Separation Anxiety From Partner: Symptoms, Causes & How to Cope

You and your partner have been inseparable, sharing every moment and building a life together. But now, one of you has to leave for a week-long business trip. 

Suddenly, your stomach is in knots, and you can’t shake the uneasy feeling of being apart. This nagging worry, this intense discomfort—could it be separation anxiety from a partner?

Have you ever felt an overwhelming sense of dread when your loved one leaves? 

Do you find yourself constantly worrying about their safety and well-being when they’re not around? 

Is it hard to focus on anything else until they’re back by your side? 

Separation anxiety in adults from partners is more common than you might think. 

So, what can you do about it? 

This article explores the symptoms of separation anxiety, its underlying causes, and practical ways to cope. Whether you’re struggling yourself or trying to support a partner who is, understanding this anxiety is the first step toward managing it effectively.

What is separation anxiety in relationships?

Separation anxiety isn’t just a childhood issue; it can deeply affect adults, especially in relationships. Imagine feeling a wave of panic or an intense worry every time you and your partner are apart. This is what separation anxiety from a partner feels like.

Research highlight = Recent evidence indicates that adults can suffer from moderate to severe separation anxiety. A research article on adult separation anxiety disorder (ASAD) suggests that those with ASAD may exhibit more pronounced symptoms of depression and stress, higher neuroticism scores, and increased levels of disability.

In relationships, this anxiety can show up in different ways: incessant texting or calling to check in, seeking constant reassurance, or even experiencing physical symptoms like a pounding heart or a knot in your stomach. 

It’s more than just missing your partner; it’s a relentless fear that something might go wrong when you’re not together.

5 major separation anxiety symptoms in relationships

Separation anxiety from a partner can be a daunting task to face. It’s a real and challenging issue that can manifest in numerous ways, often creating hurdles in even the strongest relationships.  

Let’s understand the major symptoms and their types:

Emotional symptoms

1. Intense worry and fear: Constantly worrying about your partner’s well-being or fearing that something bad will happen when you’re apart is a hallmark of separation anxiety from partner.
2. Overwhelming sadness: Feeling excessively sad or even experiencing episodes of crying when your partner is not around.

Physical symptoms

3. Physical discomfort: Separation anxiety from a spouse can cause physical reactions such as stomachaches, headaches, or a racing heart when separated.

Behavioral symptoms

4. Clinginess and overcommunication: The need to constantly call or text your partner, seeking reassurance, can be a significant behavioral sign of separation anxiety from partner. This can sometimes lead to tension and misunderstandings.

Cognitive symptoms

5. Intrusive thoughts: Experiencing persistent, unwanted thoughts about something terrible happening to your partner or your relationship can be exhausting and mentally draining.

What causes separation anxiety in couples?

Separation anxiety in couples is a multifaceted issue with various underlying causes. Let’s walk through some of the main reasons why this happens.

1. Attachment styles

One of the primary reasons for separation anxiety from a partner is rooted in our attachment styles, which develop early in life. Individuals with an anxious attachment style often fear abandonment and have a deep need for closeness and reassurance. 

When they’re apart from their partner, this fear can trigger separation anxiety. This manifests as a constant need to check in, worry about the relationship’s stability, and feel an overwhelming sense of dread when not together.

Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Kim Sage Answers how attachment anxiety sabotages your relationships. Watch the video:

2. Past trauma

Experiences of past trauma, such as previous relationships where trust was broken, can significantly contribute to separation anxiety from a partner. 

If someone has been betrayed or abandoned before, they may carry those fears into their current relationship. This past trauma can cause them to anticipate the worst when their partner is not around, leading to intense feelings of anxiety and insecurity.

3. Lack of trust and communication

Another key factor is the lack of trust and poor communication within the relationship. 

When couples don’t communicate effectively or when trust issues exist, it can exacerbate feelings of separation anxiety from a spouse. Misunderstandings, doubts, and unresolved conflicts can lead to increased anxiety when apart, as one or both partners might worry about the other’s actions or fidelity.

How to cope when separation anxiety becomes unbearable in a relationship: 10 ways

Here are ten strategies to help you cope and keep your relationship thriving, even when distance creates waves. 

1. Open communication

What it means	What you can do	How it can help
Regularly discussing feelings and anxieties with your partner.	Schedule regular check-ins and be honest about your feelings.	Builds trust and understanding, helping to alleviate fears and insecurities.

2. Establish routines

What it means	What you can do	How it can help
Creating daily or weekly habits that provide consistency.	Plan regular activities like weekly date nights or morning calls.	Reduces anxiety by giving you something to look forward to.

3. Practice mindfulness

What it means	What you can do	How it can help
Engaging in mindfulness activities like meditation or deep breathing exercises.	Set aside time each day for mindfulness practices.	Calms the mind, reduces stress, and keeps you present.

4. Set boundaries

What it means	What you can do	How it can help
Clearly defining personal space and time for self-care.	Communicate your needs for alone time or space to your partner.	Ensures both partners have time to recharge, reducing feelings of overwhelm.

5. Seek professional help

What it means	What can you do	How it can help
Consulting a therapist or counselor to address deeper issues.	Find a therapist specializing in anxiety or relationship issues.	Provides expert guidance and strategies tailored to your situation.

6. Engage in hobbies

What it means	What can you do	How it can help
Investing time in personal interests and hobbies.	Dedicate time each week to activities you enjoy.	Keeps you engaged and distracted, reducing focus on anxiety.

7. Stay connected

What it means	What you can do	How it can help
Utilizing technology to stay in touch, like video calls or texts.	Set up regular times to connect via phone or video chat.	Maintains a sense of connection and reduces feelings of loneliness.

8. Self-care practices

What it means	What you can do	How it can help
Prioritizing activities that nurture your physical and emotional well-being.	Incorporate activities like exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation into your routine.	Boosts overall mood and reduces stress levels.

9. Positive affirmations

What it means	What you can do	How it can help
Using positive self-talk to combat negative thoughts.	Write down and repeat affirmations daily.	Reinforces self-confidence and reduces anxiety.

10. Support network

What it means	What you can do	How it can help
Leaning on friends and family for support and reassurance.	Reach out to loved ones when you feel anxious or overwhelmed.	Provides additional emotional support, making it easier to cope with anxiety.

Facing the tides of separation anxiety in relationships

While separation anxiety from a partner can feel overwhelming, it doesn’t have to define your relationship. 

Remember, it’s not just about coping; it’s about thriving and turning challenges into stepping stones. Take proactive steps to communicate openly, establish routines, practice mindfulness, and seek support. 

Empower yourself and your partner to build a foundation of trust and understanding that can withstand any distance. 

Your bond can become even more unbreakable, proving that love knows no bounds. Now is the time to act, to connect, and to cultivate a partnership that flourishes, no matter the miles in between.