a house? Do you want to do more traveling? Perhaps the two of you are considering starting a business together.

Initially, you might not think that marriage counseling is the ideal setting to have these types of conversations. But the reason why it could prove to be very beneficial is that the counselors are trained to ask specific questions. And, they are trained to provide certain insights that will lead you and yours to the best resolve.

So, are you wondering when to go to marriage counseling? Probably, this is the right time to pay a visit to a marriage coach near you and get help from the untold benefits of marriage counseling.

4. You can learn how to be more intimate with your spouse

Learn to be more intimate with spouse

Does marriage counseling work? As mentioned earlier, the benefits of marriage counseling is limitless. But there are situations when only an experienced counselor can truly guide you to the right path.

Let’s see how!

We all know that sex is essential in a marriage. But, any couple who’s been married for more than five years or so will tell you that sex changes over time.

Your body goes through changes. Your schedule becomes more taxing. The daily demands of work, children and other activities can get in the way. In fact, there is approximately 20 percent of married couples within the United States alone who are in a sexless marriage (they have sex 10 or fewer times each year).

You didn’t sign up for your spouse to be your roommate. They are to be your life partner, friend and your lover too. If you are having issues when it comes to intimacy, this is just one more area where a marriage counselor can be of help.

They can offer tips to help you get your love life back on track.

5. Couples need their “marriage temperature” taken

So, what if nothing is wrong in your marriage? If that is indeed the case, first of all, congratulations! And you know what? One of the best ways to ensure that it stays intact is to see a marriage counselor once or twice a year to enjoy the benefits of marriage counseling.

They can assess if any areas could potentially lead to issues up the road. Plus, they can advise on how to make your union even better.

Yes, engaged couples should get some pre-marriage counseling. But if you have stayed away from counseling before marriage, you need to understand when to seek marriage counseling.

Instead of wondering, ‘does marriage counseling really work,’ one should give it a try to enjoy the benefits of counseling after marriage. After all, you’re married; it is worth your time, effort, and money to get in a few marriage counseling sessions too!

It will not harm your marriage; instead, you will gain a new perspective about life after marriage, altogether. So go for it!

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Shellie R. Warren

Shellie R Warren is an author, writer, marriage life coach and doula. Her passion is covenant and spends a lot of time devoted to that area. You can check out her blog for... Read more single women who desire marital covenant at www.OnFireFastMovement.blogspot.com Read less